Terrified of losing teeth and extreme dental anxiety

[CMF]

I went to the dentist last November after not having been for many, many, many years. I have straight, white teeth so thought I didn't need to go however notices tartar build up and a slightly wobbly front tooth so the panic made me go.

I had x rays & full check up. I was told that my teeth are actually quite good, good colour and I have no bone loss however have gum recession from over brushing and a build up of plaque under the gums. I had a clean done and was to go back after a few weeks for another clean which I did not as xmas approached a things got a bit busy. I went back for another apt as a tooth was bothering me and saw a different dentist as my apt got mixed up. i told him my gum recession freaks me out, he assured me by changing how im brushing and by flossing it can be controlled and he has seen 10 times worse, not to worry. I felt he was very thorough in his explanations and decided to see him again when a tooth was bothering me. Upon examination he told I have gum disease which the first one didn't tell me. I was shocked. I had the choice of going to a periodontist who can perform a procedure to clean under the gums (this freaked me out) or have 3 monthly cleans a the dentist surgery to try and improve. if no improvement or it gets worse I will need a periodontist. i opted for he 3 monthly appts. I had the 1st clean a month ago. the hygienist was very happy he was able o get right under the gums and told me he could see no tooth movement and flossing has probably stabalised it. I told him of my anxiety over losing teeth, he told me I would not lose any in this lifetime! Last week my son had 4 wisdom teeth out, this caused some anxiety in me and my front top gums started to sting. I thought I flossed too hard. there is no redness, bleeding or swelling,they look fine. it is one area and I'm freaking out, thinking it is bacteria/plaque eating away at my teeth. it does stop sometimes ie when I eat or chew gum. out for dinner last night I had a panic that I wold need the periodontist procedure even though the dentist was happy a month ago. after having dinner it eased up and i relaxed as i spoke about it. I know someone who had painful stinging lips for months due to stress. I'm thinking of going back to dentist this week but don't want unnecessary things done. all this is giving me anxiety and panic. Its making me sick. I'm scared to go back and I'm scared to do nothing.

cmf

[Paul]

Hey cmf

Dentists and teeth can be a bit of a worry sometimes, but it sounds like yours are awesome, both teeth and dentists. being told you won't lose any teeth this lifetime is such a relief. It's pretty natural to worry about something as important as our dental health, actually it's pretty normal to worry about many things otherwise we wouldn't be very resilient as human beings.

With anxiety it can amplify the worry we would normally have and can produce things like the feeling you had when your son had his wisdom teeth out.

So I'm just thinking about the health of your teeth and wondering what the worst things that could happen would be.

At the same time I wonder what the best thing is that could happen.

That led me to think about the most likely thing that could happen.

What are your thoughts cmf?

Paul

[pipsy]

Hi C.M.F. My understanding is: you are an exceptional mum who 'feels' the pain when her kids are in pain. You empathize so much you wanted to remove your sons pain and take it. It's like a phantom pregnancy where you want so desperately to have a child, you actually experience a pregnancy. With you, you are trying so hard to shield your children, (a fabulous quality), I might add, you 'took' the pain and your mind made your gums react. I'm not saying it's in your mind. Far from it, I'm saying you empathize and this causes pain. I congratulate you for being such a caring, loving mum. Mind power can cause all sorts of things to manifest when our loved ones are hurting. It's fabulous to meet someone who loves her kids so much. If you are in doubt, by all means re-visit your dentist. I'm sure though that if everything has been 'passed' before, there is absolutely no reason to believe different now.

Lynda

[CMF]

Hi Paul and Pipsy,

Thx for you quick responses.

Paul, the worst that could happen is that could happen is that I need to go to a periodontist for what i see as a yucky procedure and if not successful I could lose teeth down the track and need scary surgery for implants. All expensive stuff.

The best thing is it could be due to my anxiety and will pass when my son goes back to school this week. I think seeing him at home keeps me anxious. or I could go see the hygenist and explain and ask to do another clean.

I don't know what the most likely thing is as I cant decide what to do.

Lynda

Wow, what a different perspective and thank you for your kind words. I don't think I'm a great mum but i feel everything so much for them. I really felt for him having 4 wisdoms out. I was scared for him, it was general anaesthetic as the teeth were still in the gums. I hope what you suggest is correct. yes I could go back this week. when I'm anxious the thought of going back freaks me out, when it subsides the thought of going back is ok nd I hope he will just laugh a me. I'm quite comfortable with having a laugh at myself with them.

my next clean is in August. I cant lose my teeth in 3 months, its slow progressing.i just picture plaque and bacteria eating away under my gums, i think the stinging is my gums receeding but the hygenist was happy he got right under. was there some he didn't get? he was thoroughwith the ultrasonic tool. I was there and hour and a half.

I have a great imagination.

sometimes I think I should just have them all pulled and get false ones haha. I have an awfu lhabit now of always looking at peoples teeth when I talk to them which makes me feel worse and of course I think 'why me'. I feel ripped off as over brushing caused this, plus not going to the dentist as I was scared and didn't see the need if nothing bothered me. if I had gone regularly over the years I could have prevented this.

cmf

[Lost_Girl]

Hi cmf,

I had a look around the web to see if I could find anything to help. There are a lot of articles about dental anxiety and fears but not a lot about treatment other than how to calm people to get them to the dentist which you can already do so that's a great start!

The best idea I saw was to have a mantra of sorts. I know from speaking to you elsewhere that you are constantly checking your teeth. I am wondering if putting a little sign on your mirror might help remind you. An idea on what it might say;

• I trust my dentist
• Overbrushing will make it worse
• As long as I brush and floss morning and night I am ok
• My teeth will not fall out in this lifetime
• Breathe and walk away

My thoughts are this may help change the habit of checking. Perhaps you can think of some activity to do instead so each time you read the mantra you then go "time for xyz activity" which will serve as a distraction.

Kind thoughts,

Carol

[CMF]

Hi Carol,

thanks for looking in the internet, I also do this constantly when my anxiety is high. I'm scared what is going to happen to me. Will I end up toothless or will I be all teeth and no gums. am I going to need invasive treatments? I look at other people's teeth, some are discoloured, some look black around the gums I know someone whose teeth look green between the gums, she is a smoker too. I think this stinging is bringing it all on. others laugh at me and say my teeth are fine..i don't want to smile anymore, so paranoid. part of my anxiety is what happens if I do need something, who will look after my kids. I cant just go to the dentist tomorrow. I need to arrange the little one to be looked after, make sure I'm here for afterschool pickup etc so this makes it more of a drama for me.

cmf

[Dwwmills]

Hi Can’t move forward.

From what I’ve read it sounds like your anxiety is the real problem rather than the condition of your teeth. Your dentist and hygienist tell you that your teeth are fine but your anxiety is telling you that this is not the case. It is your anxiety rather than your teeth that you need to focus on. I’m speaking from experience here as I have suffered anxiety on and off for 40 years. When my anxiety was up I would always be focusing on one thing or another as a major problem. Once you fix the particular problem another one pops up. It wasn’t until I got my anxiety under control that all these other worries went away. Otherwise it’s just an endless procession of worry after worry.

On a practical note about brushing your teeth my dentist suggested buying and automatic toothbrush to me a couple years ago. It’s a wonderful piece of equipment. The one I bought vibrates back and forward as usual but also pulses as well. This makes it very easy and effortless to clean your teeth and does a better job for me than by hand. The upsides are that it actually times how long you brush your teeth so that you don’t over brush. It also has a pressure sensor on it which lights up if you put too much pressure on the tooth brush. It takes the guesswork out of it.

Good luck

Dean

[pipsy]

Hi C.M.F. I'm sure your hygienist was able to clean everything. Dentists as with Dr's are usually extremely thorough. A dentist will usually make sure you are fairly pain free when you leave his rooms. I do understand your anxiety, it is drummed into us from an early age how cleaning teeth is vital for long lasting health. From what you say, I gather the dentist was pleased with the overall appearance and look of your teeth. I have dentures and deeply regret them. The trouble I had adjusting to wearing them, learning how to eat, talk. If I had my time, I would have looked after my teeth as you have. It doesn't sound as though there is a need to worry, your anxiety over your son seems to have surfaced other fears. Perhaps a trip to a counsellor might help alleviate some of your fears an anxieties. Talk to your dentist again, may be talk to your Dr about your anxieties.

Lynda

[CMF]

Thank you Dean and Lynda,

I have a beautiful 12 year old daughter who tells me I have beautiful teeth nice and straight!

Yes I agree with the anxiety being the issue.

Years ago I had red, bleeding sore gums and someone told me to rub alcohol on the to kill anything. not just any alcohol, a clear spirit such as vodka. He bought me some and I used it and it all cleared up. I didn't go to the dentist, which I unfortunate as I did have tartar build which should have been cleaned. At my recent dentist visit I told him I try to do everything right and mentioned the alcohol. he was shocked, said yes it will kill bacteria bit is really bad for gums. this person told me again today to use the proper alcohol and I will be fine. he looked it up and read it to me saying it will be absorbed by the gums, kill bacteria and you then rinse it out. in my panic this morning I tried a little and after some time the irritation subsided. I have now gone a few hours feeling much more comfortable. I have read that alcohol can dry out and shrink your gums but his argument is that they alcohol has been used for years to kill germs, he did stress not just any old alcohol and to just do it a day or two! He does alot of research re natural remedies and health etc. He doesn't take medicines ot tablets or anything, does everything naturally.

so my dilemma is who to listen to. HE claims dentists will never suggest alcohol as they don't know I can work, plus its a business they want people to keep going back and sell you products.

I'm thinking of trying the alcohol a day or so but am a little worried of harming my gums. Of course I don't want them to shrink anymore. I'm between a rock and a hard place. This particular irritation occurred after I flossed, I never used to floss before but the fear has been put into me now.

cmf

[CMF]

Ok so after a good day my anxiety is back and gums stinging. Am I going to go in circles again with this. I really don't want to go back to the dentist as I'm scared they will o things I don't need as HE said to me and the I don't want him to start going on again about just rubbing the alcohol,