The guilt is overwhelming me

vixstar · ‎27-11-2014

I am struggling at the moment with being unemployed. I have always had problems with the working environment due to my social anxiety and panic attacks, however found a stable job I was in for 6 years. At the beginning of this year I was made redundant as my entire site was shut down. Since Feb this year I have been unemployed and trying to find some part time work that suits me and I can handle due to my anxiety it has been very hard to find something and each day I feel more and more depressed and guilty for not working. My husband is such a hard worker getting up at 5 am everyday and not getting home until 6 pm sometimes 6 days a week. Every morning he gets up and leaves for work I feel more and more guilty as I am not contributing financially to our relationship and do nothing at home because I don't want to spend any money. I am on job websites every day and don't know what else I can do if the jobs aren't there. I can't stop feeling guilty and on top of my anxiety and depression I am really struggling. I'm not sure if I am looking for advice or just somewhere to get my thoughts out. I know it is starting to bother my husband me not working and I am trying to show him I am looking as much as possible. I also see a psychiatrist who has upped my medication during this difficult time until I can find some work I am comfortable with. I am feeling like such a failure at the moment to everyone around me, my husband, my family and friends.

Beltane · ‎27-11-2014

Oh I know exactly how you feel as I feel the same! The last 6 months I've been unemployed and trying to find the right meds and therapy to get my anxiety to a level I can live with. Only in recent weeks have I finally seen some kind of stability and positive difference.

anywho: have you accessed the mental health care plan through your GP? Meds help but therapy is also really important and this plan gets you 10 free/ cheap (super cheap) visits to a psychologist who can help you cope other this difficult time and help you with strategies and coping skills to get you back into work.

secondly I hope you're connected up with Centrelink- if your hubby earns too much you won't get any financial assistance but you hopefully will get hooked up with a job services company that can offer you re-training, education and support. They can also offer financial incentives for employers to hire you. I explained my problems with depression/ anxiety to centrelink and they linked me up with a job company that provided specialised service to people like you and me- all we need is a little extra help right?

i don't know how urgent your financial situation is, but it's really hard to get a no-skill entry-level job. Those jobs will get hundreds of resumes for the same position. But if you can survive financially fir a few more weeks there are heaps of courses you can do- just Google them.

some ideas for short courses (like a few days): Barista (coffee), RSA/ bar (alcohol serving in pubs or liquor shops),

courses that take a couple of months: aged care/ community care (these jobs are desperate for people- I used to work in community care and it was really nice. Looking after elderly people in their own home- so not a nursing home). Child care (again, lots of work available). Medical reception. Pathology (blood taking)

and then of course there's longer TAFE or apprenticeships or UNI courses. They might take 6-24 months.

Id highly recommend trying to find out if there's much work in the industry you plan on studying before studying. Just so you don't walk out with a diploma but still unemployed.

Its ts taken me only 8 months to do half my diploma in childcare online. I got VET Fee Help which is an interest free loan- you pay it back when you earn $50000 or more a year. So finding work is hard now but once I have my diploma I'll be sorted.

Beltane · ‎27-11-2014

Also studying is helping my feelings of guilt and like I'm not contributing financially. My partner is very supportive and he just wants to see me trying. He tells me everyday, he loves me and will support me through thick and thin- he just wants me to keep trying. So I study heaps, keep up with my psychology appointments and oractise my therapy. I volunteer to get experience (you could ask for half a day a week volunteering in a local shop or op-shop or nursing home? It might help your anxiety regarding work and give you another reference and more skills). And worst comes to worst, I'll be done my course in less than 6 months. It's not ideal- I readly need a job sooner- but at least it's something to hang on to. I know my diploma will get me a job. At least there's that, you know?

vixstar · ‎02-12-2014

Hi Beltane,

I apologize for my very late response and thank you for replying to my post.

We actually sound very similar in our situations and it's nice to know I am not going through this alone.

I went to see my GP last week for a psychologists referral so I am booked in to start seeing someone soon. I had a really great psychologist but they moved interstate so it has been a while since I saw anyone, I am hoping it will help me.

I have a couple of qualifications a bachelors degree in business and training and assessment so I am not eligible for any government funding for courses and money is quite tight at the moment so I can't really afford to do any courses as some of them are a few thousand dollars, that's just too much at the moment.

I went to Centrelink earlier this year and found out I wasn't eligible for any payments as my husband apparently earns too much, even though we are struggling on one income and he really doesn't earn a lot at all. So they really weren't much help at all.

Can I ask how you got refereed to the specialized job services you mentioned with Centrelink and if you don't mind letting me know who they are that would be a great help. I got told by my Centrelink I wasn't eligible for any assistance at all even from job services providers. and your right we do need a little bit of extra help 🙂

I have volunteered to do gift wrapping at Myer over the Christmas period for a couple of shifts and have my training session on Thursday. It will get me out of the house and out in the real world for a little while anyways. I have applied for some volunteer positions in the past to keep up my work experience but they seem just as hard to get as a regular job with all the paperwork and reference checks involved.

On the bright side we do sound very lucky to have understanding supportive husbands, mine tries as much as he can to support me he's not the most sympathetic emotional person but he tries and he really is my rock, I don't know where I would be without him. He knows I am trying too and I suppose at the moment that's all we can do.

Thanks again for your reply and I'm glad you sound like you getting on the right path and wish you well in your studies in the future.

Beltane · ‎03-12-2014

Well I'm in a cebtrelink payment so a payment receiver always ends up with a job services company eg Sarina Russo, Matchworks, EACH employment. They deal with the average centrelink job seeker.

but because I have severe problems cos of my mental illness I can only look for certain jobs (which Im super honest about. I don't want to be unemployed so I don't want to be one of those people that sit there saying "no I caht do that, no I can't do that". I go in there very honest and say "he's what I ansolutwky caht deal with, here is what I definitely can, and everything else we can talk about".

but honestly, try again to see if cebtrelink will link you up with a job services company even if they won't pay you anything. There are companies that take non-cebtrelink people but I've never found one, and I looked pretty hard.

there are also plenty of agencies that take on staff to do temp/ agency work eg temp receptionist roles. But I didn't go down that way cos agency/ tell is on my "can't handle list".

it's a shame you can't get work in the field you're qualified in! Your qualifications sound impressive! A job seeker company would probably try to get you a job in that field rather than retrain you (cos at best they'd offer you a certificate- you already have a bachelor. It's a step down to them)

i had had a similar problem- was already qualified Nd as you say the government won't find another course unless it's a higher study. But my qualified career was the reason I had a nervous breakdown in the first place so it was on my "not even ever" list.

but although I pay full free for line I was still eligible for Vet Fee Help. Every australian is, we all get a certain amount we can borrow. It's a government interest free loan for studies basically. So yes my course is full fee ($9000 for my diploma) but the loan has paid for it and I pay the loan back only after I earn $50000 a year (and even then it's very affordable)

vet fee help is only for Diploma or higher unfortunately.

many companies can let you pay in instalments say over 2 years also. like $50 a week for 2 years. No interest charged.