Sick of Anxiety

[Desertrose28]

Hi,

I am so sick of my life being ruled by anxiety, I have so much going on in my life and just feel so overwhelmed. Today was really hard, I had to go to work but just freaked out and had a complete meltdown and resigned on the spot. I get so scared and terrified of the panic attack. I know that's what it is but I feel I am at a point where I just can't beat it and just want to run and hide and hope it will go away, but it won't. I overthink everything and can be such a negative person. I am actually so embarrassed to admit I have it. I can't eat certain foods because I get sick, so now a restricted diet too. Just a bit over it all. I just feel so hurt, and embarrassed, everybody says just get on with things and not to worry about what other people think. Supposedly I take everything the wrong way to and overthink everything. Sometimes I just wish I could have some peace from everything going on in my head, it just never stops and I am so angry at myself for being so stupid, knowing its anxiety but am letting it rule my life. I just wish I could wake up in the morning and it was gone, gone forever. I find it really hard to even leave home sometimes just that fear of being sick which has happened in the past just terrifies me. I have friends but am so embarrassed by it that I never talk about it.

[smallwolf]

Hi,

Welcome to beyond blue.

Anxiety and depression can be really painful emotionally. I have anxiety and depression. When I first spoke to a GP about what I was going through which I thought was anxiety only was referred to a psychologist for a second opinion. After those initial appointments was when I found out what I had, my thoughts were validated (there was an issue and I wasn't making it up) and could then begin with different exercises for managing it. Since then I have spoken with others in my community and I find out that I am not person to go through this. It is just not spoken about. So firstly, know that you are not alone. And that you will also be able to gain support from others here on this forum.

Which brings me to my second point... Have you spoken to anyone about this? Have you spoken to a GP? Do you speak to a psych? They will be able to give you the tools to help you through this. The users on the forum here are not trained professionals, we are people just like you that struggle through life but give you the comfort and strength when you need it.

For myself, anxiety is managed through distraction tools and other coping mechanisms. These include meditation, deep breathing exercises, walking, grounding exercises etc. There are threads on the forum on these topics.

Finally, I am really sorry to read what happened at your workplace. Do you want to do that job? If so, could you call them back and explain the situation, and see if they will come to the party?

Something I have said in other posts is this... We take the scenic route in life.

We and you didn't decide to be like this. It happened and now have to work out ways to manage it.

Let me know how you are going and if you want any more information?

Tim

[Moonstruck]

Just wanted to say Hello to you Desertrose28...I won't be of any use, except to let you know as Tim has done, that you are not alone here...there are people who understand.

I too have anxiety and "afraid " of just about everything. Outwardly no one would know. I have friends who see me as capable and confident. Fear is ever present but I have trouble naming what that fear is actually of. guess I have learned to "manage" it but that's not enough...I want to be rid of it completely!!

e.g. this is how stupid my fears are...petrol prices are thru the roof in my area. I've been going to the same servo for many years. there is another one with cheaper prices. I want to get my petrol there but am scared.

I had to walk around the place, see which bowser was the one I wanted, so I'd know which queue to get into, what side to park (I can't park on the side nearest the highway in case someone who knows me sees me while they're driving past). I don't know how to work the different little gadget where I key in the $ amount I want etc etc.

I am sick of this condition too...and if only I could answer the question "but what are you afraid of?"...I can't put it into words.

Have a word to your GP and ask to be referred for free visits to a psychologist (provided through Medicare)....its so important to talk to someone professional...but so good you have started here....I and others on here will support you as best we can.....just by talking to us may help more than you realise.....keep smiling....Moon S

[gloria10]

Hi Desertrose28 and welcome to the site.

I am sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time with anxiety at the moment. I have been in a similar situation where my anxiety got the better of me at work and I just had to quit. There is that strong feeling of wanting to run.

Its so great that you are seeking help here. Have you thought of starting either by speaking with one of Beyond Blue counsellors or a GP? Talking about it with a professional can help point you in the right direction.

Have you got friends and family you can open up to?

Take care

Gloria10

[TigerRoo]

You need a referral from your GP to a Therapist who will then recommend you to a psychiatrist. I suffered the same as you and made vast inroads after just one visit to the therapist and then the psychiatrist. Each individual needs different treatment . I was given tablets and told to use them as I need them. I quickly found that I needed but a quarter of a tablet and could then go days without requiring any. I developed an appetite problem and had to revert to taking a tablet which returned my appetite very quickly. Please see your GP. Good luck.

[Desertrose28]

Thanks guys, it is so nice that you could take time out of your day to email me, it's just nice knowing somebody feels like I do. I know I need to do something. I have been to GP and she has I need to see someone, I just find it so embarrassing as my personality doesn't match a person with anxiety and I have such a good life people i guess don't expect this. I have an underlying thyroid condition (hashimoto's disease) so doctors just say it's that so don't worry about it and I probably blame it too even though I probably have anxiety. I actually hate talking about it or anything to do with my life as it actually makes it worse, so that is why I haven't been I guess avoidance isn't helping either.

I have spoken to a couple of friends but they say stop overthinking and get on with it, easier sad then done. My husband is really good but he just gets frustrated with me as he knows I can do it but I just sometimes don't know how to. Brain is such a powerful thing. I am such a control freak, I know there is a lot of crap in my past that I need to deal with too so I will have to try, aaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!

Thanks you again for your support and encouragement, nice to know that there is a way through it.

[kentuckey]

When i read your post ,i immediatley could relaste to what you are feeling.It is almost,if not exactly like how i feel and think.I was amazed to know someone feels like i do. But as yet i am still like this so i cannot offer help,except to tell you that you are not alone in this .

good luck with everything.

[TigerRoo]

You really need to talk to a therapist.

[gloria10]

It's really great that you have spoken to your GP about it and I can completely understand that it is scary bringing up past issues. It does help if you have a counsellor that you feel comfortable with.

[TigerRoo]

Yes, I would certainly echo the above post by Gloria 10. A Councellor will help.