Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[Eagle Ray]

Sorry for another torturous joke, but another one has come to me, and I have to share it.

Why did Anna the athlete dress in a lizard costume when running in a race?

Because people on the sidelines were always yelling Go-Anna!

[Croix]

Where does a lizard go after it drops its tail?

To the retail store

[Eagle Ray]

What did the lizard say to the inebriated snake?

You're legless.

[mmMekitty]

Where does a fashion-conscious person go when they've no more suits to wear?

To the retailors.

(I like the lizards' retail store better.)

&:

Where does Frankenstein's monster go when in need of spare parts?

The Body Shop 

[Croix]

Dr. Frankenstein entered a bodybuilding competition...

... And discovered that he had seriously misunderstood the objective

[Eagle Ray]

Why did the zoo visitor cause a fracas when she asked where she could barbecue her sausages for a picnic at the zoo?

Because she followed instructions to put them on a gorilla 🦍 (griller).

[Croix]

I missed Wednesday (again:( so have a late offering:

What do you call a line of men waiting for a haircut?

A Barbecue.

What do you call a line of men waiting for a haircut and then stepping back when the door opens…

A receding hair line.

[mmMekitty]

Thanks Croix, but....

What fruit never tells the truth?

A Lieberry

What book about fruit can I borrow?

A Liberry book

[Eagle Ray]

Why was the the zucchini jealous?

Because he wasn’t as cool as a cucumber 🥒😎

[Ggrand]

What did the little cob of corn call his dad?

Pop Corn!