Situation induced or inner anxiety?

[ed_b]

I believe I have (and have always had) an anxiety disorder which makes rational thinking impossible.

Fear grips me most of every day. My fear is that my business will go bust, which it looks like it will soon.

I've thought it would go bust for over 30 years and it hasn't happened yet. This time is different. I'm in trouble.

My worst fear is likely coming true and I'm paralysed with terror.

After 30 years of tiresome work, at 56 I could be ruined. Could be. If a sale goes through I could be ok. It's the could I can't live with.

Every minute of every day is spent assessing the evidence for and against my fear. The evidence for throws me into a panic attack.

I think I have an anxiety disorder, but who wouldn't?

Not sure why I'm writing this. I just feel afraid.

[white knight]

Hi ed, welcome

Financial issues will be a big trigger for many of us. It can place us in a mood that is constant because it stays in the rear of our minds all the time. Then to prove it is most magnified for us, when we get a sale or income we are happy again- such is the control our business has on us. I ran a small business for 18 years- I know the feeling.

I think your health at your age is most important, chatting to your GP, weighing up options, to let go of your business if it is just too hard to keep it going, consider selling assets etc. It will hurt in the short term but you will recover and settle. That is more important than trying to make it work time and time again.

Google

Beyondblue topic the financial world of snakes and ladders.

Beyondblue topic anxiety, how I eliminated it.

Beyondblue topic worry worry worry

regards TonyWK

[white knight]

Sorry Ed, two more things,

Ask yourself- what is the worse thing that can happen? Perhaps Bankruptcy? Bankruptcy seems such a terminal state, yet following a time I think 3 years, you can start fresh. Yes, it would be demoralising and that is why we rarely hear of those friends and family that go bankrupt. As a former debt collector I can tell you bad debts and bankruptcy is very common.

I'd like to suggest to you that there is a life after such major hurdles in your life.

TonyWK

[Step_Twelve]

Hi ed,
You're dealing with some real life challenges here, certainly not just "inner" stuff. But that doesn't mean there isn't also an anxiety disorder at work making everything much worse.

First, let me say congrats on running a successful business for over 30 years! Not everyone can do that, and it's certainly not the 'easy path' in working life. Take some time to appreciate yourself for all the years of hard work you've put it in.

Of course you're right, anyone facing the possibility of losing a business will be anxious and worried! 'Normal' anxiety is supposed to be helpful – it prevents us from taking irresponsible risks and keeps us aware of danger. But you say that you're having trouble thinking rationally and that the fear is constant and consuming – this is certainly some strong evidence that the anxiety is reaching well outside of its normal helpful role and becoming very controlling (which is when it becomes a disorder). Not only can this make it difficult to objectively weigh up the evidence (as you've found) but it will also make the outcomes seem a million times worse than they're really likely to be. Going bust isn't likely to be fun, but as White Knight said, you will cope, and you will be okay.

When I'm finding it hard to be objective and assess things rationally, it usually means that I need to bounce my thoughts off someone else to get a clearer picture. This might help you, along with chatting to your GP about the constant rumination you're experiencing. That and making sure you're generally taking care of yourself will eventually see you through this.

I hope it works out for the best. Take care.