So scared that I already have cancer, even though doctors does not think so at the moment.

[shaeri]

Hi GUYS. I have health anxiety for years now and I really dont know what to do. I have a stomach bug and a bone ache in the lower ribs and back and I am convinced that it is a cancer that has gotten there. The pain started around 4 months ago. Went away too. I had put it to fibromyalgia. But now since i heard that stomach infection can lead to cancer the bone pain has played up again.

I had a telehealth with a specialist for the stomach who said it was a low risk, as per the results and yet I am not convinced. I used to have therapist but that stopped during the covid. I am waking up in the morning knowing I definitely have cancer and its is taking my whole day to deal with it. I am going googling through the symptoms and all my symptoms are leading to the c -word. I know the bone pain I have, has increased because I personally pressed on it to look for lumps and yet in my mind, I am done for.

My husband obv does not want to listen and I have kids that I am being nice to, but its taking a lot of effort. I asked the doctor specifically with my cancer fear and he agreed on a endoscopy this June, which is 2 months away. He thought my infection turning to cancer was unlikely at the moment. I feel so stupid even writing this, but I am looking for someone who checks through and says "no you dont have cancer". I really do not know how this fear got here, what started it, but now that its here it feels terrible. I am trying to do breathing and meditation but I am already in the anxiety/freaking out zone. I know I should go to the gp with my bone pain, but I am afraid to go as well. I am snappy, dictracted, lump in throat, restless and constantly checking symptoms. Just dont know how to stop. It just is not going out of my mind. I weirdly think if I feel anxious and cope with it in my head, i wont feel so shocked when this terrible thing actually happens. Super weird , I know. I am writing here for the first time and it will be nice to ... I dont know.. hear from you. and Thank you for reading this.

[Sophie_M]

Hi shaeri,

Welcome to our friendly online community. Thanks for reaching out tonight, we know it can be difficult to do that for the first time and we're glad you did. We're so sorry to hear that this is giving you so much anxiety. Please know that our community is here to support you.

We are also sorry to hear that you haven't been able to see your usual therapist due to Coronavirus. We'd encourage you to visit our Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service. The website will be regularly updated with information, advice and strategies to help you manage your wellbeing and mental health during this time. The website also has contact information for the Coronavirus Support Service. They can give you some support on your anxiety and also advice and referrals for how to get an appointment with a therapist or other health professionals you may want to see.

Many of our members have felt similar and will be able to talk through these feelings with you. Please feel free to keep us updated here when you feel up to it.

[Croix]

Dear Shaeri~

I'd like to join Sophie_M in greeting you here to the Forum. Sophie does give some very sensible advice.

I can understand your fears perfectly, I do not have the same symptoms as you, but the idea of tests, getting medical reassurance but this not seeming correct -the whole thing sounds very familiar.

As a couple of examples, headaches, and chest pain. There are more but that's enough to talk about. I was completely convinced they had a straight physical cause, tumor, heart condition and so on. I had umpteen tests, everything from CTs up to MRIs and they all came back saying there was nothing to see, physically there was no reason for the symptoms.

I found this very difficult to beleive, and wondered if the tests themselves had been done under ideal conditions, and if they might be only 90% accurate and so on. It took a great deal of explaining and even some subsequent tests to change my mind.

Eventually I can to accept that my symptoms were a product of my anxiety.

By all means have tests, and if they come back negative then please see about being given treatment for your anxiety condition as I was. Since being on treatment for anxiety I've not been nearly as worried about my symptoms though sadly they are still there, if less frequent or painful.

I realise you were under a form of treatment before. Thanks to new tele-health arrangements you may be eligible to seek treatment even if your regular therapist is not available.

It's been a lot of years since this first happened to me, and that in a way just tends to confirm that my anxiety is the cause.

I'd also like to mention that looking things up on Dr Google is an unwise thing. It makes you concentrate more on the problem, as pressing and poking it does too, and does not realy help. It take a professional to diagnose.

I guess you have to have some faith in your medical team, which I admit does not come easy.

If you would like to talk some more please do, you'd be welcome.

Croix