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My anxiety ruins everything

marinadiamond
Community Member

Ive recently been diagnosed with Anxiety and Depression a year ago and since then it has been getting so much worse. It began with me crying every few days but Ive now developed into a completely different person and having panic attacks almost every single day, ive been on medication and I'm seeing a psychologist but nothing seems to be working.

It began after my best friend of 10 years completely broke off contact with me then pretended I didn't exist at school, saying terrible things behind my back and detaching me from our friend group. The only person Ive got is my girlfriend who has helped me through this but I feel like a burden to her and to everyone, I hate the pitying looks I get from people when I cry and I hate that my anxiety stops me from doing what I want to do.

Just recently I was unable to go to my school camp because I was too anxious about it and having panic attacks every day leading up to it. I know that I wouldn't have been able to handle it but now that everyone has gone, including my girlfriend, I feel sad because I couldn't go. My girlfriend tells me to research ways to cope with my anxiety and depression but I don't know what to do and I feel so alone,

The internet says quotes, meditation or eating healthy but none of these sort of things have been working

How can I change my mindset and gain the confidence to be myself?

Thanks

2 Replies 2

Katyonthehamsterwheel
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Love to know the answer to that! I think we all would. Seems I cry all the time at the moment too. I also feel very alone. Mental illness has a way of separating us from people.

I've recently taken up exercise, which has been making me feel good about myself and given me something to do. I also want to look into the benefits of journalling.

Sorry i can't help. But at least by posting here I hope you feel less alone. We're all having similar experiences.

Purple4
Community Member

Hi There

It showed great strength for you to make that post, well done 😀

I am really sorry you feel this way. It sound like you are young (school age) and they can be such cruel times.

Being abandoned by someone you trust is heartbreaking but please remember this, their behaviour shows who they are, it is not a reflection of who you are. I wish someone had of told me this when I was at school. I had very low self esteem and was a loner.

Continue with counselling if you can and ask for ways to help you boost your self esteem. This is so easy to say but very difficult to do. Be proud of who you are as a person. It's unlikely you will ever know why your friend cut you out so all you can do is look after you.

I used to keep a diary /journal when I was a teenager. I would write down my hopes and dreams for the future as well as things that happened daily.

When I got really down I would write my thoughts down, thoughts that I would never dare say aloud and then I would burn the paper so no one else would ever find it.

I hope your days improve and you find your smile again

😀