Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[Gruffudd]

Three tomatoes are walking down the street. A papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. The baby tomato starts falling behind so the papa tomato squishes him and says, “Ketchup.”

[Neil_1]

Ahhh Gruffudd - a Pulp Fiction fan.  🙂

[Gruffudd]

Didja hear the one about that guy who couldn't afford personalized plates, so he went and changed his name to J3L2404?

[Neil_1]

It’s not quite Wednesday, but if I hold off till tomorrow, I’ll forget to do it – or even forget the punch line.

A man goes into a doctor and he’s hurting all over.

Doc, everywhere I touch it hurts – and he progresses to touch his leg (ouch), touches his chest (ouch), touches his nose (ouch) and so on.

The Doc says, I think I know what’s wrong with you – you’ve got a broken finger!

[Simona]

tooth fairy = bone collector

HA

[Simona]

What do you call a hamster between two slices of bread?

A HAMWICH

HA  

[Gruffudd]

My husband asked me if I was having an affair with a woman from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllatysiliogogogoch.

I said: “How can you say such a thing?”

Happy St Davids Day.

[Gruffudd]

What do you call an alligator that reads maps?
A navigator.

[Rainbowpython03]

I was talking to a mates wife about her new nickname; She said "What new Nickname" I said her husband was calling her "Harvey Norman".

She said "Why would he be calling me Harvey Norman"; I said he mentioned "36 months no interest".

[Moonstruck]

 Did you hear the sad story of the baker who was electrocuted in his bakery?

 He stood on a bun and the currant ran up his leg!