unsure of anxiety

[claudia]

I was put on a medication for anxiety about a year ago when I was 16 i take it every day and its a continuous routine. The psychiatrist never told me why I should go on it. I don't even know why i'm on it, I think i'm depressed rather than anxious. Or maybe both. I dont know weather I'm just feeling sorry for myself or not. I feel selfish when I realise that other's lives are in a much worst state than my own. I don't know many people that feel a similar sense of what I'm feeling. Going through my half Yearly yr 12 exams at the moment, I feel worthless and cant really be bothered to sit down and study. I get upset easily my the smallest things. I'm over sensitive and my friends call me a drama queen. My mother doesn't understand me even though she says she does. I quite often seek attention as my parents are always directing it towards my other siblings. I know a minimal number of people that know how I'm feeling. I've stopped seeing my psychologist for about 2 months now as I found her too challenging and questioned my logic, also not understanding me. I don;t believe in paying a stranger $100 an hr to be paid to listen to how you feel when they're probably living mediocre lives. The doctors think that medicine solves everything.  

[Damien]

Hello Claudia.

I like that you're trying to identify what is actually going on with you, is it Depression or is it Anxiety?  Whatever it is you know it isn't "normal 17 year old girl stuff" and that's a good call.  When I was trying to work it out for me I asked a simple question, when I "feel" do I feel sad, or do I feel scared?  Sad = Dep., Scared = Anx.  Okay so that's hardly rocket science but it's a start, and from how you've described it I'd be inclined to agree with you that it's probably a little of each anyway.  (That's often how it works too, especially when you "start" getting sick.)

I'm sorry to hear that your Psych didn't explain things to you fully.  I don't want to sound like a patronizing adult, but I work in a high school as a counselling type person, (not "a counsellor", but in that area) and I know that 16-17-18-+ are pretty cluey, you don't need to "not tell the child" because "the child" is not a "child".  So, sorry you were left out of the loop there, that should not have happened.

As someone who experiences Anxiety (I refuse to "suffer", I "experience") I know that medicine doesn't solve everything, but it is an important part of the answer.  If you're not seeing your Psych any more, and for good reason it seems, I'd still suggest (if you'll allow it) that you find someone you can talk to.  Even a girlfriend if it can't be mum or sister (or dad/brother), but having someone to talk to is great, even if they just cop it and don't offer advice or "on the other hand".  If you can challenge your negative thinking that's great, and hopefully your Psych will have taught you some CBT on one of those $100 visits; but it can be frustrating if someone else tries to talk you out of it, especially if they "don't understand", and many people don't.

BTW, "unsure of anxiety", great title,  LOL!!!

It actually sounds to me you're pretty much on the ball.  Annoyed at the whole situation for sure, but you know what's going on. If you are on medication then stick with it, but above all find mates...one is great, three is awesome, more than that is just gossip and you don't need that.

Thanks for sharing your story, I hope it's an encouragement to others even to know they're not alone.  Like you're not alone, even if only on a forum. 

🙂