Depression and close family overseas - anyone else in the same situation?

KC12 · ‎11-08-2020

Hi all,

I have been depressed from some years now and I have been struggling to find my place here in Australia. I moved here for love as my husband is Australian. He knows how I am feeling and although we speak about it a lot he can't really empathise as all his family and friends are 1 hour away and mine are 30 hours on a plane...

Due to the travel restrictions and my PR status, I am not able to leave the country which I thought it was okay during the worst times but seeing all the information about being trapped here until next year,2 years or waiting for the vaccine(?) is making my anxiety go wild. My close family(parents and sister) are overseas and not knowing when I can see them is really affecting me. I really struggle to keep my worry under control and it doesn't help all the news about it. My home country and family got hit really bad, and Australia's number is nothing comparing to what Europe went through but they were never stripped from their right to leave their country.

Sorry for the rant, just want to see if anyone else is in the same situation and it would be helpful to hear how are they coping.

Thanks

Guest_1584 · ‎05-09-2020

Ha , l just got an email from her tonight and they've been back in Spain and with his kids again awhile but now Spain's gotten really bad again. She says it took them over 7mths to get back but now they're locked in again in Spain. They don't need to go anywhere or back to Slovenia it's just ironic though that first they couldn't get back in and now they couldn't get out.

lunastone · ‎06-09-2020

Randomx, hope your gf gets to come and visit soon. Like you, i also thought everything was great with the strict restriction etc but now just couldn't agree with it anymore. This has gone on for too long without a more creative way than shutting everything. To me, there is a difference between dictatorship style of restriction and restriction (preventive measure?). I don't have the issue of social distancing as such but not letting aussies back in and can't let people see family within australia is just cruel.

KC12: you are not alone. I can relate your situation. I keep hoping that there wouldn't be any emergency situation with my oversea family that i really need to go but couldn't. Put international border aside, a lot of families have been affected interstate. I spoke to my SE asian friends. Those countries also close their border but it doesn't seem too hard to return to their own country from a business trip as long as they are willing to quarantine in a hotel for 14 days. 7 days if you aren't returning from a hotspot + testing. Securing a flight also doesn't seem like a huge issue. Singapore does require people to pay for their own medical fee if the citizens go on holiday oversea and contracted covid upon returning. No ban. Anyway, my heart also sank when i heard the announcement. Some even report an opening of mid July next year and CMO says until vaccine is here -- that really distressed me but I will take it one day at a time.

lunastone · ‎06-09-2020

randomx: to add, in your friend situation, some people would say "why don't they just stay put?". There are a lot of such comment floating around and thus very much want the border closes as long as it takes. The issue is that some people don't seem to understand that life isn't static. People move for family, job, funeral etc. Yes, I'm staying put if i don't have any of those urgent reasons right now. But i do wish people can have more understanding than just labeling these people as selfish.

Guest_1584 · ‎06-09-2020

Hey luna. Yeah they are staying it was just ironic that's all. And thanks for the nice wishes with gf too, yeah just looking at tickets and airport lock downs and God knows what else tonight but we should be right from what l can tell. She won't need to go back until well into next yr after this and who knows eh, maybe it's just all bloody over by then anyway hey.

Sounds like most of Europe's borders are open now and l read before most aren't locking down again which l reckon is a stand that will have to be made sooner or later because as you say , can't live like this forever , Australia should be open within now , no one else has got anything much it's only Vic.

KC12 · ‎14-09-2020

Hi lunastone,

I also try to take one day at a time. However, as much as I try I can't help but always have it on my mind. I just saw an article about Scot Morrison saying he wants all Australians stranded overseas to be able to be home by Christmas and spend it with their family. Of course, they would have to quarantine and pay for it, but no rights for the ones who have their families overseas? Not only PRs, but few of my friends are also dual nationals and have all their families overseas. So if those who also want to spend Christmas with family overseas need to quarantine and pay for it, why we are not able to? Because we are not born and raised Australians and we belong to a "second class". It is disgusting and cruel.

I am sorry for the rant, needed to vent,otherwise the damage to my mental health would be even worse..

Tangney · ‎14-09-2020

Hi KC12. I agree with you. It's very unfair and doesn't make any sense. There hasn't been any explanation given to us as to why we are being stopped from leaving the country. I'm not a dual national, but I'm still angry about not being allowed to leave. I don't think it's legal to stop people from leaving for no reason. It can't hurt anyone here if people leave. It's cruel and perverse.

Guest_1584 · ‎15-09-2020

lt's bloody ridiculous l couldn't imagine wth any logic behind it must be . One thing with this gov' though if something looks like costing them money they'll usually do rubbish like this but l can't see how people leaving could it must be some thing about them coming back later. But it's bs whatever it is.

lunastone · ‎15-09-2020

Hi, KC,

i'm so sorry to hear that the news triggered your emotion. I honestly don't know how it is going to be possible to bring all the aussies home by Christmas. People can't even move around interstate freely, which would have been the first step to do. The whole issue is caused by the international arrival cap. Airline is charging an arm and leg to get people back into Australia. Then, the govt is blaming the airline for price gauging? Which airline wants to fly into perth for 525 people per week cap (ie. 75 per day) while Aus PR/citizens can't even leave the country? PM wants other state to help offload the cap in Sydney. No idea how that's going to work as WA is darn shut even for states with 'zero' case (even with quarantine).

The issue for you would be coming back in. I know someone personally who live in WA and is still stuck in sydney. Kinda ridiculous if you ask me. I also read about a canberra woman got exemption to visit her dying mother's in canada but took a huge effort to come back. Third leg of her trip got cancelled due to Aus arrival cap. The high commission stepped in to help -- seeking exemption for home quarantine not hotel so she wouldn't be counted in the cap. She was also in her late pregnancy. It costs her $8k one way ticket. Sadly, the comments on that news article are infuriating. It just gets to show so many heartless people out there.

I totally feel you. My parents miss their grandkid very much. I have come to accept that we won't see each other this year. While we don't see the other side of the family as often, they are also being affected. I was told that they can't use the normal DHL service to mail grandkid's present this year for birthday and christmas unless they pay $70 express. DHL told them that there is no airfreight coming into Australia due to govt regulation. I really hope that our border starts opening it up slowly for many reasons including international trade as it is getting a bit ridiculous. People are willing to quarantine and pay. Isn't that good business for the hotel now that most domestic functions are all cancelled due to the restrictions?

Tangney · ‎17-09-2020

Hi everyone. Yes, it's utterly ridiculous. But, from memory, I think the international border was closed very early on (March?) and the cap on international arrivals was imposed around July? If this is accurate, the border closure wasn't connected to people returning. The unintended consequence of this was that the dictatorial Premiers have followed suit. I heard the SA Premier saying yesterday that cricketers are different because they bring in a lot of money and they need to train to keep fit. If I was dual national, I would leave without any intention of returning. Who wants to live in a country that locks its own citizens in? There are better places in the world to live. If only I could get out of here...

Scallywagin · ‎17-09-2020

Hi KC12,

I can relate very well. Im in Australia for last 20 years, originally from India. Married Indian women..getting divorced this year, 8 yrs old daughter being taken away from me and her mum moved to Melbourne because of biased family report writer..no domestic violence as my faith is non-violence. So, im alone here in the country, I struggle everyday to get up for work, I dont know how to deal with this loneliness/depression but Im taking a step at a time. When I get cranky at the system I take refuge in Marcus Aurelius, Nietzsche, Vivekananda, etc, but it still doesnt help. I cannot visit my parents in India due to this virus stuff.
I didnt want to get you down by my story but thats just to say that I am still here, I have a good job with govt..try to distract my mind by making stuff in my garage and working on my cars.So, I would suggest you read, visualise, write, draw, paint, whatever... to help you get distracted. Dont get brain and body get used to depression.