Work Anxiety

[Apollonia]

I made a mistake at work 2 days a go.

I'm due back at work in 2 days time.

I may have sent something containing sensitive information incorrectly.

Is it a dismissals offense, no?

At worst, it gets lost in the mail and there's no tracking of it or it falls into the wrong hands.

I've been sick all weekend. I even took an antidepressant I haven't taken in over a year and it's heightened my paranoia and made me nauseous.

I feel like I've burned a bridge with my direct manager when I was open about how a coworker made me feel. Her approach was that I needed to help myself my self-regulating my emotions and that I was a valued employee and yo carry on with what I'm doing with more positivity.

Of course, my only take away from that I'd that I'm too emotional, overreacting and dramatic.

Part of me wants to address the issue tomorrow, the only part just hopes the mail reaches where it's meant to go and I don't have to think about it again.

But right now...that's all I'm doing thinking of all the could've/would've/should've. I've cancelled plans to go out, I've thrown up, passed out....I know people have made worse mistakes. I know I'm not the most incompetent person on the planet. I know I'm a good person who trues hard and like to help anyone. But once that Self Critic in my head gets feed, I'm trapped in a war with myself. Even if I do get called in and reprimanded - nothing they can say is worse than what's being said in my headrighg now. I just want to rest and cut myself some slack but the self loathing is relentless. I have booked an appt with a psycologist I was seeing post surgery a couple years back but that's not till Sept 4th. On top of all that, we're juggling family issues regarding the appropriate care for elder members in our family. It's just a lot, all at once. And I can't wind down. No mindfulness apps are working. I'm just you wired in panic mode. I hate that I've come as far as I have come...and still recognize the downward spiral. And I'm spiraling....

[blues23]

Hi apollonia

its very hard to say it depends what was in the sensitive email u sent , it depends , it sounds like you are having issues at work Re a coworker & your feelings have been affected, it seems from what you’ve written you have approached your manager for help and they have brushed you off telling you its your fault for having hurt feelings ( this is not right by the way , your allowed to have feelings @ work and address them especially if you’re having issues with a co worker) have you tried going for a walk? sometimes this can help with the panic your experiencing , try calling beyond blue they can give u brief counseling as well. It sounds like your work values you as they say so in what you have written but want you to feel nothing if your feelings are hurt at work by co worker? It’s certainly like they are saying put up & shut up we won’t help u with this co worker, I’ve had this too it’s not helpful to your mental health at all to be dismissed like this , go to your Gp if you have some sick leave use it , if your being bullied ect at work report it to HR & work safe , honestly it’s not worth putting up with it just for a job there are more supportive jobs around than ones that don’t value the employee feeling & want them to be emotionally robots which is very hard to do let alone maintain. 

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

When older (I'm 67yo) you look back on the mistakes you made and realise- yep, they were normal for me being an emotional sensitive person. The same errors would not be made by people that were less so, were more astute and clever etc. But, they were not me, I'm unique like you and the mistakes I made were made by me. It makes me feel now that I compared myself with everyone else and that isnt fair to myself.

The concept that "what's done is done" is only wasted is we dont learn from it and accept the consequences of our errors. If it means you will lose your job then accepting the worse case senario can actually help. In one job I had in security I left out a document that was suppose to be left in a safe, I did the same and worried but luckily the guard that took over from me put it in the safe and didnt tell anyone. He said "we all make mistakes" and proceeded to tell me some of the errors he'd made, much worse than mine.

I hope you feel a little better and remember if you dont make mistakes you cant be human.

TonyWK

[tranzcrybe]

So it sounds like you inserted the wrong address (and recipient?) on a confidential letter.
I know in emails that there is usually a disclaimer advising if what has been sent is not directed at the individual, then they are to disregard it.
Most people are pretty decent and will return (or throw out) the errant letter without a second thought - it happens, and it's just an admin oversight.
But you are tearing yourself up about it, so I would encourage you to clear your conscience and make reparations by contacting your boss without delay. Whatever transpires from there is out of your hands but at least you will have passed the worrying (if any) onto those in charge.
Think carefully about what took place so you can make an accurate account - know the facts before you act - and give yourself some credit for doing the right thing.