where to start from??

hope2015 · ‎19-07-2015

seriously have no idea where to begin. i have had anxiety for majority of my life, and it has gradually gotten worse. ive gone from being able to control it, (and actually leave the house like a normal person) to now most days not wanting to leave the house, and if i do need to leave the house i will have anxiety. I believe that my husband doesnt help the situation. i have a 8 month old bub, i have noticed more so that since having bub ive been home and not wanting to leave the house unless i need to go an see the gp for either bub or myself. I have since seen my gp who i had a pretty good chat with and dr has prescribed medication for me. i have 2 types, both of which have side effects and upon reading the side effects of both i gave myself an anxiety attack. i feel trapped sometimes. DH attempts to be supportive but also puts me down when arguing which doesnt help me on my end, if he is with me while im having a panic attack he does this frustration Huff and puff at me and anxiety goes through the roof... I dont know what to do, i have seen a psychologist in the past. ive tried breathing techniques, meditation gives me anxiety. (when i get anxiety- my heart feels like its going to jump out of my chest, i cant think straight, i get sweaty, shortness of breath, the occasional vomit, but i always have a bowel movement can be up to 8times a day *sorry for the TMI*) i know i need help, just dont know where to start. i feel overwhelmed. this post probably doesnt make sense. 😞

Doolhof · ‎20-07-2015

Hi Hope,

Your post does make sense and it certainly sounds like you need to talk to your Dr. more about how you are feeling and not coping at present.

Not to make light of your problems, but I think that for any one with a health issue, reading about the side effects of medication can almost cause an anxiety attack if we consider all that is written there.

Yes, some medication does cause ill effects in some people, but that does not mean that you are going to cop everything that it says on that description of side effects. I guess the drug companies just need to be accountable.

Thanks for sharing your story with us and welcome to Beyond Blue by the way. You have made a big step in asking for help.

There are lots of posts here about anxiety. There is information as well under the resource section, you may find that helpful to look at.

The more I understand a problem, the easier I find it is to handle.

If I was you, I would return to your Dr and discuss your concerns with the medication. Also ask for an appointment with another psychologist if you think that might help. Have you tried using some of the phone help lines like the one here at Beyond Blue? Or you could use the web chat after 3.00 p.m. That has helped me in the past.

Hopefully others will offer some advice and tips on how to help control your anxiety. I find that doing something physical helps me but that is not always possible.

You have made a start here to explain how you feel. This is a safe place to share more if you want to.

Cheers for now from Lauren

geoff · ‎20-07-2015

dear Hope, great for you to post a comment to the forum.

Firstly are you or do you want to change your doctor, and there are doctors who specialise in depression/anxiety, and these can be found by clicking on 'Get Support' and these professionals are aligned to BB.

No doctor should chastise you no matter how you feel and I don't really believe that this current doctor is looking after you, so please have a think about this.

Can I ask you if you feel a bit depressed as well, and I only say this because your baby is 8 months old, and whether you maybe having some symptoms of PND, and please excuse me if I'm way off track here, but I still believe that you need a doctor you can talk to without any criticism, plus your husband doesn't seem to be support for you, which is always a worry.

Love to hear back from you. L Geoff. x

hope2015 · ‎30-07-2015

Thank you for getting back to me Geoff and Lauren. i havent had a chance to write back- i will be looking in to seeing another gp, will have a look at the "get support".

No not depressed, well i dont think i am, I dont get much sleep these days as bub wakes through the night and most nights we are up for 3-4 hours then sleep for 2-3hours. It could be possible but im not really sure on the signs depression.. baby is what makes me look forward to the day, seeing bub smile fills my heart with an unexplainable joy/love.. and my dogs and cat give me lots of cuddles. Just having problems leaving the house at the moment. i have tried to do a structured problem solving, that i found paper work from old psychologist- i just dont think we clicked, she kinda helped me in the past with social anxiety and being in public but when i have gone to see her on and off- i kinda felt she rushed the sessions and wasnt paying attention.. but i will look into getting a new counsellor/psychologist.

I have attempted to leave the house but just the thought of it makes me anxious. I went for a walk up the street so i wasnt to far from my home. I just dont know where this has come from- Ive always suffered from anxiety but have always been able to deal with it- but now i feel like i cant handle it. It is ruining my life to a degree. Its taking over me. It's annoying. Some days are a little easier and other days i make myself busy just to not think about it... Anyways, Thank you again for the support.

Doolhof · ‎30-07-2015

Hi Hope,

It certainly sounds like you are trying to get out of the house, just going for a walk is a huge step for you.

Do you have someone you can go for a walk with? Sometimes company and a bit of encouragement goes a long way.

I would ask your Dr for a new person to chat with or see if you can find someone yourself. It all depends where you live I guess as to how easy that is to achieve.

Are you involved in a Mother's and Babies group? Do you know if there are any in your region? That might help you to get out of the house. Or even a play group.

I hope you are able to slowly venture out, even if it is just for a few minutes each time to help build up your confidence.

Thanks for getting back to us on how you are going.

Cheers for now from Lauren

BKYTH · ‎30-07-2015

Yes it is very frustrating when your life is one of constant anxiety. I had Agoraphobia for years, and at the risk of sounding self indulgent, my life was a living hell. You mentioned you've tried breathing techniques. I think the purpose of these is to stop you from hyperventilating which leads to a panic attack. I think meditation would not be of any use to you at this stage, as you have found through experience. I remember attempting to do relaxation sessions before I went out and found it impossible to derive any benefit from them. In those days you were also advised to carry affirmation cards to recite when things got difficult but I equally found them to be unhelpful. Geoff mentioned GPs who specialize in depression/anxiety I think seeing one of them would be of great benefit - I wish they had existed 20yrs ago when all that was of any real use were benzodiazepines with cases of severe agoraphobia which I was experiencing - Your letter reminds me of those days. In my experience anxiety is often trivialized as a condition without those who do so having the slightest comprehension of just how debilitating a condition it can be. It would be worth following Geoffs suggestion in determining whether or not you are experiencing symptoms of depression. The more aware that you are of what is going on the easier it is to deal with the situation. See a different Psychologist if you feel the one you saw in the past was very helpful. My salvation, and believe me that is not too grandiose a word to use, for the crippling anxiety I lived with for years came in the form of an antidepressant that I heard being discussed on a TV program. The program was about the growing awareness in the medical community of the value of some antidepressants in treating anxiety. My skeptical GP prescribed the medication for me telling me it would not help. He was wrong. I would talk to your GP, or if you feel it would be better, another GP about other medications. Philip.

Mindful_bubbles · ‎30-07-2015

I started out by seeing my gp who referred me to a great psychologist. I didn't understand for such a long time that what I was experiencing was anxiety. I tried several medications before I found one that took the edge off my anxiety. I now do yoga and keep regular appointments for talk therapy. Colouring in books seem to be a good way to relax as well. My psych gave me some really good calming techniques. That might be a good place to start for you. Sleepless nights and a new bub will make it harder, but hang in there!i hope you get the support to help you through

hope2015 · ‎03-11-2015

Hi everyone.

It has been little while since i wrote on here, thought i would post an update. i have been taking a very low dose of antidepressant medication. which has helped me to leave the house. Slowly its helping me, i havent been anxious with just being at home and not even leaving the place i would get anxiety attacks...But I now go for walks at least twice a day with baby in the pram. unless the weather isnt good. I have looked into joining a mothers group but havent found one as yet where i feel comfortable. Yesterday was the first time in a year that i went to my local shopping centre. But i have had a set back today... 😞 i had to go and pick up a family member who's car had broken down in the next suburb approximately around 12 mins away from home. I wasnt alone i had my adult cousin with me and my son (who is turning 1 soon). i kept telling myself i was going to be ok, like yesterday but i cant seem to control my anxiety attacks. i started feeling like my whole body was burning hot from head to toe, i tried my breathing, opening the windows for fresh air, changing the radio station, nothing seemed to work. I ended up turning the car around to go home so i could use the toilet. and the same sensation of the burning tingly throughout my body was taking over. i then started getting the shakes in my hands. i re attempted to pick up my aunt from where she stranded. but it was such a mission. Its hard for them to understand what i am feeling. when i finally got home with my son i balled my eyes out crying cause i felt embarrassed and like a failure, like i cant do this. I really dislike having anxiety, It takes a toll on me and my life. im having a bad day. i wouldnt wish this upon my worst enemy- its something that family try to understand but cant because they either dont have it or they can control it. I wish i didnt have anxiety. i keep telling myself that it was just a bad day. and we have good days and bad days. Am just so frustrated and disappointed with myself. Hubby has been alot better with support.

Thank you for the support above- much appreciated.

BKYTH · ‎03-11-2015

Perhaps an increase in the dosage of the medication would be useful but if you haven't been on it for long your GP will have to give the present dosage time to achieve its maximum effect. Other people can't understand why a person experiencing anxiety has such difficulty in doing the most ordinary of things unless they have had to deal with or are dealing with it themselves. Of course I'm not talking about the general anxiety that is just a part of life but the more severe forms that you describe. That is not their fault and they can experience frustration when someone close to them has such difficulties. I am not addicted to gambling and cannot understand why some people are compulsively drawn to it just as a social drinker could not understand my alcoholism and my compulsion to drink excessively. Have you followed up on the suggestions made by geoff as they sound good avenues to pursue? Perhaps it would be worth reflecting on whether there were events that preceded you having a 'bad day'. If you are able to identify any that will give you some insight into what triggered it. Anxiety is such an individual thing and any advise is worth trying. I know what you mean when you say that you "wouldn't wish it upon your worst enemy". When I reflect on the physical toll that my severe agoraphobia exacted upon me I know that at age 62 I would no longer have the physical resources to deal with it. Perhaps you could discuss with your GP the possibility of being prescribed a low dose of a minor tranquilizer which you can use only when necessary. When I was doing inpatient treatment at a hospital for people with severe agoraphobia we went on outings into the community which over time grew more and more challenging. When we did so we were given an appropriate dose of a minor tranquilizer to take with us to be used only if necessary. I found that having the medication as a backup helped me to confront these situations in a more relaxed fashion. As a result only on a few occasions did I find it necessary to resort to taking it. That in itself does not provide a solution to the situation but is helpful while other avenues are explored. Philip.

Dwwmills · ‎05-11-2015

Hello Hope.

It’s good to see that you’ve come back to the forum. It’s
always good to see how people are getting on.

You may not realise it but you sound far more positive now
than you did a few months ago. It can be a very slow process and it’s hard to
see the progress when you’re in the midst of it. You should feel very good
about the progress you have made. The real encouraging thing for me is that you’re
still tackling this 5 months on. This takes guts and determination good onya.

From my experience with anxiety you have good days and you
have bad days. The trick is not to focus on the bad days because you WILL have
them. Sometimes you can learn from them, e.g. you can find what triggered it,
what you’re thought process was leading up to it, whether you are just physically
or mentally tired. Being tired is a big trigger for me. I get anxious, I stay
up late, I get more tired, I can’t cope with things as well, I become more
anxious. Great circle, and you can hop on to it at any stage.

Glad to see that you’re getting some benefit from the
medication. This was a turning point for me. I resisted it for years. The
medication slowed up the racing thoughts and allowed me to do some affective
cognitive-based therapy.

As I said earlier you sound much more positive than you did
before. It’s a long-term game so stick at it.

Best wishes

Dean