Worry worry worry part 2

[white knight]

Hi again,

In part one we dealt with "worry" and how non productive it is except for giving us ulcers. Here I'd like to explore other ways of reducing worry.

Commonly we tend to tackle challenges on our own, many of us don't like passing on responsibilities to others, it causes us to feel we are cheating by getting others to do our work, how realistic is this? Take a factory for example. If two machine operators do the same work but one operator is supplied with a different order that places twice the volume of work onto the operator left. Changes would be needed like overtime or a third operator to work the machine during lunch hour. What I'm suggesting is when workloads are raised there needs to be changes like water finds it own level, so should workload.

This leads to speaking up. Asking for help if you are snowed under with tasks is something you need to consider. Your partner or family members aren't mind readers. They could be lounging watching TV as you sweat over a hot stove, then the dog attacks a cyclist so you are out there chaining him up then your meal burns and you fall on your bed with resentment that "he didnt even help me". Instead "please darling can you tend to the dog, I'm cooking at the moment". Delegation can be so easy yet we dont often do it.

The other mention is prioritizing. Some people are terrible at this. My first wife was a slow worker. She'd take 60 minutes to hang out the washing after I hung it out as I never hung it out "correctly". During that time I'd mind the children and be late for work. Things got way out of proportion and nothing was prioritized. Some people cannot co-ordinate tasks. eg the washing of dirty dishes is priority over mowing the lawn unless rain is close by. Hygiene more important than vanity and so on. If you think your prioritizing is non existent then ask an older person how to change. That not only makes you more efficient but your partner will no longer carry the burden of such absence of planning.

As worry reduces smiling increases. Laughter returns and your heart will not give up early entering your twilight years.

Such steps along with appropriate medication and therapy will get your life back on track.

TonyWK

[quirkywords]

Tony,

Thanks for a well thought out post.

Do you think people can be a natural worrier, I came from a long line of worriers.

I can keep it under control at times but is always there.

I have to plan every detail of my day and when I travel.

Thanks again for a helpful post.

Quirky

[CMF]

sometimes there are things we worry about that others' cant help with.

[white knight]

Thanks for your comments ladies.

There is some things you can do to limit worry.

First identify that it is likely a family trait and you will find it hard to change that. But you can lessen it.

Then find ways to limit it, not have too high expectations of cure.

Third is recognise that a life with less worry tips the see-saw upwards just that little bit and improves your life in other ways.

Channelling things you worry about is what I do. This can be done by venting to a friend or partner. Tell them you are worried about the bills that arrived yesterday unexpectedly. Ask them to go over them and see how you BOTH can remedy the situation. If that fails talk to your bank manager. If that fails do a new budget. Have a garage sale. Talk to a trusted friend as to what they would do. If all that fails do your best and get on with living and review it in two weeks time.

Then there is the write down method. For me a notebook in my pocket does wonders. Writing it down tends to ooze a little worry away. At the end of the day there might be 3 things that worried me. I have dinner and talk with my wife about them. A different perspective does the trick most times.

Say 500 years ago our respective families might well have lived in poverty. That would go for generations and develop worry in the genes, any wonder our personality is so unique. So yes, worry is likely ingerited but serves little purpose. More negatives than positives. I was knicknamed the "worrier" at school at age 12 by a teacher, he told me I got that from my frown on my face. Such was the inbuilt issues that were yet to rise to the surface.

Change of environment is a good short term remedy. If I'm watching TV and not that interested, I walk to the rear of our country property and stare over the large golf course. Amazingly I might see a kangaroo, maggies etc and my thoughts drift away from what I'm worried about. The eyes rule the thoughts.

Most worriers dont have much fun in their life, avoid parties and dancing, singing etc. We are too serious and people tell us that. It's true, by them telling us though doesnt actually do anything. We have to "do" not just think about it and just listen. WE have to be proactive and get out there and let our hair down.

TonyWK