Competative Play and Dealing With Losing

Lehnah · ‎08-11-2014

I'd like to ask others here how they deal with losing at any form of comparative play. A few months ago my sisters boyfriend introduced me to Magic: The Gathering. For those that may not know, it's a collectible card game in you build a deck made up of spercific cards and battle others. There are thousands and thousands of variables that can potentially come into play depending on the deck you play against and your own deck. It is a very mentally taxing game, lots of strategy and you've no idea how the deck you have will play until you play it against someone.

Anyhoo, I've been going with friends to Magic game night and I have been enjoying it for the most part. However, I find that if I have a bad night, say I lose each game or, even worse, get utterly smashed, I get really depressed and consider giving up all together. For example, last night I lost every game. I had a new deck that I had been working very hard on. My friends helped me put it together and make it better. We tested it against various deck and every time it went really well. Even if I didn't win, it was very close.

Last night at the game night, though, I was thrashed. Utterly. Every game. What I experienced was a mix of anger at"wasting" all this time building the deck, having my friends help me with it and playing game after game with them to test it; frustration at having it perform really well in those test games only to get thrashed at the actual game night and depression thinking that everyone there probably thinks I'm a useless, rubbish player and if they come across me with think "this guy, he's crap. I'm gonna thrash him." It made me feel very worthless and I just wanted to get out of there and hide away.

By the time I got home I'd calmed down a little. I was still somewhat depressed but decided to chalk it up to having a bad night and I'd try a different deck next week. It stuck me how affected I'd been by the experience, however, and wondered if it was indeed my depression coming through or I just didn't know how to deal with losing. I'v never been into sport or really any other kind of competitive play so I guess I've not had much experience with losing.

So, the question is do you think my feeling were depression related, or related to my lack of experience and how can I deal with this in the future? Any advice would be much appreciated.

Cheers.

Jacko777 · ‎08-11-2014

Hi Lehnah,

I am glad you are inquiring about your reactions, the more we can learn about ourselves the better.

There is a quote; 'When you lose, don't lose the lesson.' Success is just a series of failures, if you can stay calm you can analyse (without emotion) where you went wrong and where your competitor/s went right. I would respond with respect for my competitor who obviously has a better game plan, give them credit where it is due and learn from them. All this stuff takes practice and some days are better than others!

And above all, keep everything in perspective, this is a card game, not a life and death situation. You have obviously put a lot of effort into this, don't forget about the other parts of your self. Keep us posted.

Jacko777 · ‎10-11-2014

Oh and I should mention, it appears there is an element of luck in this game. Luck, as you know, can go either way, some days you win, some days you lose, there is no controlling luck and you want to avoid losing energy to anything you can't control...takes practice!

If you can find calmness when you play, you will improve your awareness and possibly your chances.

gnull · ‎16-11-2014

I play magic its a very logical game. Well it was made by a mathematicion after all, I guess its more of a philosophy how you deal with losing. I'd say depression might be making you irritable but losing can do that too. My advice is dont let it turn you into a bm player noone wants to play with the grumpy guy. Try to view it m o re as a social thing if you had fun you are winning.

CrashCoyote · ‎17-11-2014

Mate,

Win some, lose some. You aren't playing for cattle stations so just roll with it. If it isn't fun, it's work!

Kind regards, John.

P.S. In any competition, remember that no one is the best, there will always be someone better. When my son tries his hardest in a race at the sports carnival and still gets beaten, I remind him that only one of the eight kids were ever going to win, the rest wouldn't. I tell him it is about trying, not winning. It is possible to do everything right and still lose!