About to explode

[Basboos]

Im not Australian and neither is my husband. He’s been living in Australia for 6 years now. We got married in our country and i moved to Australia. My husband goes to work, coming back home at 6:30ish. During the day im always alone i know no one here and i cant find a job. I deeply miss my family, my friends and my life. I cant cope, i cant get used to living alone. im about to explode out of loneliness. I dont have any power, will or energy to do anything. Everything i do is because i have to not because i want to. This has deeply affected my life and my relationship with my husband. I don’t usually express my feelings so its only translated into anger. Life here is soo much different than it is in my country. I feel lost and helpless and i think im going through depression.

thanks.

[Mathy]

Hi Basboo and welcome to the BB forums 🙂

I’m going to make an assumption here, please don’t be offended if I’m wrong. When you say life is very different here, are you from a non English speaking background?

There are community based organisations and groups that represent the many different ethnic people that live in Australia. Volunteering with these organisations is often a great way of making new friends and keeping connected with your country and culture. Often, this is also a great way to develop skills and find paid employment.

Also, if you have a religious affiliation, there are many religious groups that also have a need for volunteers - many of them run programmes that need volunteers or “op-shops” where they need people to help out.

I hope this helps, please post back if we can offer you more support, all the best, cheers M 🙂

[Croix]

Dear Basboos~

I'm joining Mathy in welcoming you here to the Forum. There are people from all walks of life and many cultures here and there is a great deal of understanding.

Moving to another country is an enormous upheaval, even more so if the language is different, and trying to lead a full life can be very hard. Not surprisingly it affects your relationship with your husband. Under such conditions contact with other people from the same origin, or at least undergoing the same sort of problems can be a real boon.

Having reached the stage of only dong things because you have to and reacting with anger I would suggest you try to tackle the problems, and do so in two ways. You have made a good start by posting here.

The first is to see your GP and set out what has been happening, the sort of life you are leading, and the effect it is having on you. This may take a while so book a long appointment. If you think in a face to face situation you might not express yourself clearly or leave things out then write everything down first and share the paper when you go in.

If you are experiencing depression as you suspect then treatment is the obvious thing to do, trying to go on alone does not work that well.

The second thing is as Mathy suggests. Getting out and volunteering, or joining a social group suitable to your culture, or if you belong to a faith then using the resources of your local church.

To find these resources the library, and the local municipal council normally have lists. Plus of course there is Google.

You may feel lost at the moment, however that is only temporary. Things can get better.

Please talk here as much as you would like and say how you are going, you are very welcome

Croix