When to give up struggling with something and when to push through?

[elsewhere]

I couldn't decide which forum to post this in as it's as much depression as anxiety, but it's def both and I landed here so...

My mental health has taken a battering this year as has most people's. I've had anxity and depression for ages but I'm at a new, extremely low point where I just can't.... do anything. I can't get started on work or study, brain just turns to foggy quicksand mush and I'm so behind and overwhelmed that I'm in fear of losing my job and failing my course. I'm seeing a psych occasionally and we talk strategies for getting started but when it comes to it I don't have anything left to implement them, I'm just.... out of it. And then cue panic, then exhaustion, then depression, rinse and repeat. I'm finding it takes everything I've got to take just one simple step towards self care, like eating a meal. So I need to do that, but there's nothing left over to do anything else. Like the work and study I need to do to keep my life going.

Today I'm thinking, this is really, really not a good place. Like I'm just actually really unwell and getting worse. The only thing I can imagine helping at this point is to just... stop for a while, quit my course and take time off my job. This would be horrific for me as I've spent 5 years battling through this course (thanks anxiety) and I am SO close to finishing. I think 'I just cannot give up now'. I'm scared I won't get my job back if I take time off. But I literally can't seem to make myself do anything but stare at the walls. I can't see any way to get through it. I have people I can talk to but it doesn't help in making me do the work I need to do. It's just more exhausting than anything talking about it. I'm scared about how much worse I feel lately, how non-functional I've become in the last few months, and even with strategies and help I'm struggling to get out.

How do you know when it is time to just follow the urge to take time out and stop for a few months, and when to push through? I'm scared I'm going to push myself too far and get even worse, just incapable of doing anything. But I'm just as scared of ruining my life by quitting. And I've been thinking this for months now. How the hell do I decide the right move? I feel at the end of my rope but I like I have to push on, but I can't. When is it ok to give up for a while to heal? How do you know?

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I'm in a busy period atm, so I'll leave you with a few threads that might help.

Please Google and read the first post of each

Beyondblue topic anxiety, how I eliminated it

Beyondblue topic 30 minutes can change your life

Beyondblue topic the timing of motivation

Beyondblue topic worry worry worry

Beyondblue topic never ever give up.

Repost anytime
TonyWK

[therising]

Hi elsewhere

I feel for you so much at this point where everything feels so overwhelming. You do sound completely exhausted. Getting a feel for what's right for us can be pretty tough, especially when exhaustion takes over and we're left feeling very little. It can get seriously challenging when we take a little time out only to realise 'I'm so far behind now. I need to catch up'. Enter...anxiety. Then you're really feeling, the kind of physical feelings that can go hand in hand with mental hyperactivity/stress. Time management can then become like a torturous obsession.

Do you feel like you're working up to something? Can you feel things gradually getting worse, in the way of both mental and physical health? From experience, I believe we have an ability to feel stress graduating toward overwhelming us. Typically, we're conditioned to write the subtle feelings off and tell our self to 'toughen up and get on with things'. In some ways, the 'toughen up' mental program can switch us off from what our body is calling us to do and that is - manage differently or take a significant break (not a tiny one) in order to reform our self mentally and physically. Chronically fatiguing the systems in our body through stress definitely has a down side.

Wondering if there are any study options in place, so as to help those who have been struggling through COVID this year. You could ask 'Do you have any management plans in place for a student who must take sick leave from study?' Also wondering if you have any sick leave or holiday leave up your sleeve regarding your job. Do you work the type of job where you can phone up and say 'I'm unwell. I won't be coming into work this week'? Can you stretch that week out to a few weeks? If an employee is unwell, they are unwell and that's the end of the story, basically. You don't have to tell your boss what is leading you to feel unwell. Speaking to a reasonable GP in order to get a sick leave certificate, explaining you don't want any reflection of mental health issues on the certificate should get you a reasonable result from that doctor. While you're at it, can't hurt to run some blood tests (iron, B12 etc)

There is only so much dis-ease or unease our body can tolerate until it begins to really protest. Cue disease. If you get a sense that you really need the break, trust this sense. Trust your feelings. Our body's far more intelligent than what we give it credit for. Pays to really tune into it.

Wishing you only the best 🙂

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hey elsewhere

I've been studying while living with mental illness, and it does take it's toll. We can only endure so long before we just need a time out. I'm lucky I'm on break now, but I did need to get a medical certificate and take a breather week, and also get extensions on my assignments, or I wouldn't have finished. Do you get a break period? It doesn't sound that way. I think therising has given sound advice (as ever). Check what your options are, and go from there. And please be gentle with yourself, you're doing the best you can.

Katy