The Transcendent Rainbow Cafe - social space for LGBTI members

[Paul]

It would be so great to have a thread here where we can chat about almost anything. We can have fun, tell jokes, share stories, you name it!

There's a "BB Cafe" thread in the general area where lots of people chat daily and have established some nice light hearted conversations, it's treated as if it's a real cafe, there's even virtual baked goods and coffee!

Let's create a chat here for anyone to join, in particular the GLBTIQ community to let their collective hair down and chill out. It's a safe space to be yourself.

We just need a name 🙂

[MsPurple]

I don't mind someone with a little bit of a potty mouth, but I can't stand it when people are rude. I could never be with someone that is rude to a waitress. I used to be waitress and we are doing our best.

On that note I am still not sure what I am necessarily attracted to. I guess I'm still hesitant regarding relationships. Regardless of gender. I just have no idea what I'm looking for. I'm just trying to be open. Went on a date last night. I don't think I like him in that kinda way but still good to at least put myself out there. I guess I am also still working on myself aand what I want from myself

[cleews]

Just Sara said:

I find beauty holistic.

i agree so much. I'm one of those creeps that smile at a random person on the train, nod and comment on their hair, bag, shirt or something. If I find something is beautiful and pretty, I will say it. It's actually amazing what a simple random compliment like that can do to someone's day.

but I usually reserve that for inanimate objects. People, I kind of classify them as eye candies hehe.

As for attraction, I may like how someone looks, but what really attracts me to someone is their character, personality, which in turn, affects the ease at which I can babble at them non stop. If I am comfortable just blah blah at them for days, then I can say comfortably I am attracted to them 🙂

funnily that ranged from soft spoken guys to really potty mouth soccer players. 🙂

and dogs. I cannot be not attracted to dogs. It's dangerous when there is a dog crossing munch path; I walk into walls and poles and can have an accident.

Chris.

[Just Sara]

Damn! Pressed the post button by accident. I'll have to wait to see if it posts...

Sorry; be back in a bit to finish my rantings...

Sez x

[Just Sara]

Nope...it wasn't the post button. Urgh...I have to write it all again? I have a headache.

Might try again later...

Sez - confusion personified! xo

[MsPurple]

Chris I read the dog thing wrong. Haha. I was thinking I love dogs, if someone has one then I would be more keen then if they don't. Haha. I am more fond of small fluffy dogs but to be honest I like all of them

[SeasideShell]

Hey,
I am new on here so I don’t know if I’m in the right place to ask this question, but I will anyways hahah. So basically I’m bisexual, and I haven't yet come out to anyone as I personally don’t think I’m ready to just yet. Although, I would like to let one of my friends know (my family is very supportive of the LGBTQ+ community, but I usually don’t share many personal things with them because I’m just the sort of person that gets uncomfortable in those situations, and so I would rather not for now) but I have found that I am pretty much just third-wheeling all my friendships (where two of them are best friends and I’m just kind of the friend on the side), and so don’t really know who would be the best person to confide in.

I have an idea of someone, but I don’t see her much throughout every day, she has her own best friend (gosh this sounds so childish!), and she is a bit like me in the sense that she is very Switzerland about issues and tends to try and make both sides happy (and can contradict what she says/believes to different people), so I don’t know whether I can trust her or not (but I don’t really have anyone else). I just feel like telling someone would take some of the load off my chest and make me feel like I’m not going as insane by not telling people.

Does anyone have any recommendations of what I should do/what you would do in this sort of situation? Thanks so much!

[MsPurple]

HI SeasideShell and welcome to the forums. You are in the right place. If you want to go to other LGBT+ threads there is a section called 'sexuality and identity' if you wanted to go there as well.

I am also bisexual. But I am not completely 'out'. My mum, dad, step mum and siblings know, my best friend and new friends in Brisbane (I moved her a year ago, I felt comfortable being open to new friends, plus one was also bi) and I tell my other friends as I see fit. I would rather tell people in person. Plus it isn't too important to me. But like you I needed to tell someone. I told a guy friend first as he was bi and I said, I don't think I just like guys. I then told my bestie a few months later after I had gone on a date with a girl and had butterflies.

What I am saying is, is that it is ok to come out in your own time. I first talked about my sexual confusion 3 years ago when I was seeing a therapist at headspace. He was so casual about it and said I should just be open to love in any form if that's who I am. So I did. Since then I have slowly told people when I was comfortable. I think it is ok to take your time to come out and talk about it. You need to be comfortable with who you tell. It can be hard who to tell first. For me I had a bi friend who I talked to about it, then I talked to my besties. IF you feel comfortable talking to only one of your friends then go for it. You say she is similar to you. I think it sounds like a good person if you are comfortable with discussing it with them 🙂

Hope that helps. Hope to see you on the forums more 🙂

[SeasideShell]

Thanks so much!! It's so nice to be able to be supported like this oh my I wish I had found this place earlier!

I will be seeing her in about a weeks time, so I reckon I will tell her around then. When thinking of coming out, I haven't even considered just telling a few people; I think I feel like coming out means to everyone but this has given me a new way to look at things.

Thanks heaps for the help, have a good night, and I will definitely be on again soon! 🙂

[Lonelydan]

Hello my beautiful perfect darlings, hope you’re all well, my sinus and allergies have been causing me a lot of pain I’m hoping it will rain soon so there won’t be so much dust blowing around. I was glad to hear that over 60% of the postal votes are in. Let’s all hope it’s mostly yes votes. Ms purple and Sara I want to say thank you to you both for keeping this cafe alive and always responding to posters. It’s so hard for me sometimes the words are in my head I just can’t express them but you both say it better I’m learning from you both. Dan xx

[MsPurple]

HI everyone

dan I like coming back here. Full of such lovely people. 🙂 It is an honour to be here. Also I am hoping the same thing. Hopefully people send them back as soon as they get them too. I wonder how all the asking for a new one works. I hate thinking about it

SeasideShell I thought the same thing. My therapist said it is ok to first be comfortable with it yourself (kinda the acceptance of your true self.) then to tell someone you were comfortable with. Then it will be easier to just be more open. I moved away from my home town 7 years ago when I was 19. So unless I came out over facebook, I haven't had that many opportunities to tell them in person. But I have told a most of the people I see most often and my closest friends. I am happy with that. Trust me there is plenty of time and you just need to do it when you feel comfortable, with who you feel comfortable 🙂

I recently re-watched on youtube the Shane Dawson coming out as bisexual video. Still gives me chills. This is the second time I really questioned my true self (first time I was 16). Shortly after this I talked to my therapist (mental health nurse, I sometimes use them interchangeable as he acted more as a therapist) and then decided to be open to dating girls. Since then I have tried to see love in everyone I feel 'attraction' too. It is good to not just burry your feelings or feel guilty about them. It's weird. You can do it subconciously and until someone points it out you may not know why you feel these things. It was like a penny dropped. haha. (old expression but good one)

So random off the topic question. Does anyone know some good shows/movies on netflix? I have been struggling to find something I wanna watch