Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[eight]

i am loath to kill the dentist theme but i was talking about population pyramids to mum this morning and she said "there's probably going to be a birth rate increase soon" and i told her "in 2033 we'll call the 13-year-olds the quaranteens" but my friends did not find this as funny as i did but also i dont think my mum did either

[Birdy77]

😂

Oh, Eight 😂😂

You are clever.

That was funny.

Thanks 😃

[Croix]

Archaeologist digging in a pyramid in Egypt have found a mummy covered in chocolate and hazelnuts
It's believed it be Pharoaoh Rocher

[Birdy77]

Why did the mummy have to go to the dentist?

No, not because he had too many Pharoaoah Rochers, but because egypt his tooth.

[eight]

in like really late year 7 when i was studying ancient history we had to write this how-to on mummifying corpses and i wrote this 3 page abomination that was just a very tongue in cheek guide listing things like removing the organs, covering it in natron, beautifying the mummy. it sits in my google drive and its titled "MUMMIES FOR DUMMIES: the rosetta stone for the beginner 'balmer" and i still go through it sometimes and think. i will never write anything as good as this again. there is no joke here because its like 1300 words

[Birdy77]

Ok eight, i personally would love to read your Mummies For Dummies - was your teacher 'wrapt' with the content?

I'm not quite sure how to proceed from the mummy side of things without re-recycling some absoluteshockers, and i know I'm a complete pain to hark back to the old dentist jokes, but:

Q: Why did the iPad go to the dentist?
A: He had bluetooth!!!

Ok, now that THAT's over and done with ...
You seem like a writer, eight, so, here we go:



Q: What dinosaur is a writer's best friend?

A: Thesaurus!!

[Croix]

Oh dear, trying to combine dentists and dinosaurs ,umm

What do you call a dinosaur with clean teeth?
A Flossaraptor

OK, I know, no dentist needed in that one.

[PamelaR]

Hi guys!!!

Q. What did the dinosaur eat after the dentist fixed her tooth?

A.... The dentist

[Birdy77]

Welcome back Pammy!

Q. Where do dentists go to retire?

A. Flourida

[eight]

me: sorry, i'm a little deaf, can you repeat that one more time?

the grumpy dude two metres away in a black ski mask and a crowbar, motioning rifling through a wallet: I SAID