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Depression and anxiety after drinking
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Hello all
So on the weekend I had a family get together, which I brought my gf to. I love her dearly.
After a couple of glasses of wine with lunch, I secretly went to the garage and skulled two bottles of wine. When my gf asked me what was wrong I lied and said nothing was wrong. I said I hadn't been drinking. I never lie other then when I drink and feel ashamed.
Ieffectively abandoned her at my family get together, and she had to drive me home. She can no longer trust me when I am drinking, and I feel a have really betrayed her.
I have historically been an alcoholic, and probably a drug addict. Now I hardly drink, but feel like I want to about once a month to check out from the world.
I have changed my life incredibly, I meditate, go to gym, and engage with the world in a much more healthy manner.
This slip up has made me feel very poorly about myself, especially how I lied to my gf and family. I regret my actions, and feel depressed and anxious about life in general.
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Hello Brian! Welcome to the forum, it's great to meet you!
How you stop largely depends on how much you are drinking - and if you can it's worth discussing this with a doctor, or an alcohol service counsellor.
As a rule of thumb, if you are drinking constantly, for example during the day, keeping yourself 'topped up' so to speak, or if you are drinking very large amounts at night every night, and have been for a long time, going cold turkey can be dangerous because withdrawal can make us very ill with shakes, rapid heartbeat, high anxiety, dissociation, even hallucinations. It can even be fatal. If you feel your level of drinking is very high, a medically supervised detox is the best option, This involves cutting down gradually, drinking specified amounts at specified times, and switching from say spirits to beer, under the supervision of a doctor.
Another option, again with the support of your doctor, is to use a drug that reduces the desire to drink (and makes you feel very ill if you drink while taking it). My partner used that and it was effective for him.
If your drinking is constant but not very large amounts, you can certainly stop by yourself. I did that. But be warned, there can still be some nasty withdrawals, though not life threatening. If you are wanting to do this, I strongly suggest you take a few days off work to get through the tough early withdrawals. You might feel like you've got the flu, your body will work overtime expelling the toxins etc (if you get my meaning). Be very very kind to yourself during that time, keep well hydrated, eat when you can, don't fuss about the type of food - make it every wicked thing you can think of if it helps to ease the feelings of deprivation (and to keep your sugar levels stable - we get a lot of sugar from alcohol and cutting it out can cause terrible headaches etc).
This all sounds pretty grim I know and I won't kid you mate, it is. But once you get through the worst it gets easier and easier and you start to notice how much better you are, how much better you're sleeping and, most importantly, how much better you feel about yourself.
Running out of space here but I'll just point you to a thread on the Staying Well board called Battling the Booze. If you'd like to keep talking, how about we move over there? Then I can tell you all the good things! 😃 Hope to see you there Brian. You can do this mate!
Kaz
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Hello Still Out There and Brian...I wish I could adequately put into words, the encouragement, support and right guidance you need-I really do. I admire you for wanting to stop...it's not easy... I have just passed the 3 year mark of no alcohol- something neither I,nor my friends or family, nor my poor sons who had to watch the degradation, depression and mother out of control...thought would ever happen.
I used grog as an anaesthetic....to dull the emotional pain I was in for years and years, following several traumas on top of each other, with no PTSD treatment or diagnosis....(I had two young boys to look after, plus a job to support them....treatment was never suggested or offered by any professional...just had to "get on with it")
Is there a Drug and Alcohol unit at your local hospital?...I found the counsellor at ours very good, also their booklets on what to expect re withdrawal in the first few days - I was frustrated over the years as I WANTED to be admitted to hospital for a few days....away from grog and under supervision.
..(I live within walking distance of a pub, club, bottleshops etc....so sending me home was a recipe for disaster).......it was the second brush with near death...(I won't go into details here as it may contain trigger words) and the memory of it that finally hit home with me! I can't go there again...i don't want to go there again!
I chose to live.
I know this hasn't helped you in your individual cases.....but others of us, nice, kind, decent, talented, intelligent people have been where you are.......sincerely wishing you both well.........luv , Moon
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A couple of points is that you maybe able to stop for 2 or 3 months with having the intention to start drinking after this time, well at least you have given your body time to heal, but within a short time that break means nothing really because you're caught up again.
To be able to cut down is good but it can have the effects as trying to stop, because your body isn't getting what it wants, what it needs, that need to fill your quota, but it can be done if you want to keep to your goal, but this needs mind over control, I know it's not easy, because it's an addiction, a strong addiction, but if you really want to stop then my suggestion is to just stop, because if you are still able to drink, then that's the weak point that can be easily broken. Geoff.
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