The Transcendent Rainbow Cafe - social space for LGBTI members

[Paul]

It would be so great to have a thread here where we can chat about almost anything. We can have fun, tell jokes, share stories, you name it!

There's a "BB Cafe" thread in the general area where lots of people chat daily and have established some nice light hearted conversations, it's treated as if it's a real cafe, there's even virtual baked goods and coffee!

Let's create a chat here for anyone to join, in particular the GLBTIQ community to let their collective hair down and chill out. It's a safe space to be yourself.

We just need a name 🙂

[Just Sara]

For all of us SN, it doesn't matter who we're with or what we're doing; the only person we can truly count on is ourselves. YOU are the common denominator in every situation and decision you face.

Therefore, knowing yourself is your best asset. If you know you'll choke if someone asks you out, prepare a response. Eg..."Oh how nice! Maybe another time; I'm on the wagon!" and then laugh.

It isn't disrespectful and has a sense of humour to it which may spark a conversation. You don't have to have sex with anyone or even bring it up. It's fine to just talk and have a laugh you know? You're thinking too much about the big picture.

Trial and error; learn and grow. Stay safe; don't venture out of your comfort zone until you're ready. In the meantime, face each moment as it occurs.

Victims of SA have a habit of trying to guess what's coming next; to control the uncontrollable. It's impossible to know how people will respond to us, but we can control how we are in the mix. Do you get what I'm saying?

xoxo

[startingnew]

Thank you! yes that makes sense! im looking into doing some more social stuff to start with too. hopefully an art group(even though ive searched everywhere and theres none!) but i think im at least ready to go out and about to meet people as well- make friends, go out for drinks, laugh etc. with of course staying safe always in mind- thats always in the forefront of everything.

have you (or anyone) got any tips where to look/go/search for something to do? as in more of a social setting? i cant say work as my work is quite isolating in itself so need to have alternative options too. itll be nice to get out of the house

ive been told, you dont know until you try it hey, have to learn somehow. i like the way you humoured that sentence, i had to giggle - im sure there will be plenty of those lol might need to have a few one liners on hand haha 😉

[startingnew]

how are we all anyway? whats the latest gossip??

[Just Sara]

If there's no art group SN, start one! Then you get to create exactly what you want. 🙂

Humour's great for comebacks. (unless it's insulting of course) Years ago in my 20's, I went to a lesbian night club in Sydney with friends and had a ball. I asked women to dance and wasn't knocked back once. One tried to, but I said; "It was presumptuous to ask someone younger and better looking than me anyway" then smiled. She grinned and got up with me.

Small crowds are great to blend in. Tapping into our cheeky, happy-go-lucky fun side can create an enjoyable evening. A bit of courage to ask people if you can join them at their table may also bare fruit.

I thought you lost your job?

Anyway, hope I've helped.

Sez xo

[startingnew]

Oh i hadnt thought of that! Thats a pretty good idea! 😆

I can just imagine you in a bar, all that cheek coming out hehe

Yep youve helped- i dont know why you doubt that.. ❤

i did... im still full time carer but no longer a farmhand. I actually dont know how i kept up in the first place. Now i can focus on other things and want to go back and study too- my builder courses for nursing are up and running again this yr so thinking on enrolling for feb when it starts.

How have you been? Feel like forever since weve caught up in the social light of things.

[inner_strength_]

Hi Just Sara !
haha OH YAY, you are always

Hi Just Sara !

haha, you sweet!!
That's for sure! Realised had been saying that was out of contact and then also that not many had posted!! what has happened?! hope everyone is OKAY!

yes, for sure! it is a relatable circumstance especially trying to catch up and working out where to start!

honestly! was screaming out the window YES, YES YESSSS!!! and then wanted to put something up and did not know what words to use!

haha good fun it should stay HA! in a relationship and long-term in the real world! ha, it is okay! you are very sweet though and am only joking!

Since the beginning of conversing, do not know bits of info about you and others!

Can you guys answer some questions to get a little fun injected and understanding and of course, only if you feel comfotable doing so!

Age?

interests (specific or broad) ?

where you live?

what tv shows you enjoy?

interested !

aww, ow are you doing now? true and do want to feel like everything gives us further understanding. Feel like have the life experience of a thousand people, mature far beyond my years b ut then what is age or what does age represent anyway!? doesn't mean s***!

missed taling too!!

talking soo n yeah? ha! realise as well the number of mistakies* in my post that could be fixed but trying to work on not restarting my words and stressing
argh hope that is cool!

[inner_strength_]

ps. that was crap things to ask! but want to know some things! haha!

[inner_strength_]

Just Sara, was commenting on something that you posted and then was not sure if have the whole idea of what you possibly have experienced but that is a disclaimer to say that was commenting from a ‘myself perspective’ on the ‘attractive blonde woman’ experience from a neutral perspective and of out of respect too!

Without knowing what possibly has previously happened, wanted to offer something light on the matter. As you went from liking to unliking her quickly.. do you think she was domineering? Or perhaps she was or you were highly attracted to her in that moment and the stomach feeling was you getting butterflies with how she looked at you and her presence? Am quite a domineering personality myself and feel like she was possibly flirting considering she mentioned she was single?

Because you went from turned on to turned off and because she opened up to you, perhaps you closed off because you didn’t feel ready, maybe she was too controlling, maybe you didn’t feel good enough (which would be hard to believe) or maybe you have someone else you are attracted to?

Definitely agree with listening to your body though, obviously you know it better than myself. For me, when experience butterflies or the stomach feeling for me, e* is that I’m having feeling feelings ha! Saying though, it sounds like your body was telling you something good too!

[inner_strength_]

Hi

startingnew,

okay and strengthening. Hope to have a stronger answer sooner rather than later.

Thanks for asking, how are you?

Interested more so what gossip you may have?

ha !

[inner_strength_]

hi starting new,

was going to comment a little on what you posted

'was wondering if you guys/gals had any tips. i havent dated another woman ever and if one was to come up, (or in anyones case- same gender as yourself) how do you know if thats really what you want to do? ive had feelings towards another woman before but there was no persual- she was married and straight (i dont like to use that term much at all!)'

firstly, am interested, was it the straight, married or both part that made you discontinue that possible connection? hope you are also okay from that

briefly mentioning, you will most likely know by the sudden drop in your stomach 'butterflies - type feeling' and if it happens that you touch hands or whatever type of subtle touch, that you were about to explode thatis a good sign! honestly, sounds like 'taking the piss' kind of answer but it is the truth

and

honestly, if you are not sure, had experienced a female years ago that really wanted to get with myself and at that time, it was difficult because was on a break from my longest same-sex relationship (have only had same-sex relationships) and wanted to be clear with her and was, that didn't know if it was to turn into anything and really wanted to spend time but was not opening myself up to a relationship. It was difficult and feelings were definitely there but actually, it also wasn't difficult (meant difficult due to other factors) because we really understood each other and what we wanted from the beginning so it was quite natural and how knew that felt atttracted? well, am highly attracted to women.. so for myself, it was being in the same space as her and when she grabbed my hand for the first time, that felt uncontrollable feelings

my point being, this is a brief, and badly worded way of saying that if you feel like you like someone and not sure, really like the idea of being respectful but assertive (is sweet and cute, even if you are not an assertive type) and saying up front that you are interested by them and would not like to lose the opportunity to get to know them and if asking for their name for facebook or their number is too much, saying that (whatever you are at), say a nightclub, 'will you be coming back again next event' or you will . be looking forward to the next night when so-and-so is playing to get an idea if they go along with it.