Can’t leave the house

[Shel1]

For the past month I’ve been too depressed to go to school. Every new week I promise myself I’ll go but I keep putting it off and when I wake up, I get so anxious about it I force myself back to sleep to calm down. I don’t know what to do anymore and I’ve gotten numerous calls from my school asking where I am. I don’t live with my parents anymore and I’ve found that without the pressure of authority it’s hard to get anything done. Does anyone have any tip on how I can overcome this? I need to keep going to school but the thought of it makes me so scared I want to cry, and it feels like there’s a weight in my chest

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Shel,

You sound so sad, stressed and down. Motivation has clearly been a struggle for you (as I feel is often the case when we are feeling low). My heart goes out to you...

I wonder if your school knows how much you’re struggling. Perhaps you could consider sending an email to your school counsellor to explain what is happening in terms of your mood. I feel might be a good starting point to not only gain some professional support from your school but also maybe they will be more lenient on your past and future absences, for example.

I also feel it’s worthwhile checking out the Headspace website. They have a whole range of free services for young people so there might be something for you there. The website should be easy to find online...

You’re most welcome here so please feel free to write as often as you like. I hope you’re finding your way around the forums okay. We would love to support you here.

Kind and caring thoughts,

Pepper

[Shel1]

Thank you so much for the suggestions, I’ve contacted headspace before but the worker I spoke to seemed to talk down to me. I tried explaining the feeling of helplessness but he seemed to be convinced it was just due to lack of effort on my behalf, which struck me down quite a lot. I started hating myself afterwards because I believed that it was my own fault I was so lost. I’m sure I could ask to see someone else though, I want to be able to talk to someone who will help, instead of blaming me.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Shel,

It’s wonderful to hear from you again. Thanks so much for writing...

That must have been very disappointing with the Headspace worker. You were brave enough to reach out for help. But instead, he blamed you...that must have really hurt and to the point where it triggered feelings of self loathing.

It’s absolutely not your fault that you’re struggling. Please know this. I’m so sorry about your experience with that particular worker...

Yes, you’re right, there are other people. Sadly, sometimes I feel we have to try multiple mental health workers before we find one that both gets us and is genuinely understanding. I haven’t tried it before but there’s a “Find a professional” link on the BeyondBlue website (it’s under “Get support”) so maybe you might like to take a look. Just another idea...but totally up to you whether you feel you want to explore that or not...

Kind and caring thoughts,

Pepper

[S98]

Hey shel,

I know exactly how you feel and how stressful it can be on yourself. It took me ages to over come it because I was getting bullied I never wanted to go. Is there something that’s making you not want to be there in particular?

In the end I was forced to go by my parents and it actually just overcame my fear but everyone deals with things differently.

Hope to hear back from you soon,

S.

[Shel1]

Thank you both for the support, I’m really glad people can understand here. I got really bad hospital sick about a month ago and was out of school for a week. I was already a little behind but after loosing a week of school I was so scared of how behind I was I guess I built it up in my head. I feel like it’ll be hard to face my teachers and my friends now, as I was a part of a group project but didn’t come to school to help contribute enough. I feel like I’ve let them down and they might hate me for it, and I’m also scared of how behind I might be now that I’ve shut myself away

[J-J]

Hi Shel,

Is it possible to change to online classes, like Tafe for High School equivalent or Uni?

I would go talk to your GP if they can prescribe some anti-anxiety medication, I had to use them when I was having a hard time at work.

Hope you have some support.

JJ

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Shel (and a wave to all the caring supporters here),

It’s lovely to hear from you again and no worries, you’re most welcome 🙂

I feel things have clearly been very rough for you. Being in hospital must have been hard enough by itself, not to mention the transition back to school on top.

I get what you’re saying about your fears and worries. You sound like a person who tries very hard to pull their weight and to be reliable (I respect that). So it must have been extra hard for you to not have been as actively involved in the project as you would have liked.

To be fair though, I feel you have had a lot of struggles and were in hospital so maybe you’re being a little hard on yourself. After all, it wasn’t your fault that you missed some school days...you sound like you’re a well meaning person who is trying (his/her/other gender identification) best in a difficult situation...

Kind and caring thoughts,

Pepper

[Shel1]

Thank you all so much for the support, I’ve tried to go to school twice now but every time I get close I break down crying. I’m trying again tomorrow though. Other people’s opinions of me has become an obsession and I feel like I can’t face anyone after letting them down. I’m so glad you believe I’m a well meaning person, and maybe I am being hard on myself but I can’t seem to stop. I just wish I had a reset button you know?

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Shel (and a wave to your other lovely supporters here),

You’re most welcome 🙂

Good on you for trying. I feel 2 attempts to go to school is incredible. Well done!

Even if you didn’t end up quite arriving at school, I understand you have been trying your absolute best and that’s what truly counts. I feel effort always counts... just keep trying and with enough attempts to get out the door, I have faith that you’ll get to school one day 🙂

I hear what you’re getting at. I feel it can be so hard to be completely unaffected by others’ opinion/judgment. That said, I wonder if your friends have actually said you’ve let them down or do you think maybe it might be your fears/worries playing on your mind?

Yes, I do believe you’re a caring and considerate person who has good intentions. I feel you’re being so hard on yourself too...I realise it’s easier in theory than in practice but maybe try to gently remind yourself that sometimes we have to let go of our own expectations of ourselves and create new ones. Maybe something to ponder...

Let us know how things go if you’re feeling up to it and I’m cheering you on as you try to make it to school today. Regardless of the outcome, I’m proud of you for trying 🙂

kind and caring thoughts,

Pepper