Depression and the Extrovert

[Yosh]

Hello community.

I've had this question on my mind for a long time and if anyone can shed some light, I could do with some help.

I'm 24 and looking to start my career - which ironically is in counselling. When I look back at everything I've managed to do and accomplish, I have a whole list of amazing moments. I have a great support network and I genuinely love meeting new people and socializing. Everyone around me knows me for my positive energy and humor. But what they don't know is that I spend a lot of time hating myself, feeling anxious and worried and, at least for the last month, crying alone.

My depression is getting worse because I'm thinking I won't make it. When I'm in my lowest low I hate myself and I feel powerless. Every time I do something, I do it wrong. I've realised that I social with others as a mean to pretend that everything's fine but it's just fake. The people around me aren't actually friends and I have no one to turn too. I've never felt more alone and yet I find myself being the typical extrovert. I'm tired of putting up with front.

Has anyone else felt like this? Is it somewhat okay to go against the typical symptoms of depression as an extrovert?

[white knight]

Hi Yosh, welcome

It sounds like you need at leadt one meaningful close relationship.

You are also expending energy where it wont do you any good.

Google (you can just read the first post)

Topic: worry worry worry- beyondblue

Topic: is crying any good for you?- beyondblue

Those friends if yours still fill a void if you didnt have them.

Topic: the labyrinth of friendships- beyondblue

Topic: depression, a ship on the high seas- beyondblue

Topic: the balance of your life- beyondblue

The last thread I'll recommend is one that suggests stimulation by change.

Topic: be radical- beyondblue

I hope that helps

Repost anytime hete or on those threads

Tony WK

[Yosh]

Thanks Tony WK,

You've given me some good content to read through and given me a good learning curve.

Thanks for the support 🙂

[gj94]

Hi Yosh,

I'm 23 and am also looking to start my career. I can definitely relate to your experience. For much of my University life I had a great group of friends and loved meeting new people. As far as everyone was concerned, I was a vibrant and funny individual. However like you, I would feel empty and worried when I was by myself. I also started feeling as if my friends were preoccupied with their own lives and that I was a mere convenience for them when things went wrong in their lives. Overtime I accepted that we are at a funny age and this experience of highs and lows was just a phase. I have started meeting more amazing people as time has progressed and I am reassured of the fact that there are amazing people out there who truly do care.

Tony WK nailed it when he mentioned energy expenditure and balance. I have personally found that martial arts, meditation, tv shows etc. help with balance. They give me something to do whilst alone (cultivating knowledge/personality) and diversify my day to day life. Thanks to these pursuits, I can be happy with or without people around. They have also allowed me to relate with different types of people.

I rarely experience depression, anxiety etc. now. I hope you also find balance in your life. Depression can make you feel like there is no way forward but through experience I know that it gets better. I hope this has helped.