Hi fish1805,
I'm new too, it's great you've reached out to a caring non-judgmental community.
Your job sounds unreasonably demanding, and it must be such a huge challenge to actually get up and go to work each day, with such a toxic environment with your boss.
My opinion is that no job is worth making you feel so miserable and putting up with abusive behaviour. But the bills don't pay themselves, i know. Is there a union rep you can talk to? Your emotional and mental health is much too important and precious and you are being treated very poorly.
If you really can't afford to leave right now, maybe go with your idea of getting through until after xmas and your holiday and then starting afresh, at least you will be able to see the light at the end if the tunnel. But that is still a couple of months of torture.
If you decide to stay until after your holiday, it's important you take great care of yourself each and every day, and check in with yourself multiple times a day and give yourself a lot of compassion. toxic people and situations can do a lot of damage if we don't take care of ourselves.
In the past when i have HAD to endure toxicity, i have found it helpful to visualise myself in a protective bubble, and the poisonous vibes bouncing off the surface and never getting close to me. Visualising a mirror, like a shield, deflecting the toxic vibes can help too. I hope that doesn't sound strange, but it has helped me before.
I hope you can leave soon and find something that makes you happy.
Kind thoughts to you 😊
