Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[White_Rose]

Hmmm!

[Beryl]

Hi gruffudd, well done for spreading giggles with all your jokes.

its not wednesday but its the best i can do so heres my genious sons favourite joke, he came out with this about 7 years ago and still cracks up over it!  (Strange!)

what did the farmer say when he couldnt find his tractor?

A )   Wheres my tractor?

                     Beryl & son!

[Beryl]

Gruffudd said:

I plead Guilty as charged Mary.

It is Wednesday today so...  

Last Christmas We Bought A Fake Christmas Tree

The guy behind the counter said “Are you going to put it up yourself?”

My dad said, “Don’t be disgusting. I’m going to put it in the living room.”

[Gruffudd]

Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.

One boy throws his bag out the window.

Teacher: who just threw that?!

Boy: Me! I’m going home now.

[Gruffudd]

A string and his friends walk into a bar, and the string goes up to get a drink and the bartender says, "We don't serve strings here." So the string ties himself in a loop and does up the top of his head and then goes up to the bar, and the bartender goes, "Uh . . . are you a string?" And the string goes, "No, I'm a frayed knot."

[Gruffudd]

Did you hear about the magic tractor?

It was driving down the road when it suddenly turned into a field...

Happy Wednesday

[Simona]

Karl Lagerfeld = Nosferatu

HA

[Gruffudd]

Why did the traffic light turn red?

Wouldn’t you if you had to change in the middle of the street??

[HelenM]

It's nearly Wednesday and I've remembered a good joke.    

An old man goes to the doctor and asks for viagra so he can take 1/4 a night.   The doctor said,  for optimum performance you'll need to take  a whole tablet.   No,  says the old man,  it's just so I don't pee on my slippers. 

[Gruffudd]

I like that one, advice for my older self...

What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa?

A rebel without a Claus.