Bipolar emotional freeze

[white knight]

I've had this since I was 12yo... 55 years. Under trauma or during an argument when you feel like you are being lectured perhaps I completely shut down. If I can get out any words it might be "cant talk now".

Bipolar people read emotions whereas others go by content of their words mostly. We read peoples emotional connection, facial features with the slightest movement. But the bipolar emotional freeze is something I just learned about a few days ago and was unaware it was from bipolar as I have a few other illnesses. 

What can a partner do when one goes into this state? Well that state is an extremely deep place to be, it is not dissimilar to grief... sometimes I've likened it to shock, frozen for about 20-40 minutes. So why is it an important topic?

As I've had these maybe 6 times a year thats over 300 total, I believe it is not a safe condition to be in. Recently at the end of such a state I immediately walked into my clinic and sought help. That resulted in a new mental health plan and assistance. It's what we all should do- without fail, seek help.

Conflict is more common between bipolar people due to this method of reading emotional reactions but we are also deeply sensitive, in fact everything we do is "deep". I havent met a shallow bipolar person yet. This means that people without bipolar operate their mind differently to bipolar and its the reason bipolars find conflict hard to avoid, resolve, make sense of and we feel alone developing a desire to become a hermit. 

In my thread "Want to be a hermit" it depicts several times I went up to the mountains with an unhealthy mind only to return when my mind was more rational. My thinking on the way up was high emotion, rejection, confusion and unhealthy, unsafe... on the way down 5 days later my mind was more rational, I could tolerate human contact and was eager to return to work and save money... total opposites.

I'll leave the rest of the analogy to the experts. Hypomania/depression swings/freezing, lots to learn  if you or a loved one has bipolar. The only advice I'd give is to remain calm with a bipolar in a "freeze", touch his arm to give him/her comfort and support and after 15 minutes tell them you will make a cuppa. Keep one eye on them if they leave the area... follow at a distance for a while then approach and hug. When in a freeze thats what I'd like. If it gets worse call lifeline on 131114

TonyWK

[quirkywords]

Tony

 thanks for your post. If i feel attacked personally I used to have have three responses

i cry

i hide 

or I fight back verbally and retreat what I have said as I say it. 

now I tend to write down how I feel 

[Airies]

I tend to say sorry if it’s my wife as she is the one that faces it. I’m in my own little world

[Ggrand]

Hello Tony, Quirky and readers…..🤗..

If I’m personally attacked, I’ll stay and listen, probably frozen to much to walk away, often holding back my tears until I’ve safely hidden myself away from society….cry as my mind takes over and thinks constantly on that conversation until my mind convinces me that the attack was warranted usually ending with myself in a depressive cycle…..and agreeing with them….which makes me feel worse about myself then the personal attack, probably intended to do…being highly sensitive can be either a blessing or a curse…depending on the circumstances…

Tony, so true about reading peoples reactions….change in their eyes, voice, looks even body movement/reactions…..sometimes you know, before even a word is spoken….but flight won’t come because freeze has taken oven….

I would love a soft hand on my shoulder or a gentle hug at times like that…unfortunately I have no one around me to do that for me….I’ve tried writing in a journal, crying into my fur babies fur…but in reality a person’s kind words, a gentle touch and/or hug is what our broken soul really needs, to help us start healing…..from another person’s criticism…or personal attack…

I have ran away a few times…(unintentionally)…I stayed in my car hidden away from sight, in the bush I done this just after the event, no planning, no water, no food, no real destination just a quiet spot that I found…it helps,  I think because nature is helpful in calming our broken spirit…

A loving gentle hug or hand on our shoulders can be very beautiful and healing which can bring a lot of comfort to another person  when one is hurting from another human’s anger, criticism, meanness and disrespect….

Kind thoughts everyone….with a gentle hug 🤗..

Grandy..

[Aunt Jobiska]

I'd be wary of ascribing the peculiarities of your experience to your bipolarity.... I have a severe bipolar illness but don't resonate with anything you've said. Your bipolar probably is a factor, but it may not be the predominant factor. Could you say your bipolar illness presents this way, rather than bipolar is like this... If I'm anything to go by, plenty of people with bipolar have experiences that aren't anything like yours. Bipolar may be relevant to your presentation, it may not. Even if it is relevant, please acknowledge that what you are saying does not apply to many people with bipolar. What is relevant is that it is your experience, whether it's your upbringing, personality, illness, or a combination of the above... It doesn't have to be a bipolar thing to have credibility. The fact that it's a thing for you is enough in an of itself. You and your distress matters. Whether it's a bipolar thing or not is irrelevant in the bigger picture (especially when I'm inclined to think it's not). Hope that helps.

[white knight]

Hi welcome

"If I'm anything to go by, plenty of people with bipolar have experiences that aren't anything like yours"...

How many are "plenty?" What evidence do you have that emotional freezing (my words) isn't included in low mood bipolar 1 or 2?"

"Even if it is relevant, please acknowledge that what you are saying does not apply to many people with bipolar"  How many is many?. Not many can include me can it not?

I said I'd recently learned about what I call the "emotional freeze" (that 3 other members admit they have experienced in comments above) in the Youtube video "Bipolar and feeling things so deeply"

https://youtu.be/jyKcb6UUcDU?si=iDG5LemNmpJ8CqNo

In that short video she mentions  "communicating through emotional extremes" "when I'm depressed" she says, "I cant move, I cant even speak... its as if the machine has completely shut down".

That video content describes my extreme exactly- and its bipolar. I feel your post is designed to marginalise me through symptoms that you widely claim are not bipolar but is clearly demonstrated in that video... hence my attempt to help others if they experience a bipolar emotional freeze. So I question the purpose of your post when unlike my video, evidence is clearly lacking.

I'm sorry, your comments didn't help on this occasion.

TonyWK