Worried about my mum - I don’t think she’s well

[Nervybella]

Hi all

So I’m really worried about my mum. I’m not sure where to begin with describing her but bottom line is that I am sure she suffers from some mental health issues but is yet to seek help or be diagnosed.

for context, mum can be the most loving and caring person, but can also be rude and cold to some people. She is both overbearing and a recluse.
her mood swings from happy to sad to irritated.
she can’t just sit and relax.
her money habits are out of control.
she’s impulsive.
can be disorganised and forgetful

this is really starting to put a strain on our relationship and the relationship between my parents too.

I desperately want her to seek help because I truly believe she CAN be helped but she is so defensive and not responsive to my concerns

where Do I go from here?….

best, Bella

[Banksy92]

Hi Nervybella,

Just wondering, how would you feel about maybe writing your mum a letter about how you feel? So you can really take your time to frame everything in a gentle way? You could even ask your dad for help and do it together. Then approaching her with it when she's feeling relaxed and see where it leads...

Just an idea. It's something I have done with my mum in the past which was a helpful step because I get too emotional trying to express myself and it makes it hard to communicate with logic.

[mmMekitty]

Excuse me, Nervybella, but this is to Geoff.

geoff said:

Hello Nervybella, mothers may feel as they have a constitution that may not need attention after having babies and this could be difficult for them to seek medical help.

Geoff.

Could you explain how you intend readers to understand what you are saying? I looked & thought, 'WHAT?!' What on earth does a woman's constitution either before, during or after pregnancy have to do with her ability to accept that she may need to seek medical or psychological advice for herself? What equivalent theory would you suggest would be reason for a man who is a father, as opposed to one who is not, rejecting that he may need to seek medical or psychological advice for themselves?

Maybe it's me, & I just don't understand what you have said. As it stands, it sounds offensive to me, out-of-touch & out-of-date.

I would like to hear your respons before I report your post.

mmMekitty

[David35]

My mum is similar. I live with her and even though I can see issues with her and make suggestions, it just makes things worse (grief counseling for her husbands passing). To make matters worse, she was diagnosed with cancer earlier this year and although it looks like she will be okay, it has taken its toll on both her and myself.

I ended up ringing the Carers SA hotline, 1800 422 737 and have organised some counseling for myself. There's also a website for carers https://www.carerssa.com.au/ which may help.