Work place anxiety

[SC1]

Hi I am new to this forum. I want to share my story:

I started a new job 6 weeks ago, I quickly found myself overwhelmed, stressed and struggling.

There is a lot of support in the role, and many other new employees started with me however I quickly became nervous and overwhelmed. I have to admit the role is challenging and we were told it wasn't going to be easy.

I could not stomach breakfast and physically couldn't eat lunch, only eating a piece of fruit during the day. I had this constant sick feeling inside.

During work hours I would count down the minutes to my breaks, lunch and finally the end of the day. My mind felt constantly clouded and I was struggling to process information, constantly feeling nervous and uncomfortable. I worked very hard to keep on top of everything, learning as much as I could but felt I wasn't my normal self. Every evening after work I would count down the hours, worried about going to sleep as a new day would begin.

I have lost close to 6kg in weight from stress and not eating properly, and have constantly felt low in energy and motivation. I had to take sick leave for a couple of days as I wasn't coping mentally and felt completely drained. This only created more nerves for when I returned to work.

In the first weeks, I quit in my mind x10 per day, getting ready to tell my manager was leaving. I decided to speak up and told her how I was feeling. I received amazing support, I thought the stress would subside, but it just escalated as the weeks went by.

The role was a dream job and an opportunity to propel myself into an amazing career. Everyone around me was telling me to stick at it, push through, and never give up. I was questioning my strength, feeling guilt for wanting to give it away, and felt weak. My girlfriend was very supportive, but had to deal with my stress daily, it was affecting our after work time together.

People say you have to push through hard times to reap the rewards of success, I kept pushing myself to stay. Others say you must be happy and I realised my mental health and physical health was suffering.

I was having thoughts of the train crashing on the way to work, without caring about what happened.
It was then I realised what anxiety was, never understanding it even though my girlfriend has experienced it.

I resigned today, and have decided to go to the doctor to clear my mind so I can start fresh.

I thought I would share my story to see if anyone else feels the same.

[Ken1]

Hi Anon7, what a story!

Thanks so much for sharing. Hopefully someone going through something similar will be able to relate to you on this thread. You definitely came to some vital realisations. Dreams will always be there but your mental wellbeing will not. Good on you for looking after yourself!

Many people don't realise that dealing with a mental illness such as anxiety can be very hard work and really requires a great deal of strength.

What do you think your next steps will be, now that you've quit today?

Thanks again for sharing 🙂

Bonnie

[SC1]

Hey, thanks for the reply Bonnie, appreciate your words. And what you said about dreams and mental wellbeing really resonates with me, and has confirmed again that I have made the right choice today so thanks for that.

I have had support from family and friends over these times. But hearing from a complete stranger with no bias is really nice and comforting.

I just want to say it has really been a roller coaster of emotions in the last 6 weeks, after resigning today it feels like a weight has been lifted. I have to admit I feel bloody nervous for what is to come as I will be looking for a new job, but I have been to a doctor and will be going to a psychology session. I always thought I would never get to a point of doing something like this but I think it is the right decision. Although I learnt a lot in my role at work, and will grow from it, I feel there are still scars from the moments I was at my weakest point, so the thought of getting into a new position and feeling similar anxiety and weakness is there. So I think these sessions will help put things in place to prevent that from happening.

I am going to have a week or so to completely rest and recoup.

I never understood what work place stress was until this position. I sent a message this morning to the other newbies that started at the same time as I did, Iand surprisingly 3 of 15 sent me a private message saying they are feeling the same and want to quit. It shows me people hide their emotions in fear of being weak, and I now see what bottling up these emotions can lead to.

So I just want to say if anyone else out there reads this and can relate to this, don't be afraid to speak up if you are feeling defeated, lost, overwhelmed and anxious at work. I realised it is important to give everything your very best shot, as you will push through most things and overcome challenges, but if it really is affecting your mental well being then it's not worth it. Life is too short to be in a place where you can't be yourself, and can't be happy.

I was internalising everything, and thought I was the problem that needed fixing. But it turns out that role just wasn't the best fit for me. I saw my peers around me loving it and thriving in the work environment, I thought I was weak and not as smart/talented/skilled as others, I realised it is still a dream job for someone, just not for me and I can achieve sucess in my field but I just need to find another way to reach my goals.

[BballJ]

Hi Anon7,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

I have dealt with anxiety for around a decade and I can relate to this on many levels. We are always pushed in your lives to just work and work and work, we have expectations of ourselves and land these what you would call dream jobs or a job that can lead you into your dream job but no one ever talks about the stresses and anxiety of having these dream jobs. We are in a constant battle with our peers and the workloads are ever increasing. Some people might say that you have done the wrong thing by quitting and giving up this dream job but I do not agree, if you are not 100% mentally healthy then you will always be under stress. First and foremost in life is looking after yourself, especially your mental health. I actually think you have done one of the most courageous and strongest things you can do... accept the fact this anxiety is not right and you do not want to let your life be consumed by it and are seeking the right help by the way of a doctor and psychologist. I, too never thought I would be the person who would go and see a psychologist but after seeing one I sort of wished I had started earlier when the anxiety was setting in.

My best for you,

Jay

[Ken1]

I'm glad I was able to be of some help! Good to hear you do have supportive people around you, that's definitely important. Your ability to analyse your situation and do what's best for you is admirable. So pleased to read such a positive outlook on a not so great situation! All the best for your future endeavours!