Ruminating Thoughts

[Tigerlily77]

12 Months ago I weened off my SSRI medication in the hope that i would be able to deal with my anxiety more holistically.

The SSRI I was taking effected my libido and after being with my now partner for 2.5 yrs .

That was the only re negative side effect however it started to bother me and needless to say my partner was pressuring me to stop taking them because of this.

I knew however that they were keeping me together but thought maybe if i found a way to fix my brain chemistry then i wouldn't need them take them again and so the last 12 months began with serious withdrawals and brain balancing and learning new coping strategies.

I have spent a small fortune of blood tests, naturopaths and supplements which 12 months later I'm still struggling.

I feel like I've done everything i can do holistically to reduce my anxiety even removed my contraceptive implant and have also started living a life alcohol free (not as easy to do as i thought) after realizing that I had been using my nightly few glasses of wine to self medicate for the better part of the last 15 yrs.

I feel a million times better physically however after huge life stressors in the last 6 months I am having crippling ruminating thoughts and looking at going back on medication again due to obsessive ruminating thoughts about the most ridiculous things.

I obsess about any slight irritation .

Mainly sensory things that bother me like noise and smell.

Over the last few years I've become really noise sensitive and it has consumed by life the last few months mainly because once something bothers me I can not stop thinking about it and I become obsessed with fixing it even when its totally out of my control.

Its become debilitating to the point that i'll end up crying in frustration because it just wont stop.

Does anyone have any suggestions that work for them?

I find it incredibly difficult to mediate and find repeating the mantra "stay here" to focus on what is right in front of me at that moment to stop the thoughts however my mind has often really gotten well away from me before i remember to do that.

Thank you for listening ... This forum is such a safe place for me as its nice to have people understand what I'm going through with out the "crazy" looks.

[smallwolf]

Tigerlily77,

I understand the costs you are talking about etc. I switched to one AD and had to get tests done periodically to make sure it did not negatively affect me liver functions. And the assoc. cost of that medication.

And then you mentioned irritations... which is me all over. My family (when I am in work mode) feel like they have to tread on eggshells fearing I might bite their head off. That, plus other side effects mean I am changing medication again. Yay!

My psych use CBT techniques with me to help stop ruminating thoughts. It can take a while, answering a number of questions, but once I can recognise those thoughts are not healthy for me I can stop. There is the Serenity prayer that goes like this...

God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change,
the courage to change the things we can,
and the wisdom to know the difference

which is also used by the AA so I found out. You can modify to suit yourself. Or Buddhist version...

If you have a problem that can be fixed, then there is no use in worrying. If you have a problem that cannot be fixed, then there is no use in worrying.

I also have an app on my phone that allows me to set a worry time for each. If something is on mind, I can add it there, and then not worry about it til the appointed time. (Of course, if SOUND is the issues, bit hard to turn that off so to speak.)

Have you tried guided meditations? That take you down a path. For example, into a garden and then waterfall. All you have to do is listen to the sound of the voice, and imagine what they are saying. But I know some people have problems with imagination also. 😞

I also have something physical with me at all time also. You can call them prayer or worry beads. But regardless of what you call them, they are something which I can play with if I need to.

Unfortunately they are many options and find the right one for each person can be an adventure. But I hope that you got something out of my post. And if there was/is anything you want to discuss further.... I am about...

Tim