Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[Gruffudd]

What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time...

[Lost_Girl]

Why did the one handed man cross the road?

To get to the second hand shop.

[Moonstruck]

 Why did the chicken go to the seance?

To get to the other side.

[Gruffudd]

Why can't a bicycle stand on its own?

because it is two tired 

[Lost_Girl]

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground Beef

[Simona]

Easter Bunny = Frank Darko

HA

[Gruffudd]

Two cats are swimming across a river. The first is called "One two three" the second is called "Un deux trois." Who makes it across? One two three, because Un deux trois cat sank.

[Gruffudd]

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

Because they are really good at it.

[Lost_Girl]

Why can't you trust an atom?

Because they make up literally everything.

[pipsy]

Hi guys.  Hope no-one gets offended at this.  An Irish priest looks out the window and sees a dead donkey on his front lawn.  Alarmed he rings the local police to report this.  The chief inspector asks the priest if he's close enough to see anything that would indicate who owns the donkey.  The priest replied no.  The priest then asked if someone could come and pick the donkey up.  The chief inspector asks the priest if someone should perform the last rites?  The priest replied, the first thing I do is inform next of kin.

Happy Easter, all.