social anxiety

[shellshell]

Ive always thought that I was complete outcast and the worlds playing an evil trick on me. I was looking up about and watching people talk about social anxiety and it was then I realised how extremely debilitating it can get and I thought that's me!....My doctor told me I had severe anxiety some years back that was over a centrelink thing and never really went into any detail about my anxieties.

      Ive realised Ive suffered for most of my life never really knew what was wrong with me just always believed Im pathetic and a social retard. I was severely bullied at school

 Abandoned bye my mother at 8 she left in the middle of the night ran away with another man my father was very controlling, even as a child I remember thinking that my mother never loved or cared for me, I always had the feeling she never liked doing things for me.

    I was watching some things on the internet people talking about social anxiety and one thing that stuck was this guy who said social anxiety comes from a time in your past where you felt shame, well that works because I really did feel shame when my mother left us, I tried to hide it in school at the time because I didn't know how to explain it I could see everyone elses mother loved them so so much and they would never leave that made me ashamed of myself.

 I don't talk much people have always said that, I have no friends. Son and daughter that's all, there grown up now I raised them on my own.

    Im getting chest pains a lot now because Im really stressed about some things going on. I get really bad chest pains when I feel panicky and it feels like my body is toxic poisonous inside, my palms sweat and I cant think straight. I don't know if this is some kind of panic attack.

I am working now,  jobs in the past never lasted for long. Im having issues with work but don't want to get into it.

Ive had men in my past but that always turns out bad.

Theres a lot of things ive left out..sorry for the rant everyone.

[Chris_B]

Hi shellshell,

Welcome to the forums.  There's no need to apologise for posting, getting this stuff out into the open is very important, and a good first step towards making you feel better.

Feel free to talk more about the things you have left out above, you will find lots of people on the forums here who will be able to relate to what you're going through.

The abandonment issues you talk about run deep for a lot of people, and it will affect other aspects of your life - relationships, work, friends etc - in ways that you might not realise.  It would be a good idea to see your GP, not just about the chest pains and panic attacks, but to get a psychologist referral so you can talk through these issues in a professional environment.

Hope to hear from you again soon.

best
CB

_____________________________________________________________
Online Community Manager

[Natz]

Hi ShellShell,

Oh sweetheart, i just feel like wrapping you up in a big hug - i suffer anxiety myself and somethings you said in what you call 'your rant' made sense to me and helped me see something a little clearer.

I always was the 'looser' in life, not getting picked first in games/school etc, but now i see that maybe i have had anxiety way longer that i thought, that i was not letting people in so in turn people wern't letting me in.

I hope you find some peace x

[jonnyboy]

gday shellshell

 Ive had social anxiety from a young age to.  I also have bipolar. what I have found has helped me greatly is being involved in karate. I also was bullied  at school even got a broken  arm. Ive been attacked at pubs for no good reason used to drink a lot the only way I could cope being with people in a social  environment.  Now I teach young kids and are able to stand in front of large groups of people where before I would hold my breath and almost pass out turn bright red. Im also very good at self defence dosnt mean I wont to harm people but if something was to happen im not defenceless which gives a great deal of confidence.  If you can make the time try being involved in a club you might be surprised what you can do!!!

cheers jon    

[shellshell]

Hey guys thanks so much for your support you don't know how much I appreciate it.

And Jon about the karate funnily enough I was even thinking about that myself recently just to work on some confidence  but was worried about cost and standing in a group of people.

[jonnyboy]

Shellshell the cost of  the class I do is $12 a lesson. It runs for 1 hr 45mins I do national karate academies Miranda kai system.  First lesson free I think membership is $90 dollars a year and grading for belts is extra. 

  We stand next to one another in a line so you wont have stand out front.  We have  quite a few shy girls  in the class.  The instructor will  know you are shy and they do there best to keep you coming back next time. They wont put you on the spot they know people don't like that. Its all about building confidence. When my instructor asks a question  people   put there hands up to answer it. so your not put on the spot.  The instructor stands out font all you have to do is follow his instructions. The fear of going to your first class is the only thing that's going to hold you back. don't go to the first class to watch go there to try it . 

cheer jon

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