Struggling to go to work

[Lemonlover]

Hi,

Im new to this type of support but I'm wanting help from other who may feel the same as me.

I've recently relapsed back into depression and my anxiety is off the charts. A few months ago I was running a busy restaurant in the middle of the city and now I'm struggling to walk out my own front door.

I have recently started a new job and was only there for 3 days before this kicked in. It's not a bad job and nobody was nasty in anyway towards me but nor was they very inviting. I usually wouldn't have a problem with this and would just continue about my day but after having to take the past few days off I'm terrified of returning out of fear of judgement and feeling uncomfortable around people. Plus as ive only technically worked 3 days i keep thinking about what they must think of me but honestly if I could I would. The feelings are so crippling I just want to curl into a ball and cry (most times i do) The journey also requires me to catch a bus and then a train the journey is only around 40 minutes long but the thought of this alone can be enough to put me off.

The day before I can be fine and set everything up ready to go and then as soon as I get into bed it hits me full force and I just lay there, even when I do finally fall asleep I wake heavy chested only a few hours later.

Im slowly starting to be put off going outside at all And feel nervous if I have to do anything alone, totally out of character for me.

i really am aware I have nothing to worry about, I have a very supportive partner but i can see this is starting to have an affect on him and our relationship as we really do need my wage to get by.

I anyone can help or give me advice on how to overcome this I would appreciate any support and right now I'm starting to feel more like a useless burden than a functioning half to a whole.

X

[white knight]

Hi LL, welcome

New job, there ismt a soul one the planet that wouldn't be anxious for a couple of weeks.

So that means your anxiety at work is normal. There are some workers that wont trust until you've proven yourself trustworthy which means keeping secrets. So beware. Working amongst many colleagues means playing a game of personalities.

What you might have experienced is burnout. Anyway diagnosis is a thing for your GP. Asap

in the following thread I mention "muscle tensioning exercises ". Its a process that takes 20 minutes prior to sleeping. Ive been doing it gor 30 years and it relaxes you more and more as time goes by.

Use google

Topic: how I eliminated anxiety- beyondblue

So chill a little until you settle.

Tony WK

[BballJ]

Hi Lemonlover,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

I am sorry to read what you are going through, starting a new job is always tough and nerve racking as you try to make friends with your new work mates and get to know them. I think the fact you had time of between shifts is neither here nor there. It is your business why you were off and as long as your manager was ok with it then that should be it. I understand the anxiety will take over however and like you I suffer from it and sometimes the worst time it fires up is right before trying to sleep. I have woken with the heavy chest as well before.

My question to you is have you ever spoken to your GP about all of this and maybe a psychologist so you could understand it a little more and they could give you coping strategies to help with this?

Please, post back as much as you like, we are always happy to talk.

My best for you,

Jay

[Mathy]

Hey LemonLover and welcome to BB,

I’m going to assume by your reference to lapsing back into depression and your anxiety levels that you have spent some time with mental health professionals.If I am wrong, please forgive me.

Firstly, I would second what Jay has said, it would be a good move to go back to your GP or other mental health professional and have a chat about how you are feeling and what sort of help/strategies they could suggest.

Anxiety to me is like a never ending black hole. The more it is fed, the worse it gets. Whilst I’m not a professional, what you are describing is anxiety that is giving you some agoraphobic (fear of going outside) tendencies. So every time you allow anxiety to reduce your boundaries, it will push and make them smaller, until you are stuck inside your safe place, which can be your home. I know how hard it is to get anyone to understand that feeling, and I know how hard it is to challenge it, and push the boundaries back out again. This is why help is needed.

There is a great little book called “Living with IT”, by Bev Aisbett, which fantastically explains the process of progressing from anxiety to panic attacks - anxiety, agoraphobia and panic attacks are all bedmates. It’s a words and cartoon style book, very easy to read and not very long. I still use mine, and I lend it out to people. If you’ve had some mental health help in the past, it is possible to use this book to reinforce your skills and strategies.

I really hope you’re feeling better about returning to work, and like others have said, please post back, we are here for you, all the best, cheers M 🙂