Tips for hanging in there

[Hlkin]

Hey everyone

I have been struggling with episodic generalised anxiety and panic attacks for about 15 years. I had been going really well for about 2 years, and then I had a panic attack on the phone to my boss about 2 weeks ago. Since then I spiralled into my usual pattern of being unable to eat, non-stop vomiting and unable to stay asleep. I was able to recover within about a week, and I tried to return to work. I made it through 2 days before I melted down again, and with my GP's support I have the next two weeks off work.

I have been seeing a psychologist through my work's EAP, and I have now got a mental health care plan in place which will allow me to continue with the same psychologist once the work-supported sessions run out. I feel like I am doing all the things I should be doing, I am trying to practice the mindful techniques to calm the panic symptoms, and trying to keep hyrdrated by sipping herbal tea, and when I can, eating a few bites of fruit. I am also trying to exercise, and spend some time outside. I am making lists of things I can do each day to try and achieve small things. I am also watching a little too much netflix. I am seeing the psychologist once a week at the moment, and while its helpful, I am finding the days inbetween tough. I feel very guilty about dropping out of work.

I was hoping to draw on your collective wisdom for what are the day to day things you do to help your recovery.

But inbetween these sessions, I am looking for

[Fizz_wizz]

Hi h@lkin

I feel your pain I got the opportunity to move into a different roll at my work andit's something I like to do but my anxiety has kicked in big time I too am having panic attacks vomiting and not eating either I like what I'm doing but the anxiety is to much to cope with and I'm going down hill I had to make the decision to stay with it or go back to what I was doing before and that to me is the hardest choice but I've made a decision and now im second guess it. It's good if you work is supporting you but at the end of the day you have to do what's right for your health I have been put on medication which definitely helps but at the moment I'm in the same situation as you I feel your pain....

[baet123]

Hi H@lkin,

Welcome to the forums. Thank you for posting and sharing your story with us and I am sorry to here that you have been struggling as of late. I think your extremely brave, strong and resilient for going through what you have been through and your willingness to share it with us is amazing. Hats off to you!

Firstly, I think the time off will do you some good. Try and relax and do nothing for the next two weeks except for focusing on your health and your emotional well-being. Listen to music, binge watch tv series, relax at home and just take a well deserved and needed break!

Second, it is excellent that you do have a supportive network of health professionals and that you are getting assistance. That is super important to maintain regular correspondence/contact for your own well-being. It is super encouraging that you want to improve and get better and that is amazing!

Thirdly, it is amazing that you are practising good self-care through exercise, socialising outside and eating well just to name a few.

I think your guilt is normal and so is what your going through.

Listen to your favourite bands, play your favourite games, eat your favourite foods (on occasion) and try to enjoy life as much as possible so that you can share your techniques with your professionals so they can work on/develop further action to assist you.

I look forward to your replies.

All the best,

Nick.

[Hlkin]

HI Nick

Thanks for the reply. I am really finding it tough to relax, my mind just won't settle. I haven't really stopped ever, and now that I am off work, I just don't know what to do myself. I don't know how I will manage when I go back to work, my anxiety has made me think I am incompetent, and it's sabotaging my abilities.

My partner is struggling too and I feel bad that I cannot be a very good support for him.

[baet123]

Hi H@lkin,

Great to hear back from you. I can tell that you are extremely smart,intelligent and thoughtful from the way you type. They are amazing qualities to have and you are by no means incompetent. I know its hard but thinking and telling yourself you are capable is super important. A positive mindset is hard to achieve especially when your going through a tough time at present but if you can add a few positive thoughts here and there I am sure that will assist you.

What are some of your hobbies? Until you return to work, try think of this break as a well deserved break for all the good, hard work you have been doing. Just do things you want to do and do whatever makes you happy. Do you enjoy cooking? Watching movies? The beach? Try and preoccupy your mind with happy thoughts and participate in activities that don't require you to think or worry.

Hope this helps and keep us posted.

Nick.

[Hlkin]

I am having a good day today. I walked the dog and really enjoyed the warmth of the sun, the beauty of nature, and felt a glimmer of joy, seeing my beautiful dog's joy. I have meditated everyday for the last week and enjoyed those few moments of calm. My mind still races with thoughts that are anxious or depressed, but I am trying to practice observing them and being kind to myself. I actually opened a notebook and sketched some flowers I saw today. I also wrote some positive affirmations, which I haven't been able to even think of or take seriously in weeks.

I also told two of my closest friends about my current state and I did this to try and take away the shame I have been feeling for falling apart and not being OK. They have been fantastic, and I think that's why I am feeling positive today.

I have been using the headspace app and I would recommend this for others.
I am still freaked out about returning to work, I don't want to go downhill again. I am discussing a return to work plan with my GP next week, and my psychologist gave me some ideas of things that may be helpful to put in place.

Yesterday wasn't so good. I was pretty much beating myself up for everything, telling my husband I am not worthy of his love and offering him divorce. Luckily for me, he knows that 'this too shall pass' and loves me in all forms. I am finding the mornings the hardest, I don't know what happens overnight, but I am waking up tense and I guess 'pre-anxious', like on high alert, my mind is racing, and any little thought will set me off. It's frustrating, because I know I am on the mend, I just wish I could bounce out of bed and start my day.

Does anyone have any tips for that first thing in the morning freak-out, how do you push through?

THanks

[baet123]

Hey H@lkin,

I can see that you are putting in so much effort which is amazing and it seems to be paying off. It is great that you are able to acknowledge and exercise mindfulness relating your thoughts and emotions.

You should be really proud that you built up the courage to tell your friends. This is super important because they love and care for you and only want the best for you so moving forward they will be able to provide even more support and assist you on your journey.

Regarding the morning freak-outs, your not on any medication are you? It may be worth considering consulting your GP if medication may be beneficial. Taking the right medication before you sleep at night may provide you with the ability to wake up and feel great. Of course, medication impacts everyone differently and not one glove fits all right? However, this is definitely an enquiry you may wish to consider.

Keep seeing your GP and psychologist and I sense that you are on the right path at the moment and a brighter and better future awaits. Keep kicking butt! You are doing great. Life isn't easy but you have immense resilience and character and your fight and courage is inspiring. Please keep us posted.

All the best,

Nick.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi H@lkin,

Hope you're doing well. I can see that Fizz wizz and baet123 have already replied and given you some great support already.

Just wanted to say though that I'm glad you're taking that time for yourself to manage your anxiety. I can see that you're walking this fine line between aiming for self care, tackling your anxiety while still being mindful of going back to work. It's not easy!

baet 123 has given you so much advice already. The only thing I can think of to add is that often tackling anxiety can be kind of a skill. What works for some people isn't going to work for others - and when you do find what works for you it takes a little bit of practice. Like with the headspace app for example, you may find over time it will minimise those freak outs and it could be a strategy to use at work (like in your lunch break). Perhaps while you are taking this time off you can brainstorm some of the things that might be useful when you go back to work - helping you pass over those skills and self care strategies.

Hope this helps,