Hi all, this is my first posting on a forum. I am Bipolar, have been all my life, well, since I can remember anyway. I was always diagnosed as depressed, and I guess that was because of some traumatic events that happened in my life, and obviously I wouldn't come out of that unscathed. I always felt that it was more than that, ( being depressed, or suffering from PTSD), but I couldn't explain it. As I got older and with my symptoms becoming more serious and varied, I sought councilling and was described various medications to stabilize my moods. But nothing helped. I would swing between feeling what I would consider "normal", and deep, deep depression, which I could not understand, as everything was okay in my life. To cut a long story short, and to not go into too much, I was resently diagnosed. Bipolar. Well thanks. Even though it gives me a reason to understand my longstanding behaviours and feelings, and how I've never felt "normal", I now have to realise that this is my life. That nothing apart from medication, can help me. Where was the help I needed all those years ago, before I lost my children, my family and my friends?? How could I have expected everyone else to understand why I was like I was, when I never could understand it myself? I am now nearly 57, in my second marriage, which is being destroyed by this horrible disorder, and I'm really sick of it.
