Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[Gruffudd]

A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.

[Lost_Girl]

What do you call 10 bunnies marching backwards.?

A receding hairline.

[Gruffudd]

I think I saw those bunnies marching backwards somewhere else 🙂

What happens when you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?

Hot cross bunnies

[Lost_Girl]

ahhhh yes you did Rob in the killerthread. I really like yours haha

[White_Rose]

What's the difference between Noah's Ark and Joan of Arc?

The ark is made of wood and Joan is Maid of Orleans.

[pipsy]

Top marks for originality W.R.

[Gruffudd]

How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb?

2. 🙂

[Gruffudd]

A young couple manage to finally have a child after years of trying. The only problem is that this child was born with only his head.The child lived his life looking out the window at the other kids and by the age of 4 he really wanted to join them. He went to his father and asked, "Father can I go and play with the other kids?" His father looks at his son and says, "I'm sorry son but you dont have a torso, you cant possibly hope to play with the other kids." The boy prays to go before goes to sleep that night, "God please give me a torso so i can play with the other kids." The next day the child woke up with a torso. He screamed for his father, "Daddy, daddy, I grew a torso. Can I play with the other kids now?" The father looked at the boy and said, "I'm sorry son but you dont have any arms, how can you hope to play with the other kids?" The boy again prays before going to sleep that night, "God please give me arms so i can play with the other kids."The next day the child woke up with arms. He screamed for his father. "Daddy, daddy, I grew arms. Can I play with the other kids now?" The father looked at the boy and said, " I'm sorry son but you dont have any legs, how can you hope to play with the other kids?" The boy yet again prays before going to sleep that night, "God please give me legs so i can play with the other kids." The next day the child woke up with legs. He screamed for his father, "Daddy, daddy, I grew legs. Can I play with the other kids now?" The father smiled and said "Of course you can son, just be careful crossing the road." The boy ran across the road and got hit by a bus. ... The moral of this story? Quit while you're a head.

[Gruffudd]

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Because they lactose...

[pipsy]

That gets a 'groan'.