Significant Stress and Anxiety - Returning to Work

[AdamW]

Hi Everyone,

I hope everyone is having an enjoyable morning, in Adelaide the weather is very cold which sometimes makes getting out of bed even harder. My anxiety came about 3 years ago. I was living what I would describe as a normal happy life, good job, mortgage, somewhat stable relationship and we just welcomed into the world our second child. At work the company I worked for went through a significant restructure and I moved into a role I wasn't qualified or suitable for as a Project Manager. Long story short, juggling a new job, having a young family and having relationship issues with my partner I went into a downward spiral. The stress I was experiencing impacted my life dramatically. I was diagnosed with Celiac disease, may partner and I separated and from the beginning of this year I have been of work because my anxiety was impacting my ability to do my job (all normal anxiety symptoms). I describe the working environment as being toxic. Having not worked for a while and my partner and I calling time on our relationship has left me with a somewhat identity crisis. I've worked in the same industry for 20 years and was with my partner for 10. Its been tough but I'm still here. I would like at returning to work but need to be cautious, I don't want to take on to much and end up where I was. I'm meeting my old employer tomorrow to see what its like going back into the environment. Part of me would like to go back their and openly talk about my experience as I think that's what is needed to reduce the stigma but its also tough and I'm not sure how to have those conversations. I worked in a department with 200 people. For a long time I felt like I had 2 many eggs in my basket and my basket broke. My basket I refer to as being my brain. I also feel like what I went through over 3 years has impacted me Psychologically as there are some things I don't feel I can do anymore.

Returning to work feels like the hard decision. I wanted to see how others have gone in returning to the workplace and what their experience was like and how they find things today. What have you learnt from it?

Mental illness is tough, even harder when people distance themselves from you or have trouble in understanding what it is like. I hope the children of the future don't have to face these burdens.

Thanks

[Croix]

Dear AdamW~

Welcome to the Forum. you've had a horrible time losing your relationship, being off work, anxiety -plus Celiac disease. Both your work and partner being long commitments will have made things harder for you.

Although you have not specifically said so I'm assuming you have been under treatment for your anxiety, with meds and therapy. I found I was not able to improve without these.

Coping with life's stresses increases your ability to withstand problem factors and reduces the number and severity of attacks and anxiety in general.

A lot of my behavior, I'd imagine the same applies to you, needs to be specifically targeted at dealing with my anxiety condition. A need to reduce background stress levels, to deal with anxiety attacks as they occur, and to learn to recognize trigger situations and take steps to avoid them.

While I'm not going to go into great detail living a health lifestyle with exercise, healthy diet - in your case more restricted of course - and a good sleep pattern are all very important. Equally important is doing things one enjoys to take the mind away from stress to another place - I for example read a lot and lose myself in the books.

Dealing with anxiety attacks involves for me exercise, moving away from the immediate area, thinking of how I've come though before, using an app called Smiling Mind, breathing techniques if necessary. Often getting into company.

Triggers are harder as they are not all known and tend to be almost everywhere. I'm sure in your case you would regard going to work, especially if it is in the situation you were before, would be a major one.

Have you the opportunity to both work part time and also in an area other than Project Management?

Getting back to work is a problem many of us are faced with.

I assumed before you had good medical support (if not please urgently consider it) and now I'm wondering if you have any personal support too. Do you have anyone, family or friend, to talk frankly to, who cares and wants to be a support? I found this a very great help.

I would suggest looking at the anxiety section in The Facts menu above and also browsing around this Forum to see how others in similar situation have coped.

I've not really addressed the problem of how much to disclose as it depends so much on the people you are dealing with, giving a general bit of advice is not really helpful in the circumstances.

I'd like it if you said more about how things went

Croix

[BballJ]

Hi AdamW,

Firstly, welcome to the forums. Well done for reaching out and telling your story, it takes a lot of courage to do that.

I am sorry to read what you have been through, as someone who has also suffered from anxiety for a long period of time I could relate to your post. One thing I took from your post is even though work created a lot of problems for you, you still want to go back and that shows your determination to not let the mental health issues beat you. I actually think speaking to your old employer and advising them of your situation isn't a bad idea, I know it's hard to talk about but you managed to do it here and sometimes that is part of beating the stigma attached to mental health. I haven't been off work for my mental health as my work is my distraction. I did however inform my manager of my mental health issues and was one of the better things I did as he can empathise with me and always asks how I am going with everything.

It sounds like you always had a lot on your plate and going back to work now should almost be at your own pace, is there an opportunity for a career change or different work place to start fresh?

Please, feel free to post back as much as you like.

My best for you,

Jay