Uncomfortable with feeling okay

[Alel]

I've recently been diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression as well as agoraphobia. I've also been dealing with my fear of vomiting, fainting and sometimes weather ever since I was young.

I'm only on my 2nd week of my meds and i still feel on edge or low sometimes. But most of the time, I feel relaxed and okay. 

The thing is tho, I don't know what to do with this feeling? Because when I'm anxious or depressed, I have steps and practices to do. But when I'm happy, I just have to live? Why is it so weird to me?

I don't know what to do. Even tho I feel better, I don't see the appeal of going out, doing a hobby or going for a little walk even. I'm just sitting on my phone. All day.

I know meds takes a while to actually work, I don't know how it feels for meds to fully work as I was never got to that point with my last mess. So I'm still quite scared of what's to come before it works or if it actually works.

I'm also afraid that I'll never overcomle my fears as I can't get myself to face them.

As well as accepting I have a chemical imbalance. It just makes me feel broken knowing I'll deal with anxiety and depression for the rest of my life. It just seems like such an exhausting and terrifying life.

I also got alot of bad things going on in life, but luckily not too bad. I have to work on finding a life for myself and getting over my past. 

There's just so much, which is quite overwhelming, and being uncomfortable with feeling okay is just pushing me back. I want to make progress but now I have to get comfortable with it? 

[CheaB]

Hi Alel,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings, it is amazing to see how you are working towards improving your mental well-being and do remember that you always have our community's support.

I read something very interesting recently - when you go shopping for a chair, you inspect many chairs to assess the most appropriate option. Factors such as size, colour, height, width, how it impacts your posture, comfort and a lot more, are to be considered. Often you sit on multiple chairs to assess and sometimes you end up going to multiple stores to find the right option for you! For you, It is crucial to remember that you will find medication that suits you best and allows you to contribute positively to your mental health. I do hope that the medication you are currently taking is effective.

It is important to remember that is a gradual process, I find it so inspiring to see your determination and strength to ensure you contribute positively to your mental health. Medication is supposed to assist you in protecting your wellbeing, however, you should implement coping strategies to ensure that your mind is able to adjust to the new emotions that you are experiencing. Working towards building a habit can allow you to be more mindful and relaxed. Reading a few pages from a book, breathing exercises, writing a few lines about how you are feeling, meditation or maybe even listening to some peaceful music can allow you to familiarise your mind with your new feelings. An activity within your household will enable you to focus on your mind if you are feeling unsettled with emotions of relaxation and peace.

I think it is completely fair to be uncertain about the new feelings that you are experiencing, giving it time and working towards focusing your mind will allow you to overcome this unfamiliarity. Please remember to reward yourself on your small achievements to the long-term goal of contributing positively to your mental health.

I hope this helps!

Take care,

Sarea.

[Basilboy]

Hi Alel,

I am a first time poster and this is my first reply. 

I resonated with your post. 

I am not sure how to feel OK, either.

I was chatting with my husband a few days ago and said to him I'm scared to feel OK because I don't think I've ever felt ok/happy consistently.

If I look back, I would search for those feelings of anxiety and depression because that is all I have ever known, it's like those feelings are my normal. I have just started medication and I'm not sure if I can feel it working already but I do feel better. I'm able to sit with the uncomfortable and ask those thoughts and feelings to move on. 

I have just found an amazing psychologist and we are unpacking this, so I don't have any advice I'm sorry, but I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. 

This is an amazing community who support each other without knowing each other.