Wherever I go panic attacks lurking around every corner

[hann1805]

I can't seem to control my panic attacks. I take AD's to help my chemical balance throughout the day but I can't help but feel on edge all the time. I hide all of this from the people close to me so they don't worry about me all the time. I can't seem to gain control over my panic attacks. Some of them so severe that I just break down in tears in the shower so nobody can hear me. I try everything I can to calm myself down but they still get worse. The only times I only really let them get to me is when I'm completely alone, either from work in the car or in the shower like I said before.

I am the sole provider for my partner and myself. I live with him at his parents place because I can't afford our own place. I'm studying for my diploma online as well as working part time. So my stress is mostly financial, I can't stick to budgets because no matter how hard I try I can't seem to make my money last.

I've seen a doctor about these attacks and I did get a mental health plan set out for me but because my schedule's been so busy I haven't been able to set an appointment yet. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm so stressed and tired I just can't take much longer of this.  

[Chloekat84]

Hi hann1805. I feel really bad for you and wish u didnt have to go through these horrible panic attacks. I know what they are like and they are not fun i know 😞 Dont worry u will get the help u need. U should soon get a phone call or letter or your GP will tell u that u have an appointment with a psychologist. Depending on how bad ur symptoms are u may be referred to see a psychiatrist which may take longer. I really hope u can get through this tough time. Im here if u need to chat. Take Care x

[hann1805]

Hi Chloekat. 

It really is horrible. I have to see my GP this week because I've been on my AD's for about 2 weeks now. So I'll talk to them about it all. Then try to make an appointment with a psychologist when I can get some free time. 

I get scared of asking for help because I don't want people to judge me. 

[AGrace]

Hi Hann,

Welcome to the forums. I hope here you won't feel like you need to hide your feelings. Feel free to vent whenever you need to. There will always be someone here to listen, and hopefully we can provide you some support too.

I can completely empathise with how difficult panic attacks can be. They often make us feel like we're losing control of things. It's tough too when you feel like you can't share with everyone the depths of what you're experiencing.

I wanted to ask, is there a reason why your partner doesn't work? Is this also causing you stress?

Are you and your boyfriend receiving any eligible government benefits? I know it's not always much but you may as well get what you're entitled to, if anything.

I understand your schedule is busy, but your health is so important. To be able to speak with a professional would be so beneficial for you so that they can go through some coping strategies to help you manage the attacks a bit better. I hope you won't put this off too much longer.

What are you studying at the moment? Are you finding study and work a bit much? Are you able to take some time away from your studies just to get things a bit more stable?

You mentioned that you were prescribed antidepressants. Did your Dr also talk with you about taking an antipsychotic? These are used as mood stabilisers, so can be quite effective for anxiety. The ADs more so act to keep the happy hormones at an adequate level. The Dr should also be able to prescribe you some relaxants (we can't mention names), these you could take when the panic attacks occur.

There are some techniques you can try in the short term, these have been useful for me:

Mindfulness - google Tara Brach, she has a CD for download, and no doubt some youtube clips.

Meditation - 8 minutes to calm is the name of the guided muscle relaxation I use, which is available on youtube.

Distraction - Trying to think of something else just to ride the wave of panic. Art, a shower/bath, reading, writing, walking, watching some comedies.

I hope we will hear back from you. 

AGrace

[Chloekat84]

Hey Hann1805. Dont worry about others judging you. They are too busy judging themselves. Thats one thing ive learnt and thats not to care what others think as everyone has their own issues and worries that they are too busy to worry about you. I hope your coping better today. Today was a better day today i got out of the house and met up with a mate i havent seen in a while and met her new baby which was gorgeous. Think positive thoughts. Take care 🙂 x

[hann1805]

Hi AGrace

He's not working because his last position made him redundant and hasn't been able to find another job since. But there's something hopefully coming up for him this week. We can't get government benefits because he still comes under "his parents care" so his parents earn too much for him to get benefits. 

I'm studying Management, and because it's online I can choose when I do it. 

Yeah they did prescribe me an antipsychotic but I don't feel comfortable taking it. 

I try to not let it get to me but it still does. 

[Chloekat84]

Trust me its good ur on an anti psychotic as it will stabilize your mood more. It shouldnt take long to take effect.