Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[madegam]

Lost girl

I first heard that joke as

How does a mathematician solve constipation problems?

Uses a pencil to work it out!

Or have you cleaned it up?

[Gruffudd]

Either way, I suspect it is toilet humour.

[pipsy]

Could be classed as having a loo'd (lewd) sense of humour. Well, I thought it was funny. It is past my bedtime.

[Gruffudd]

We've really hit the skids and it isn't Wednesday yet

[Lost_Girl]

Ahhh that explains it.... my son may have heard and then modified it to make it his own.

What did one maths book say to another?

Don't bother me, I've got my own problems.

[HA1]

Like!

[pipsy]

An 85 year old woman is walking down the street carrying two bags. One bag appears to have a hole in it. $50 notes keep falling out of it. A policeman sees this and stops the woman. He explains she's losing these $50 notes. The woman sighs and says tiredly she's going to have to backtrack to retrieve the notes. The good natured policeman offers to get them for her. He asks her how she came to have them, did she rob a bank or something. The woman tells him the story. It seems she overlooks a golf course. She has a wooden fence with a hole in it. Each time a ball comes into her property via the fence, the men urinate through the hole before retrieving the ball. The woman got fed-up and told the men it was going to cost them $50 each time they urinated. The policeman then asked what was in the other bag. The woman replied 'not all the men paid'.

Lynda

[Gruffudd]

What happened when redbeard the pirate fell into the blue sea... He was marooned.

[Gruffudd]

I told my friend I could make a car out of spaghetti, she was incredibly sceptical.

You should have seen her face when I drove pasta.

ಠ_ಠ

[Gruffudd]

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An Investigator.