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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Gumtree77 So disappointed and let down
  • replies: 2

Hi I had shoulder surgery on March 10. Prior to that all my family and friends kept saying "let us know if there is anything you need" etc. Surgery came and went and other than my sister not one person has done a damn thing for me. No one has come ov... View more

Hi I had shoulder surgery on March 10. Prior to that all my family and friends kept saying "let us know if there is anything you need" etc. Surgery came and went and other than my sister not one person has done a damn thing for me. No one has come over to visit or help out with the house and garden. The surgery was complex and I have been in constant pain since. I landed in Emergency two days after with severe chest pain and suspected embolism; luckily that wasn't the case. I can barely sleep for one hour at at time. All these people have texted me asking if I am ok etc but NOT ONCE made any effort to actually DO anything for me. I am in an extremely low state. Constant pain, sleep deprivation and now other parts of my body are paining me because I am all bent out of shape when I do actually get some sleep. I am also very worried and anxious about the pandemic. I really feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel...not just for me but for everyone. Back to the current situation; I am the one who goes over and above to help others. I have done so much for my family and friends over the years. It actually kills me to think that I am so insignificant to them. Any time there is trouble I get called. Anytime someone needs something I get called. And I do everything for these people! Sorry to be such a wet blanket but I am just so upset and disappointed. My brother lives in Melbourne; he didn't even bother to text me about the surgery. I spoke to him briefly online last night (he and my teenage son play online games) and he was drunk and being an idiot and didn't even care about me. I cut the conversation short as I was so angry. Even though my sister has been helping out minimally she makes little comments about 'running around after people' etc which make me feel like saying 'if you resent doing this then don't". After the Emergency Dpt she said to me 'you have to stop panicking about everything', I was in absolute agony and had no sleep for three nights....? I just don't understand! She and a friend we have in common have been catching up for dinner etc; they have not once invited me. I guess I must just be a pain in their backside or something. I don't know how to cope as I am now getting really angry at all of them and that will not end well! Thanks for reading my rant. Just typing this and putting it out there is slightly cathartic.

daughteroverseas How can I help my Dad in Scotland from here in Australia
  • replies: 1

My Dad is severely depressed and suicidal. I speak to him most days on the phone but it is difficult to help him from the other side of the world. He lives with my Mum who mentally abuses him every day. They are elderly and seperation is not an optio... View more

My Dad is severely depressed and suicidal. I speak to him most days on the phone but it is difficult to help him from the other side of the world. He lives with my Mum who mentally abuses him every day. They are elderly and seperation is not an option so endure each day and she is aware it. My mother's son to a previous relationship is also in the back ground scene causing more anxiety and mental stress. He talks fequently about ending his life and also how he can't handle anything. He has very little social interaction and gets up very late. I wondered if you could advise if there are any private support groups or organisation that may able to help him? I have my own family and commitments in australia and their relationship has affected my mental health in the past. Your advice is apprecaited.

jedlim physical pain from mental health?
  • replies: 4

Good evening, I'm not exactly sure why I'm here. But I guess I've acknowledged that stating how I feel and what I'm thinking might help in the matter. God, I hate myself so much! I'm such a loser. I have no friends. I'm an incel. I don't have achieve... View more

Good evening, I'm not exactly sure why I'm here. But I guess I've acknowledged that stating how I feel and what I'm thinking might help in the matter. God, I hate myself so much! I'm such a loser. I have no friends. I'm an incel. I don't have achievements. I can't even get simple things done correctly and/or efficiently. I'm not smart; quite the opposite. I'm ugly. And, worst of all: I've have no direction or purpose in life. I'm not even saying these things out of seeking sympathy, I just wanted to mention them just to give my current situation, furthermore, to justify why I'm very depressed. Is it even normal to feel physical pain because of your mental health? besides feeling tired all the time, and aching facial muscles from crying too much. Seriously, what the heck!? I sleep on average 2-3 hours a night just because of this!

Hiney Newbie here where to start?
  • replies: 1

Hello all I'm a 39 i have BPD and wicked Bipolar highs that must result in a low eventually. I'm self medicated, which gives me control but now paranoia is taking over perhaps because of this outrageous circumstances we are starting to live by. 2770 ... View more

Hello all I'm a 39 i have BPD and wicked Bipolar highs that must result in a low eventually. I'm self medicated, which gives me control but now paranoia is taking over perhaps because of this outrageous circumstances we are starting to live by. 2770 cheers.

CrisP Major Depression Disorder, constant anxiety borderline bipolar
  • replies: 1

I've been anxious since my early teens, age of 11 as a male, moved out of home aged 15, I fell of a three storey balcony and crush fractured my lumber spine narrowing the spinal column, I held a full time job for 18 years was then diagnosed type 1.5 ... View more

I've been anxious since my early teens, age of 11 as a male, moved out of home aged 15, I fell of a three storey balcony and crush fractured my lumber spine narrowing the spinal column, I held a full time job for 18 years was then diagnosed type 1.5 diabetic, several partners cheat on me, family had already turned their back on me because I was gay but, I was driven, I wanted to make a life for myself, I wanted money and the more I tried to work the more I couldn't sleep, anxiety started creeping in. By the age I was 33 I was so anxious, paranoid, dillusionql, even though I was on medication, seeing a counselor, talking with psychiatrist, I developed graves diesease, I developed anorexia, I developed very severe sleep apnea, I gained 45kg, I lost lost 3 jobs within a 12 month period due to the fact I was so anxious to leave my bedroom or the bathroom I'd die. . . I still to this day wake up as I'm falling and screen, I'm in constant pain from my spinal injury, I can't twist, bend or pick anything up and you know... Calling Centrelink every 2 months for the last year alone, to be told the way we process you has changed, you need to resubmit, is beyond unacceptable. I'm now bankrupt, I have no family, I have no social circle, I have no capacity to make or keep friends so, I end up here.. I still meet with job seeker counsellors, gp', specialists, call lifeline, beyondblue, but, I need help. I need someone to sit down, listen, talk to me, communicate as a human being and sorry, if I feel I need to ask for help.. I don't believe suicide is an option and I do believe Centrelink has exqsibated my conditions but, I need help, I need an avenue, I can't just either away end up living on the street or be sent to an asylum.. I'm a human being and I deserve rights, I've been living with disabilities and thrashed myself mentally and physically, I just need a bit of help to create some sort of life I can support and deal with..

BeeFaace Don’t feel anymore
  • replies: 7

Ohk so this is my first time doing this just wanted a heads up if anyone knows what’s going on or if anyone else feels like this or tips to help please.. so I’m sorta going through something at the moment like life has got me at the point where I don... View more

Ohk so this is my first time doing this just wanted a heads up if anyone knows what’s going on or if anyone else feels like this or tips to help please.. so I’m sorta going through something at the moment like life has got me at the point where I don’t care about anything anymore. Iv withdrawn myself from society I fake my emotions. I don’t know when the last time I was actually happy or sad. Actually in all truth it sorta feels like I don’t feel anything anymore except black I don’t feel sad, love, happy just angry black blah that’s the only way I know how to explain it. I wake up everyday and I have to force myself or trick myself into thinking I’m happy or sad but it’ just feels numb please help need answers before it gets any worse

Nags Depressed sister
  • replies: 9

My sister is depressed. She breaks down every night. Tonight she called my parents and told them she is sorry for everything and she is not brave. Last week, her boyfriend broke up with her and when I asked her what's wrong she said that no one respe... View more

My sister is depressed. She breaks down every night. Tonight she called my parents and told them she is sorry for everything and she is not brave. Last week, her boyfriend broke up with her and when I asked her what's wrong she said that no one respects her (even me). I care so much about her but the thing is that she hardly listens to me. She doesn't eat food and I feel it is spoiling her health too. History: My sister has been having sudden break downs from past 8 years. But in this month it has gotten a lot. If any one of you have experienced the same situation with someone or within your family, any advice is appreciated. I am so bloody concerned about her guys. Please help me out!

Saoirse_M Sister moving in bringing up old triggers
  • replies: 3

I started to feel more like myself last year as I made some progress with my mental health after feeling deeply depressed and anxious for a long time. I’ve just started my last semester of uni before I graduate, then I’m doing honours. Last year my o... View more

I started to feel more like myself last year as I made some progress with my mental health after feeling deeply depressed and anxious for a long time. I’ve just started my last semester of uni before I graduate, then I’m doing honours. Last year my older sister and her husband decided to stop renting and start doing housesitting to save for a house deposit . I’ve never had a good relationship with her and I can’t stand her husband for extended periods of time. Knowing that there would be gaps in between the housesitting my mum said that they could stay with us, and they did for 3 weeks. I had told my mum that I didn’t think I would be able to cope if they stayed with us for longer than a week and that maybe she could set some boundaries for how long they could stay with us. She said that she would never turn away her daughter. It's my mum’s house so obviously I just had to accept it. During my uni break all I really wanted was to spend time alone to try to take better care of myself so I felt so disappointed. When they left I thought it would be the last time they would stay for so long. Then in January they moved back in (there weren’t any housesits because of the bushfires) and they’ve been here almost 3 months (now it's the coronavirus). They’re going on a short trip but after that it seems like they’re going to live here indefinitely. Up until recently my sister was unemployed and was home with me everyday, whilst job searching she had frequent meltdowns. She has her own mental health problems is in denial, even though we encourage her and my mum even gave her $1000 to pay for sessions she still hasn’t seen a psychologist. When my sister and her husband fight in the house makes me feel physically sick. Inside I could feel myself sinking to despair that I haven’t felt in years. It feels like I don’t have my own space anymore, the kitchen and the house is a mess because there isn’t enough room for their stuff. I’ve started seeing a new psychologist, I’m still on medication I started last year, and I go to yoga classes every week. But I don’t have the capacity to cope anymore. I’m so stressed by uni and by home that it feels impossible to focus on my assignments. I just feel hopeless and out of control of my own life. I felt really hopeful about this year in terms of my mental health getting better in a way that I have rarely felt, now I just feel crushed and I can't afford to move out. I loved this house but it doesn’t even feel like my home anymore.

emmalou Feeling frustrated.
  • replies: 3

Hi There Just posting as a way to vent frustration really. I feel there really isn't a lot of help out there for people with a mental illness. I've seen 2 GP's for depression in the last year. They've recommended talk therapy which I've tried but fee... View more

Hi There Just posting as a way to vent frustration really. I feel there really isn't a lot of help out there for people with a mental illness. I've seen 2 GP's for depression in the last year. They've recommended talk therapy which I've tried but feel like it's just a band aid really. I feel fine when I'm going, but can't always attend as it can be expensive even on a mental health plan. Saw my GP 2 weeks ago and made an appointment to see a psychologist on my latest mental health care plan, but can't get into to see her until next Saturday. I made the appointment straight after seeing my GP, which means I've had to wait 3 weeks overall to see someone. Have tried to see someone through my work but can't get in to see someone for 2 weeks there either. I've tried everything but medication really. Tried yoga, meditation, exercise, eating right. But nothing seems to get rid of my depression. Just incredibly frustrated with the whole thing.

Pandora_Paradoxical BPD person who needs a friend with knowledge of BPD
  • replies: 147

Hi, I am a 39 year old woman who has undiagnosed (but definitely) BPD and I have just ruined another online relationship with somebody because I couldn't handle yet another burst of emotional dysregulation. I have tried to undo the damage with all my... View more

Hi, I am a 39 year old woman who has undiagnosed (but definitely) BPD and I have just ruined another online relationship with somebody because I couldn't handle yet another burst of emotional dysregulation. I have tried to undo the damage with all my heart, but my friend is not responding (and probably rightly so) so now I am spiralling along the path of yet another rejection (but also knowing that it was self inflicted, of course) and am back to being crushingly lonely and craving connection with another human being. I prefer online contact now because it means I can't 'mirror' the other person like I do in a physical meet-up, which means I allow my 'true self' to shine through, although it has lead me to interpret written words in the wrong manner and was the main cause of the last disaster. So, how does a person with BPD find friends? I am aware that I have many qualities and gifts to offer as a friend, but when I have a BPD episode (even if I have informed the other person that I have it and what it is) my friends are often horrified and unable to reconcile the 'me' they thought they knew and the emotionally crashing mess in front of them. Enter awkwardness, enter apologies, enter....rejection. And I didn't mean to do it, not one bit. I just get overwhelmed, trapped in a vicious cycle of self doubt, needing constant relationship status reassurance and wondering whether I am good enough for the other person. Actually, after the storm passes and I have purged, I have more clarity and better resiliance to the matter at hand...but unfortunately, the other person has usually already bailed. Also, ironically, this does NOT happen on any other level in my life - it is ONLY when I have a close interpersonal relationship with someone that I like. If the other person is abusive or violent or aggressive....I am cool, calm and collected, with all the right responses and an incredible amount of tolerance. I don't understand it, but that's the way it is. It also means I am at risk for seeking out such terrible people because it is the only time I feel in control. Thankfully, my rational mind knows that is bad news and I steer clear. But where to from here? If I can't deal with liking someone (or they like me) and I can't be around people who are, well, nasty - what is left? How am I supposed to stop being lonely if I can't connect to someone? Anyone? Do I look for people who have BPD? Will it mean that we will be more understanding of each other or will we feed off each others fear of ultimate rejection? Do I look for people who have experienced another person with BPD and hope that they can understand me? Or do I have meaningless, casual relationships that never go beyond generalised chit chat? Any advice is welcome. I am floundering, exhausted, embarressingly desperate for a connection of some kind but also scared to involve another because I am well-aware of my capacity to hurt and confuse them with my outbursts and this is by far the worst torment I suffer - my negative impact on others (on occasion). My attempts to control my behaviour with self-help books and research has clearly failed, so I am currently looking for a BPD therapist in my area. Thank you.

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