Your best strategy for anxiety in the moment. Lots of answers please.

[ABC01]

Dear All,

I am asking for how you deal with an active panic/anxiety moment. What is your technique, and can you explain it for me, so I may replicate it when I am in need. They can be at home, but I am also interested in techniques for when I am outside and in public places.

I would like as many answers as possible.

I appreciate any and all of your experience and advice.

Thank you,

ABC01

[Sophie_M]

Hello ABC01,

Thank you for your question around how to manage anxiety and panic in the moment.
This can be really tricky, can’t it? We always like to encourage strategies like mindfulness and meditation as a starting point (Smiling Mind is a great free evidence-based app that you can follow!). However, sometimes accessing our breath can be hard when we're feeling really activated, so this is where we would encourage movement as another option for self-regulation. 

More often than not, our anxiety and panic stick around because we have attached meaning to the feelings in our body, so our thoughts start to compile and take over (which is very human, so we must attend to them with as much compassion as possible!). It can be so, so uncomfortable to sit with these bigger feelings, but avoiding them altogether only makes them feel bigger. So, this is where moving with the feelings can be super helpful.

This can look like:

Shaking the body from your arms to your legs – animals do this in the wild to discharge their stress response (when they realise there is no longer a threat). So, in your case, you might notice an uncomfortable sensation or scary thought and recognise that the threat is perceived, rather than real. This is a great opportunity to shake the stress response out of your body, so it can come back to a state of balance. 

Squeezing and releasing your fists – this does a very similar thing, and you can do it subtly. You could focus on inhaling and exhaling with the squeeze and release too.

A self-hug or gently rubbing your arms/legs – this is a somatic exercise that communicates safety to the body and is a really nurturing way to remind yourself that you can manage big emotions; that your inner adult can be there for your inner child no matter what.

Exercise or yoga – you can follow a video online or keep it simple with some jumping jacks or jogging on the spot. Yoga With Adriene is a particularly healing teacher who has lots of wonderful content on YouTube that you can follow - she really focuses on gently establishing the mind-body connection. 

Intuitive movement/vocalisation – allowing your body to move exactly how it wants to move and vocalising how you’re feeling through words or sounds. You can put on music to do this if you’d like, it often helps to facilitate the process. This works well because it allows your body and emotional self an opportunity to express the underlying feelings that may be driving your anxiety. It’s a beautiful way to build inner trust and give all parts of you permission to be seen, heard, and supported.

*Remember to listen to your body, don’t push yourself beyond what feels safe, and know that you can stop at any time. 

Please let us know how you go! We are always here for you and so are our wonderful online community. 

Good luck ABC01, we hope you feel lighter and brighter very soon. 😊

Warm regards,

Sophie M. 

[BlueLily]

Hi ABC01,

I assume you are more interested in tools to deal with while you are anxious rather than preventative tools.

Personally something that has worked for me is moving my body and arms or even going for a quick walk or doing lunges has helped me get distracted and blood flow going. 

But this is not possible in public so to be honest, so what has worked for me is to talk about it with others around me in a way that I ask their help. For example when I'm about to do a presentation but think I might have a panic attack, I tell colleagues that I'm really anxious due to few reasons that I'm comfortable to talk about. Then they might provide some comforting words or advices that I may be able to rationalise in my head to tone down the anxiety. Or I mention during the presentation that it's an important piece that I put lot of effort in to and that I'm nervous about it already which might get some loughs putting my mind at ease.

Hope these tips help you in some way...

[Rach28]

I find that when im struggling with my anxiety I always allow myself to feel my frustration and if I need to cry. I cry! I find that internalising my anxiety, my frustration and my anger only makes it worse. 

If you have a close friend to you - reach out and find out if they have time to allow you to vent about your feelings and thoughts. Encourage them to just listen to support you - no interjected comments. 

Beyond Blue has an online chat / phone service you can call - they are really amazing! 

Lifeline - online chat / phone service - again amazing service! 

I also recently discovered a self-help app called Finch. I recommend it as it helps me manage and recognise my anxiety. 

I know how you feel and it sucks having anxiety. I find that also breathing exercises help. Recognising objects in the room or around you helps too. Closing your eyes and just simply focusing on slowing your breathing helps too especially when your anxiety consumes you so much. 

Walking is really good - get moving! Listen to music - listen to something that calms you down and makes you relaxed. Again these are just ways i find works for me.  I hope you can find ways to manage your anxiety. 

[ABC01]

Dear All, 

I am having one of those days!

I managed to keep it together until now,but now my jaw is clenching and I feel like I want to scream.

I found some mold on my window, so I had to clean the windows and windowsills. Then I cleaned a mat covered in plastic that the dog bowl is on and it was dirty too.

It doesn’t annoy me to clean them. I would rather be healthy than have the growing remnants of winter on my window.

I am missing my recently passed loved one today and everything is making me see them everywhere. Someone told me something this week that resonates with me. “Their absence makes everything feel incomplete.” And I just feel that so strongly today.

I hate hot days. The blinds outside are pulled down and they plunge the rooms into darkness. They are doing their purpose. But I hate being in the dark,when I know it is light outside. I need light.

Three nights in a row now my sleep has been utter crap. I feel like I am actually suffocating by the time I wake up when my alarm goes off. Maybe my body is locking itself into position and that is why I feel this way. It isn’t relaxing and my dreams are so vivid and I recall everything. I just want some peace.

I am starting to fear sundown and the time before I go to sleep at 11pm-ish. My alarm is set for 8:30am. Sometimes that means I can sleep for 8-10 hours. I don’t need that much sleep. I believe that is enough. And I try so hard to not sleep during the day. I used to be able to nap and feel better for it. Now it is unsatisfying. I used to love sleeping and wanted to be in bed longer. I used to spend this time (sundown and onwards) with the loved one who passed, heavily. It was our time. Now my bed, in bedroom is lonely. If I play a game on a computer or tablet, I am too hyped up to sleep. Music makes me want to cry with all the lyrics. TV is boring and doesn’t grip me anymore. I don’t do crafts anymore. There is no one to give them too. I feel stuck for around 5-6 hours.

And to top off this stellar day, my dog won’t stop licking or biting herself. She has allergies and is treated at the vet for them. But today she just won’t stop. I have to clap my hands to get her to break out of it. Yelling her name has no response anymore. But it is all I have done for the last hour. I don’t want her to keep hurting herself by licking and biting her paws.

Nope. NOW to top of this stellar day, the neighbours have their music on, the bass is now vibrating through my room. Our houses aren’t attached to one another.

ABC01

[Sophie_M]

Hello again ABC01,

It's always lovely hearing from you. You share your most vulnerable feelings and experiences so beautifully. Have you ever thought about writing a book? You’d do so well!

As for what you have discussed... everything you are going through is so understandable. It's more than okay to feel the way you are, please know that. Grief is complex and all of the nuanced emptions that follow can leave us feeling anxious, depressed, angry, helpless, and alone. It sounds like you are managing these feelings to the absolute best of your ability. It must be so painful feeling like your days don't feel full, lively, or connected in the ways that they used to. You deserve to feel joy and passion in your life. It seems like feeling suffocated in your environment is really weigh heavily on you… what would the opposite of suffocation be in this instance? 

Perhaps you could ponder these questions too: What do I really need in this moment of discomfort/dysregulation? What is my body really asking for? What is one thing that might help me get 1% closer that feeling? Or, to a slightly 'lighter' feeling? 

For example, you said you were feeling like you wanted to scream - maybe you could think about what will allow you to release the tension you are feeling? (Screaming into a pillow could actually help here!)

Let us know what comes up for you and what you decide to explore. 😊

Sending hugs!
Sophie M.

 

[_kj]

Hi ABC01,

I'm not sure how helpful it will be for you, but when my sister was having a panic/anxiety moment recently, I squeezed her thigh, arm, and hand. We tried pulsing and one steady squeeze (which she responded to the best) Then I let her tell me when to stop. It really helped. She didn't explain how, but I know she is very big on physical touch. Maybe that's something you can try if you are with someone out and about. Or even just on yourself

[ABC01]

Thank you Sophie M,

The answer to all your questions is my loved one back. But realistically, I know that isn't an option. I am thinking physical pain relief might be an option. In terms of remedial massage. I don't like others touching me, and I have never had a massage. But if I can feel everything all the time in my body, then massage might be the way to go. If it can help me relax in sleep, all the better. Now I just need to see when I can afford it. My vet bill today to sort out my dogs' allergies was high. But she is worth it.

And I might just scream into the pillow too. I had a mental health appointment cancel on me today. But I just finished an online support group session and that allowed me to relieve some of what I needed to today. And I learnt a little more about myself too.

I will have to ponder on these questions a little more.

Thank you for thinking I could write a book. I'm not quite sure about that, but articulating and honestly is something I find important when discussing my issues. I don't have time to waste. And when you are talking about something you love, it should shine through. Because love is beautiful.

Thank-you for your reply Sophie M,

It is much appreciated,

ABC01

[ABC01]

Thank _kj,

That is helpful. Holding someone's hand can ground me. Or at least feel that connection to another person. 

The pulsing and squeeze sounds like a rhythm and then you can focus on it and come out of the panicked moment. So, I think that is a great idea.

Appreciated,

ABC01