Depressed at work or work making me depressed

[ThelmaC]

I'm really struggling at work and feel trapped in a job that no longer offers me the stimulation and accomplishments I need for my mental health and career progression.

I have a lot of family challenges and don't get much emotional support from home. I fell apart a bit earlier in the year as I couldn't sleep properly and even had a sleep study test done.

I've been too long in my role and I have been searching for another job. I used to love it but my team leader (not line-manager) is a very rigid micro-manager and I am unable to thrive under that kind of leadership. We don't communicate well and since I've been reporting to someone else she doesn't talk to me directly unless she has to. I can't win her trust.

I set myself very clear goals of what to accomplish this year to help me get another job where I can flourish. Unfortunately my role changed and throughout the year all my goals were unable to be met.

As it wouldn't be clear for a while what my new responsibilities would be, I reduced my hours for several months and concentrated on networking and job applications. I felt great when I have an 'iron in the fire' but I haven't even had an interview and I am no longer in a good head space to look for work. After too many years in the same role my skill set doesn't suit what the market wants. I have therefore looked into PG Study as my workplace has a policy supporting this. This new focus is empowering and gives me hope. However, my line-manager has just urged me to consider delaying study because she's concerned that with my mental health issues it would be another layer that I couldn't cope with and they need me to be at full capacity next year.

I'm gutted because she has been very supportive of me finding ways to get some breadth. Her attitude seemed to change after she spoke with our line manager.

I am often sad at work. My morale is low. I'm sometimes very flat and avoid people and sometimes I've expressed frustration. I put effort into my work relationships but I've just been told I need to be careful how I present myself. I'm ashamed that I have made colleagues uncomfortable by crying at work.

I don't know what to do. I am trying to do all the right things. I have good peer support, I see a psych, I take meds, I exercise, drink less, keep good social contact, work on my marriage, support my special needs kids and make time for myself and my hobbies. I am mostly happy away from work except for some issues with communicating with my husband.

[Doolhof]

Hi ThelmaC,

It sounds like you are trying really hard to improve your work situation and work on all aspects of your life to enhance all aspects of it.

Has there been strategies and ideas the psych has offered you that seem to work better for you than others?

Are there work coaches or support people you can talk to further understand how you can assist yourself in the workplace?

When at work and you are beginning to feel overwhelmed with everything, do you have some strategies or ideas that may help to reduce the impact of how negative you may be feeling?

Would you consider using the support services at Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 to help you when you are feeling down?

Are there thigs you may be able to do at work during your lunch break to add some interest to your day?

Do you get time off during the holidays? Can you try and do something really different with the family during that time?

You don't need to answer these questions. I am just trying to think of thigs you may be able to do differently until a new job presents itself.

Regards from Dools

[ThelmaC]

Thank you. I need to develop a strategy to use at work when I'm overwhelmed. I have lots of things in place to improve the quality of my spare time even at work. I was so focussed on getting out via another job that I haven't yet worked on how to manage myself staying longer.

[loouuiiee]

Hi ThelmaC

sending you much love!
it’s great that you are so dedicated to self growth and career progression 🙂 I admire that.

It sounds like you are very proactive and goal orientated.
maybe make an action plan with your psychologist which allows you to focus but also to take a step back if things are getting to much.
maybe speak to fairwork or another confidential organisation who can support you through dealing with your manager.
I say have a Plan A and a Plan B and discuss all options for both with your psych and fairwork (or some other kind of job coach). You can take small positive steps towards both so you have all grounds covered - for example; Plan A could be to continue seeking a new and more exciting job, Plan B could be to improve things at your current workplace and see if you can make it better and perhaps if it gets better you may actually want to stay?

make sure you have a support system behind you - someone who knows all the rights and regulations of the industry who can make sure you are treated fairly and can put your best foot forward, the psych to help you with strategies and your most trusted family and friends to hold your hand through it all and to make sure you are not overdoing it & exerting yourself.
take it easy, be kind to yourself and remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day.
you don’t have to run at your dreams like a bull at a gate, which is something I tend to do... but I have realised that slow, small steps are still progress in the right direction and can be equally powerful whilst ensuring a far better level of self care for yourself & others in your life 🙂