Another bad night on the booze

Yana8216 · ‎12-06-2016

2 drinks at the pub after work yesterday turned into about 10 schooners of beer, maybe more. Binge drinking has affected my life for 12 years. Lately I have a big night about once a week. It's affecting my health, I'm hiding/lying about my whereabouts to my family when I'm out, and I make silly choices that could threaten my health/safety and my relationships.

My husband works away a lot which means I live on my own mostly, and the reason why I'm able to downplay my drinking. I'm so tired of feeling lethargic and unwell as a result of my drinking. I don't want to be the person I turn into after too many drinks. I'm tired of embarrassing myself and worrying that someone I know has seen me out when I'm intoxicated: I attend regular christian meetings with people who don't go to pubs, much less drink more than a couple. I am a shy person by nature and have been encouraged by work colleagues etc to drink in the past/present as it brings out my personality and I become a party animal.

After an emotional day nursing yet another hangover, missing bible study, and putting off housework that desperately needs doing I've decided to attend my local AA meeting tomorrow night. I desperately need support in order to turn my lifestyle around. My own efforts have failed. I'll let you all know how it goes. To anyone else experiencing this battle I wish you all the best in beating it.

pipsy · ‎12-06-2016

Hi Yana8216. The loneliness you feel is part of the reason you drink. The drink numbs the pain of being lonely, the fact that you have the freedom to go on the binges you mention doesn't give you any reason not to go. Having the strength to want attend AA is great, actually having the guts to follow through could be another story. We all have the need for crutches be they for broken legs or emotional crutches. Drink is another crutch, but used wrongly it can create all sorts of problems. The hangover is curable, the dependence on the alcohol needs help in a lot of cases. I'm pleased you recognize you need help. I'm hoping your strength and faith will be your crutch against the need for the alcohol. Best wishes for all of your strength in fighting the dependence for alcohol.

Lynda.

geoff · ‎13-06-2016

hi Yana, we use alcohol as a substitute to numb our true feelings, I know I did it in depression and it cost me my marriage, but that's not so much the issue here, or perhaps it is, but to become 'the party animal' can have it's benefits if that's how you want your life to be, but in the long run it will only come back to haunt you, not only with people who say they are your friends, well they're not they are just people to see what you will do when you are drunk and certainly won't vouch for what you actually do, only encourage your behaviour, and when something bad happens they will disappear.
If you go to AA then what you say you are going to do should be followed through, and not say one thing but do the other, as these meetings are for people who have given up the grog for a number of years and talk amongst themselves and then try to help someone stop their drinking, but it's only good if you have definitely decided that you want to stop drinking the alcohol, otherwise it's waste of time.
Your doctor can prescribe medication to help you in stopping the grog, but again this will only work if you really need to give it away, otherwise once again it's a waste of time.
So all of what I have said will only work if you need to or want to stop, and that's an enormous call for you to make.
Even if you just have one drink then you are gone and will end up drunk everytime.
There's a big hole missing in your spare time such as doing something else to occupy your time, something else which is better than getting drunk, but this is where you will help, because it's an addiction which is so hard to quit, and your doctor would be the best place to start.
If they want to put into rehab that's a start but remember it's when you get out that is real the test.
Pleasei'm more than happy to continue this discussion with you. Geoff. x

Yana8216 · ‎13-06-2016

Thank you for your helpful replies. Spoke to hubby last night about my plan to attend AA but he's not comfortable with me attending by myself. I think counselling would be a much better fit for me, I just wanted to take steps towards recovery ASAP as I tend to have a short memory for the impact a bad night has on me. I need to make smarter choices, I keep racking my brains as to why an intelligent person continues to put them self in harms way so regularly. My loneliness and social anxiety certainly play a big part. I do need to shift focus onto some hobbies, a big motivator for me to quit drinking is to have more energy and feel better within myself so that (hopefully) my enthusiasm for life returns.

Geoff, in your experience has making family & friends aware of your desire to stop drinking helped you keep your resolve? I feel I'd be more likely to succeed if I had people to be accountable to.