Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[tranzcrybe]

Very aμsing.

Octopus? I've never seen a cat with 8 legs.

Octopi = 8 x 3.14159265359...

[Gonetroppo]

A lady walks into a bar. Says to the barman, I'd like a double entendre please. And the barman says - "Sure, I'll give you one."

A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman - "I'll have a ..................................................... rum and coke please." The barman says "Sure, but why the long pause (paws)."

What can I say!! It's still Wednesday in the USA!

[Croix]

A barman is complaining about all the weird customers he's been getting lately...
Then a half naked man walks in with a huge number 19 tattooed on his body. "There... that's a prime example"

[tranzcrybe]

What's wrong with you people?!? WHENsday!

A barman walks into a temple, bows, takes off his shoes, and .... oh, hang on, that's Brahman. Never mind.

[Ggrand]

Hello everyone...

A panda 🐼 walks into a bar.

He gobbles some beer nuts, then pulls out a pistol, fires it in the air, and heads for the door.

“Hey!” shouts the bartender, but the panda yells back, “I’m a panda. Google me!”

Sure enough, panda: “A tree-climbing mammal with distinct black-and-white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.”

[Gonetroppo]

A guy is standing at the bar watching his favourite football team on the TV. His little dog is sitting on the floor next to him. The guy's team wins and the little dog gets up on his hind legs and dances around in circles barking like crazy. The barman says "That's amazing! What does your dog do when your team loses?" The guy says "He does somersaults." The bartenders says "Wow! How many does he do?" and the guy replies "Well, that depends on how hard I kick him."

[Gonetroppo]

@AG. I'm guessing a one storey house doesn't have stairs unless there is a basement in which case the stairs would be (dare I say it) pink.

[Croix]

Q. Why aren't dogs good dancers?

A. Because they have two left feet!

[Ggrand]

Hello everyone....Happy Wednesday..

Q...What kind of dog does Dracula have?

A...A Bloodhound

[Croix]

Q. What dog has money?

A. A bloodhound, because he is always picking up scents (cents).