Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[Rainbowpython03]

That's so bad it good...lol

[Lost_Girl]

I went into a bookshop and asked the lady at the counter, "Where are the Self Help books?" 

She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

[pipsy]

Okay, I know it's Friday 11/03, but couldn't resist sharing this.  Heard on the radio this morning.  Gorilla walks into a bar, slaps a $20.00 bill down and asks for a large beer.  The barman obliges, takes the $20.00 gives the gorilla $1.00 change.  Nothing said, the gorilla sips his beer in silence.  After a while the barman remarks: we don't get many of your sort in here.  The gorilla replies: yeah, well with beer being $19.00 a pop, you wouldn't, would you?  Happy weekend all.    

[Gruffudd]

An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

[Gruffudd]

What’s red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.

[CMF]

 Not really  joke but I found this funny.

In a hardware store today buying a hammer.  The man working in the store commented that'd hoped the hammer works ok because a woman returned one a few days ago.  She said it didn't work as it didn't hammer the nails in straight  

[Lost_Girl]

If a red haired man starts work in a bakery, does that make him a ginger bread man?

[Gruffudd]

The answer to that can only be revealed on a knead to know basis.

[Lost_Girl]

Ha! Very good Gruffudd

[CMF]

Good one!