A break-up during isolation

[Cthulhu]

I separated from my wife at the beginning of December and shortly after ended up in a relationship with a work colleague who had become my emotional support during that time. Fast-forward to last Tuesday night and they broke up with me via text. Despite the short duration, it was still heartbreaking, but that isn’t the problem. The problem is that my son tested positive for Covid the very next morning (he’s ok). During times of sadness and depression I would normally get out of the house and go for a walk on the beach or something, but I’m stuck in the house for a week’s isolation now and I can feel the depression taking hold. I tried watching Netflix last night, but every second movie I scrolled past was just triggering nostalgic feelings which made my depression worse. I’m at a loss at what to do. How do I control my depression without my usual coping strategy?

[HappyHelper88]

Hello Thanks for sharing
It seems like you have experienced a lot at one time which can be a lot to process at once

Great to hear you have some coping mechanisms and it becomes hard with Covid affecting that
Things you could try at home are mindfulness, meditation and maybe journaling, you can also exercise at home or possibly a good book

If you need someone to talk to please reach out to the BB support service we are available 24/7

I hope this helps

[sbella02]

Hey Cthulhu,

Thank you for sharing your experience, we're glad to have you on our forums. Going through a breakup is difficult enough, but to be broken up with via text is so rough. I'm so sorry to hear that.

I really empathise with what you're saying. I had to isolate back in January, and so did my partner, who I live separately from. We had just begun going through a rough patch in our relationship, and the social separation was so difficult for both of us. I know that video calling my friends helped me out a lot, I even confided in a few of my close friends about the situation and they gave me some great advice. I have several hobbies like painting and reading that I also found helped me cope. These kinds of activities were great distractions, as I was able to completely immerse myself in what I was doing.

Is there an indoor relaxation or exercise activity that you enjoy? You could always search for a Zumba video or yoga tutorial on YouTube, if you feel up to it. They're great indoor activities that can keep you and your mind active.

If you feel comfortable and are able to, you could always try and schedule a Telehealth consult with your GP or a mental health professional about your feelings, as they may be able to offer you some tailored, professional advice.

I hope this is somewhat helpful, please continue to chat with us here if you have more to say or ask.

Take care, SB

[Isabella_]

Hey there,

I'm really glad that you've reached out here.. After all the heaviness that you've been through, being forced to adapt to cope in isolation because of covid is really unfair and difficult. You're in the process of a lot of grief right now and the last thing I'm sure you need is not being able to leave the house, see people, and do the things you normally would to feel better.

Luckily you only need to isolate for a week and I really hope that it flies by for you, and that you're able to adapt to the change for a bit. Maybe figuring out alternatives for feeling better while inside will need some trial and error, and I understand that trying new things and putting effort into feeling better can be a whole lot more difficult when the depression takes hold. Being alone, bored and in the same place as you know can make the loop of depression easier to fall in..

I hope maybe I can suggest some things you might be willing to try, and if you're willing to share some things you think are worth giving a go I'd love to hear them.

You've mentioned that taking walks on the beach is something that helps you when you're feeling depressed.. I know you aren't able to have the scenery of nature during a walk at the moment. How would you feel about doing at home exercise while listening to some music?

Depending on where you are.. Is it possible for you to still go out and get exercise during isolation even if it's just around the neighbourhood, or do you have a front/back yard or porch you can get some fresh air in?

I've found that during lockdown, getting ready for the day as if I were going out was helpful for me in making sure I didn't cycle into any depression or anxiety. Having as much routine as possible and trying to keep busy is helpful, but of course easier said than done.

I hope you're able to be patient with yourself with what you've gone through.. Don't feel pressured to feel a certain way. Feel what you need to, and take care of yourself as much as you can in your circumstances, because it's all you can do.

How have you been feeling today?

I hope to hear from you and I hope you're feeling a bit better today. I'm here for a chat and to listen if and when you need it ❤️