Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[Croix]

Why do bagpipers always walk while playing the bagpipes?

They are trying to get away from all the noise.

[Eagle Ray]

What did the politician say when he accidentally trod on his vinyl collection while defending his term in office?

I stand on my record.

[Croix]

I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too many of them get elected.

[Eagle Ray]

A pelican was newly elected to parliament. What did she become known for?

Introducing a large bill.

[Croix]

Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant?

Because he had a big bill!

[Eagle Ray]

What kind of sea creature likes to perform meditative chants?

A Mantra Ray (Manta Ray)

[sbella02]

Why do shrimp often get angry?

They have short tempuras

[Eagle Ray]

A grumpy chef hired some shellfish to work for him. What grumpy command did he yell at them while they were cooking?

Oi Stir!

(It didn’t work very well as shellfish don’t have arms for stirring 🙃).

[Lost-Cause]

I thought that I would throw in another PG whilst I remember. 

A dung beetle walks into a bar andasks if that stool was taken. 

I apologise if these have been previously submitted 

[Lost-Cause]

I have a lot of jokes about unemployment but none of them work..