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Worst Joke Wednesday

Neil_1
Community Member

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

 

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

 

1,364 Replies 1,364

josh1245
Community Member

What kind of dinosaur has the biggest vocabulary?
A Thesaurus!

eight
Community Member

josh you seem like a kind enough person okay i will never be sorry enough but this was said before. one page ago. april 1st 2020

as a consolation lets go on another language related joke; i don't get why hamlet is so famous. its just one famous saying after another strung together by a moldy old plot.

hellohi
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor
What did the duck say when she bought a lipstick? Put it on my bill!

Paw Prints
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Dear Paw Prints, quite right, have another
What do you call the story of The Three Little Pigs?

OK Mr Walrus, I think you may have the better of me on this one.

I've pondered for a week and the best I have is: The Three Little Pigs

Paws

Sorry, Paws, but I've come across this one before...

It's a pigtail!!!!

josh1245
Community Member
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
I didn't know you could yodel!

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

OK, try another:

If the Wolf from "Three Little Pigs" attended Hogwarts, which house would he be placed in?

hellohi
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor
Croix, I think Huffnpuff, lol

hellohi
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Croix, I love your Three Little Pig jokes, they always make me laugh.

Q: Why did the fisherman put peanut butter into the sea?
A: To go with the jellyfish!

Q: In which school do you learn to make ice cream?
A: Sunday School.

Q: What do you give to a sick lemon?
A: Lemon aid!

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion
Q: How do the three little pigs write secret messages?