Telling my boss about my mental health

[GreenEgg]

Hi everyone

I’ve been wondering about whether I should discuss anxiety and depression with my boss. I’m wondering if you have any experiences or advice.

They are incredibly supportive but part of that is they are constantly looking for development opportunities for me, particularly in terms of leadership experience as the next linear career step would be a manager.

The problem is that I can find this very triggering for my anxiety, and I’m really struggling. I know certain things are part of being a leader but I feel like I’m drowning and I can’t make a decision. I spend all day and night looking back over things and second guessing myself, not eating or sleeping properly. Running over hypothetical scenarios in my head. Playing them through and imagining something terrible, deciding I need to look into something more, ending up at a new scenario, etc.

At the same time, I worry that if I tell my boss they won’t volunteer me for this stuff. That I won’t ever get the experience or grow or learn. That I can’t handle it and they’ll know that. But then I worry that I’m even thinking about telling them is a cop out, to avoid more responsibility. I feel like some of my quirks which they know will take on a different light.

I’m just feeling really conflicted and stressed and not confident in myself right now.

G

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear GreenEgg,

It sounds like your managers have a lot of confidence in your ability to step up to a management position…They have a lot of faith in you that your suitable for your next role in your place of employment…

Anxiety and depression will make us second guess ourselves and not believing in ourselves..I did disclose to my boss that I struggle with depression and anxiety and they have been very supportive towards me…but I’m only a volunteer not on a payroll…maybe being a volunteer made a different to my disclosing my mental health…it’s a catch 22 position your in..it could go both ways..one is they will accept and support you, the other they might be afraid that a promotion might be detrimental to you mental health and too much for you to cope in you…it’s a hard decision to make…

Maybe if the position is offered to you, take it on and see how you feel mentally, if your not managing and your mental health starts declining…then maybe having a chat to your managers about your anxiety and depression might be the way to go….They must have been watching your performance at work and have confidence that you’re the right one for the job….Try hard to have that same confidence in yourself….

Just a gentle question….(if that’s okay)….How have you managed the other development opportunities you’ve been offered since you’ve been employed with them?  ….we’re they hard at first and then over time you became more confident within yourself?….

You got this GreenEgg… Anxiety and depression doesn’t have to define who we are…even though  they do try hard to take away our confidence and belief in ourselves….We must remember that these are just thoughts and not the truth of who we really are…

My kindest thoughts dear GreenEgg with my care..

Grandy..

[GreenEgg]

Thanks grady for being so supportive, and I’m glad you were able to talk about it and were supported by them. I’m not sure I think it sounds similar, it is still a hard conversation to have with someone. I’ve never talked to anyone about it ever except health professionals, so maybe it’s not the best place to start anyway.

I don’t think the position will be offered to me, it’s something I’d have to apply for. It’s just my boss actively looks for ways to help all of us progress, which is fantastic but then I feel like I’m letting them down and I can’t tell them how much I’m struggling with the extra tasks.

I think some of the other opportunities were more my strengths, and they were challenging but not too much. I didn’t deal with it great still but it wasn’t as hard. I guess over time too it has gotten a bit easier

[GreenEgg]

Thanks Grandy, not Grady. I’m so sorry my autocorrect  😔