Working Through Addictions

[demonblaster]

Hi everyone ☺ Welcome aboard...hold on

Being creatures of habit makes addictions mighty to break as many would know.

Good news is we do have it in us to beat the brutes.

There are so many different types which usually have a major negative impact on our lives affecting and hurting those around us creating more anxiety and depression.

I've so far managed to break some including smoking. I've given up full time still have the odd one or packet but won't ever take it up full time again!

Compulsive gambling. 21 yr habit. After 10 + yrs of abstinence had occasional devastating relapses which have been in mania.
This will NEVER be an ongoing problem again! The compulsions not any longer there thank goods.

So far..

• To break a habit we need to create a new one.
Preferably not another addiction 😆

A new habit forms with persistence. By not indulging. Nothing easy tho either is the addictions consequences...but doable.

• Baby steps is one way

• Cold turkey's effective for many but puts tremendous extra stress on. Most people I've spoken with have been successful.

I think addictions are a way of blocking pain by finding a safe place. Survival.

Gambling gave me a bubble of security. I'd zone out.The excitement was phenomenal but devastating consequences. Financial insecurity's no ones pleasure.

We adapt...too well. I built a near unbreakable wall where pain depression guilt sorrow didn't enter my thoughts for the most. An average person would have suffered deep depression and been suicidal. Not a good life.

If only we could use that srength with Mental health (MH).

Thing is survival our strongest tool...it's in us. Learning to redirect it towards recovery.

• Our reasons to give up build our strength. Belief too that in most cases it'll improve our lives.

• Reinforce reasons constantly.

I'm going to write my reasons down and have them in sight and on my bedside table to read repeatedly. As well be thinking why I want to give up

A lifetime habit I'm embarking on.Weight loss. I know I CAN and WILL. I want to feel good again about myself.

A thought is I'll do this like I did with smoking. The craves go each time and there's many. They reduce in time.

Already worked. Resisted about um...🤔 let's see...50 craves yesterday. Feeling better already!

Good luck everyone. Support.

We got this.

The powers in us! ✊

[demonblaster]

Hey Shelly and Kitty thanks for posting here.

Shells whenever you're up to postings fine lovey. Sounds good that you're aware there could be some addictions.

Kitty hun I'll bbs I hope to chat to you too ☺

Anyones welcome not just here but on any threads to post.

⚘

[mmMekitty]

Hello Shelll, ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Recognising there is something we want to change is where we start.

Here for you,

mmMekitty

[demonblaster]

Hey Kitty and readers ☺

Congratulations hun on giving up well 3 things in a way including backing off on coffee.

I'm guessing & hope the anti depressants (AD's) made a good difference for you?
Maybe if your mental health was better less need for other things. Hope so anyway ☺

Life's better I've found and craves do go thank goods. Our minds wander to various thought and distraction helps too till our new good habit sets in.

One of the most effective ways of learning is repetition.
Reinforcing reasons to help give up I thinks a major to getting any sort of resilience happening.
It opposes the nag to keep on with the bad habit.

We live for pleasure and want comfort which is why it's hard giving up which we're better not to be thinking about. Acknowlede it then if we focus on the fact that it usually creates stress and grief not only for us but others around us.
Lifes often easier after.

Some strong reasons for addiction can be unresolved mental health (mh) problems.
It seems like a safe place.
Trouble is it doesn't solve or change situations for the better. Opposite for the most.

We tend to only hear follow and accept our initial negative thoughts which keeps us where we are.

To access rational problem solving ideas by thinking further and listening to our logical mind helps no end.

In the past I've found on rare occasions my minds made up like yours was Kitty it was easier.

I'm determined not to cave in this mh to smokes again! Totally hear you it's the money and debt that's driving me. No life being broke most of the time.

I've been aware of how much we allow our thoughts (the beasty bully within) to talk us into doing it because I'm agreeing that it tastes good I feel good etc and feeling it.

If we don't challenge & redirect our thoughts it's near impossible to think of ways to get around it for a better life.

Thought controls something I believe most of us are able to do.

Intelligence we all have which includes being capable of learning.

We have ability which gives us hope.


Hope gives us reason


Our strengths there


For us to apply.


We got this!


Be back to catch up on early replies ☺


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[Guest_1055]

Thankyou mmMekitty

[Guest_1055]

Hi awesome people.

Slowly reading through this thread DB.

It's food I have an addiction to. Maybe I took the word addiction lightly before. It's the high, the buzz, the temporary "happy "the pleasure (like you said DB) the comfort that certain foods give me. I think it is all mixed up with mental and emotional health.

I like how you said it helps if we have reasons to give up. And leave the list near your bed DB.

I have just got to do this, I am so very sick of it. Like Geoff mentioned. I actually feel angry at myself I think... so very sick of this. I just want out. It feels like I am held in this vice. I can't get out so it makes me angry. I have tried countless times. Got out... only to be snatched up again. Especially worse when I feel sad, alone etc

I want to challenge and re direct my thoughts. But it's all tied up to how I feel. I need to find something else in life that gives me whatever it is I am lacking or needing. Not another "addictive" though. Food is tricky, because you need to eat. And I like cooking and all things to do with it.

I don't have a lot in my life that makes me happy. But eating all the junk ( refined sugar etc) does. Only for a bit. Then I am now finding I need more of it to get the high. 2 blocks of chocolate instead of 1 in a day. I am unable to only have 1 piece and leave the rest for another day. Other people seem to be able to do that.

Think it all stems back from childhood. I am not sure if it is right to blame childhood or not. I never felt loved, felt lonely and alone. I use to like going to relatives to only eat their yummy sweet food. Wished there was a different reason to want to visit. Like maybe a friendly loving connection to the actual people. But I never felt it.

Think we need to change the pathways in our brains... Maybe you were talking a bit about that DB. It's not fully clear to me about all that.

I tend to have a tendency towards shopping as well. Get almost the same "buzz" feeling. I only have a set amount of money. The pull doesn't seem as strong. Like I can say reluctantly no.

[demonblaster]

Hey Shells your post as with everyones input is very appreciated. Hi everyone too

I'm having a good load of thought about all this and yes one of my majors is food too. I should have an award for my food efforts over the yrs 😉

It's often for people over many yrs if not a lifetime of habit to change. I think slow is the easiest approach with weight. True we have to eat. I'd think you're probably on the right track there Shells re from childhood. I think the main cause not to say the only one would be stress and depression because as you mentioned too you poor soul there wasn't much pleasure in your life. How sad hun 🤗 If you're ok with that hug.

If there's not medical or physical reasons for excess weight it seems to be more about pleasure as we've touched on and for sure comfort eating taking our mind off pain/discomfort.

I heard about sugar along the lines of it restricts or lessens the bodies ability to tell us it's had enough food. If that's not right the pleasure it gives is enough to want more.

I feel confident I won't be buying anymore packets of smokes. Maybe the odd single smokes I've been ok to do. The times I relapse are in poor mh which is often and over a few wks mostly. I don't think the other mh probs influence the craves but Bipolar (BP) does. Otherwise I can give up fairly not easily but way less drama in "normal" times. Untold practice I'd say is why which backs up why not to give up on giving up. It gets easier.

So I'm now working on my head to do the food. I've gained 4 of 24 kg's I've lost. Not spiffed but not the end of the world either. I'm trying not to let it take me down. Instead using the negative feelings to help fire me up to lose the rest.

We need to stand up to our inner bullies!

The ultimate bliss bombs are having something better than before.

Eg; Being overweight-losing it- even on the way just a couple of kg is such a buzz. It's Inspiring.

If an addiction puts us in financial strife like they often do, after a while having $ and not having to beg borrow steal or go without in other ways it's unreal

Going from something controlling our lives to us having control. Not being dependent on what creates temporary pleasure but long term pain stress discord

I'll be back Shells and all other good people including people here I haven't yet replied to. Just need to go with the flow atm while thoughts active including motivation and ideas that are rolling ☺

If we WANT to we're more likely to succeed ⚘

[Guest_1055]

You did well to give up smoking and gambling DB... to get out of its clutches. Think one of your reasons such as the money one is a good incentive. Think you may be right...Big bullies addictions feel like. Just grap hold so very tight. Gosh I am so very sick of being in my particular vice.

Thankyou for the hug DB.

And I wonder if only certain types of people tend to have addictions in the first place. No matter what the addiction is. Just a temporary way out of pain. But it sucks us in.

That is great you lost weight... Definitely helps us feel inspired and encouraged to keep going with it. I have put on weight... Can tell by my clothes.

Had sweet craving.. ended up eating medjool dates. At least they have some nutrition in them. But I think it is still an addiction to something sweet.

I have been researching a bit on addictions. I have an ebook called the Pleasure Trap. Might be useful... Not sure yet.

[geoff]

Hello Shell, DB, MMMEkITTY and everyone else, as soon as we aren't feeling well mentally, the first thing we do is reach out to what we're addicted to, believing and quietly hoping that a smoke or a drink of alcohol will 'make' us feel better, so we have another one.

That's the thought that has to be beaten and we have to be able to walk past a bottle shop/pub or a shop that sells any of these to know that our addiction has been beaten and lower our heart rate, in other words, if you see another person drinking, your rate doesn't increase with excitement.

Take care.

Geoff.

[mmMekitty]

Hi everyone,😸

It's so difficult to walk around a corner & not come across a bottle shop, or pub, or where, even more commonly, where food is sold, especially the sweet things, or where you know cigarettes are sold. Just as you might go & gamble at many pubs & clubs around the place. The availability of these products is astounding.

It's so hard to keep saying 'no', when as we know, saying 'yes' feels so much like the thrill of actually putting that addictive thing to your mouth, (or hand to pokie, or preparing to inject). The associations from one decision through each step of the activity ignites those pleasure centres in our heads. That, I think is where the real difficulty lies.

& dealing with people who help you continue an addiction, even making excuses for you, like saying such things like, 'oh, one won't hurt you', or 'it's Melbourne Cup, for...everyone does it', 'gotta be in it to win', 'my treat', 'you deserve it' - we have to learn to recognise these ploys to keep us in with our addictions, I think, because the people saying them don't admit their own (possible) addictions.

Feel free to add your own list of the things people say when they realise you are trying to stop/quit.

I was in hospital for a bit, & had to quit smoking for two weeks before the operation, & I did. I might have quit then if my friends hadn't given me a pack of cigarettes when I was discharged. Friends just being friends, how could I say 'no'?

At the time, their generosity seemed so kind, but now, given what I know about the effects of smoking, it makes me feel rather sick. What sort of thing is this to do to anyone, let alone a friend? I will not give anyone a smoke, or buy them a drink, or anything like that. They want gambling money, they'll have to get it from someone else.

I'd be sorry to lose a friend over it, but I cannot condone giving something which has the potential to do so much harm

But, I have accepted the occasional sweet thing from the bakery or in a cafe, from a friend, who paid for it. Whether it is for my Birthday, or because I've had a rough day, I really wish I could get through to them, & me, that this generosity is not doing me any favours.

All I can do is become more assertive. Be firm, be direct, no joking, giggling, which would undermine my conviction, & they would find a crack in my determination & use it, open it wider, to put that yummy in. AARGH! I think sometimes, I want to choke on it, rather than eat it.

Ditto salty yummies.

mmMekitty