The Transcendent Rainbow Cafe - social space for LGBTI members

[Paul]

It would be so great to have a thread here where we can chat about almost anything. We can have fun, tell jokes, share stories, you name it!

There's a "BB Cafe" thread in the general area where lots of people chat daily and have established some nice light hearted conversations, it's treated as if it's a real cafe, there's even virtual baked goods and coffee!

Let's create a chat here for anyone to join, in particular the GLBTIQ community to let their collective hair down and chill out. It's a safe space to be yourself.

We just need a name 🙂

[Birdy77]

Hey SN 😊

If you've had feelings for a woman before, and you feel curious now, why not go for it?

Always stay safe of course (gotta say that!).

And if it was me, i would be clear that you're just interested in seeing where it led etc ... that you'd never dated a woman before but have had feelings etc.

Just be your honest self and a good person will respect that.

Your question of how do you know that's what you want, well, you don't really, until you know. But if you give it go, and be open to the magic of life, magic can happen!

Do you have ideas for meeting people eg online or clubs or whatever?

[inner_strength_]

Hi Everyone, ..
would hope to get involved once again as working on not only being a "sometimes friend". we all have those difficult times and had one of those and did go to comment a number of times but didn't know what. figuring it out. DID want to mention though that had felt such a warmth for you guys when same-sex marriage was legalised and at the time, didn't know what to voice and in what way but for those that would want that or have been wanting that, happy for you!

hope you are well!

[startingnew]

Hey birdy
this is really all foreign territory for me esp dating with the same gender. Ive been told you dont know unless you try it right. Theres only a few ways it can go hey and well just adds to the life experiences. I will always try my best to stay safe. Hmm I seem to be old fashioned lol where id prefer to meet people just because I come across them and through circumstances and go about it that way. Gives more of an honest opinion on who they are as a person rather than their 'profile' the only trouble is atm ive really isolated both intentionally and unintentionally so it might be a good time to actually start by getting out there and socialising. Im really weary of dating sites but have heard bot good and bad so its an option.

hi inner strength 🙂

[inner_strength_]

hi startingnew!

[Just Sara]

OMG! It's you...beautiful Eyes!

I've missed the old gang on here. You're a sight for sore eyes hun. Rayne popped in once and said the same as you; '..looked but couldn't write'

You're so gracious thinking about how we got thru the SSM war of words; I was doing the same with you; aren't we a pair? "Giggle.." Dreams are free lovely. 😉 (Wow, I haven't flirted with anyone for a long time. All in good fun)

I'm sorry you've had difficult times; me too as is happens. It's part of the adventure I suppose. We fall down, pick ourselves up, and start over with a little more insight than before.

Sigh; I've missed you.

Talk soon yeah?

Sez xo

[Just Sara]

Welcome Bluebell and Birdy!

It's nice to see more sisters on board, though I do miss our LGBTI brothers. This thread's been quiet for a while without their banter and life's happenings.

Bluebell; you and I have a little in common. Might be nice to chat one day and compare notes. You're sensitive and strong which deserves mentioning ok. 🙂 Welcoming you with open arms.

Birdy; what a force you've become on our BB forum! Dishing out your positive sense of insight, advice and wisdom. Welcome to the Jungle lovely!

Forwarding sticky buns and Kahlua laced Coffee for afternoon tea. The more, the merrier!

Gals rule!!

Sez xo

[Just Sara]

Hey sweet SN;

Getting into the swing of things eh? Good on you! I only have one point of advice...

Please be careful. 'Fools rush in where angels fear to tread' You remember what happened to me? I never want this to happen to you, or anyone for that matter ok.

Be patient and gentle on yourself. Protect and support YOU first! If you feel uneasy, listen to it and distance yourself enough to make a rational decision. Women from sexually traumatic backgrounds need to take it slow.

Life has a way of putting situations in our midst to either test us or provide great opportunities.

I was standing in a line at the hospital canteen when a woman struck up a conversation with me. She was attractive, had blonde hair, blue eyes and was around my age. Anyway, she told me where she worked and said she was single. I got those niggly feelings in my tummy and thought; "Mmm... yummy!"

Even though it was a perfect moment to ask her out, I decided to go home and think about it. I realised those feelings were a sign I was uncomfortable. She talked over me and was quite domineering; not my cup of tea at all.

I hope you understand what I'm saying. Learn to listen to your body, because our minds are fuelled from past habits of response. You're young and have your life ahead of you. One small step at a time ok.

I want you to be happy, but safe as well.

Sez xo

[startingnew]

Thank you for writing such a lovely post! I wish i could write better today but yet again ( its my normal thing atm) ive come up blank. My mh has yet again took a turn making me question everything including myself which means dating too. Damn it! Ill be back hopefully with a better post again thank you ❤

[Just Sara]

Hey again SN;

Knowing you as I do, I'm hopeful by the fact your writing isn't scattered or repetitive. I suspect you're at the stage where decision making is causing concern.

This comes from lack of confidence in yourself and getting better believe it or not. When recovery at last is acknowledged, we create boundaries and small 'rules' for ourselves that set the stage for our future. These take practice and patience to become automatic.

Questioning yourself about decisions and these rules is part of the learning process. It's persistence that's our saving grace. Push on; gently accept and forgive your mistakes as they're the harbingers of positive growth.

Whether you're seeking male or female company, the common denominator is 'you', not them. Don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone now and then either; music, laughter and a few social drinks can be very enjoyable. Contrary to what some of us oldies say; fun isn't wasted on the young.

Learn to trust yourself; you're your best ally hun.

Love Sez xo

[startingnew]

Dear Sez
you have a lot more faith in me that I do myself thats for sure! I can write as well as I want however its not sorting out what I need sorted out in my own head. I remmber when I first came here I had no idea what/when/ who anything about what to say, how to say it and really unaware of every thing. I can admit I have learnt ALOT more than I thought I would but right now I cant work it out. My mh has completely changed and its like relearning it all over again and I dont understand it one bit. I will leave it there, this threads not the place for it.


Going back to your original post-
yes I do remember what happened to you, horrible indeed! I like that quote youve put there. Ive never heard of it but it makes sense.
You said ' if you feel uneasy, listen to it and distance yourself enough to make a rational decision'
that is where the harder part comes in, as you said people with SA in their background need to go slowly however I always seem to be confused about what I should be doing or feeling. Is it company I want.... is it a romatic relationship.... I push people away but want the company- does that make sense?
How do you know with any relationship with whatever gender that your ready for that sort of thing?
I mean ive had feelings towards other women before but how do I know its a romantic relationship I want with them?


Im not sure what you mean by 'the common denominator is 'you' not them'
im stepping out of my comfort zone even asking these questions- this feels really big to me. A good start I believe would be to actually get out in the social scene but I dont know where to start there either.....

and thank you for answering and your patience, time and understanding too while im trying to at least work out these thoughts xoxox